Paris Hilton Made Out With A Chick So Her Male Model Boyfriend Punched A Dude And Got Arrested

October 2nd, 2012 // 54 Comments
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If the headline already confused you, here are the Cliff notes upfront for this post to save you from trying to figure this shit out: Paris Hilton has AIDS. She has AIDS now. TMZ reports:

[A] male clubgoer filed a report with the Las Vegas Metro Police Dept. claiming his girlfriend was “making out” with Paris inside XS nightclub at the Encore hotel … when Paris’ new BF River Viiperi got upset over the hot girl-on-girl action.
The alleged victim claims Viiperi — a 21-year-old male model — punched him in the face sometime around 2:30 AM … and injured him so badly, he needed medical attention.
The victim told hotel security he wanted to press charges against River … and when cops arrived to the scene, Viiperi was arrested for misdemeanor battery. He was cited and released without ever going to the police station.

And if you’re wondering where Paris Hilton, World’s Best Girlfriend, was during all this, bitch fucking bolted:

We’re told Paris had already left the scene by the time cops arrived.

As for how the hell Paris scored a Spanish male model. Turns out River Viiperi is not only practically a child, but his Wikipedia page says he barely graduated high school so he’s a goddamn moron. If you asked him what herpes is, he’d probably say, “Is that like icey American drink with the blue and red flavors? Because I very much like that. It burn when I pee now, excusey.”

Photos: Getty

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  1. YoMamma

    Pretty sad when Paris Hilton is the least eye-raping thing in this photo.

    And, does anyone believe that this puss could’ve hit someone hard enough to require medical attention?

  2. XGL

    It’s obvious what happened here. Look around the picture… this guy is obviously gay, saw Paris making out with a girl and decided to hit on a guy. Well, said guy was straight, and gay boy here got mad. I should be a detective.

  3. Paris Hilton Boyfriend River Viiperi Marlon Gobel Spring 2013 Fashion Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Paris obviously wanted a Vanilla Ice boy toy.
    I’ll bet they have the greatest of conversations.

  4. wasteoftimeguy

    I think it’s funny that 4 of the 5 guys in the banner pic all have the same hair.

    With their ties all tucked in too. It’s fun to be an individual.

  5. This is another one of those magical outfits that bake it appear as if Paris has decent tits.

  6. it all makes sense now

    See guys she doesn’t hate teh gays after all!

  7. Mateo

    This homo should punch himself in the face for that haircut.

  8. mfb

    50′s Elvis is back in style???

  9. USDA Prime McBeef

    Getting your ass kicked by a male model is not something you report to the authorities. or anyone else.

  10. So I see Paris Hilton is tired of being left out of all of the gossip sites these days and had to do something to get back in. Is her second “accidentally released” sex tape on its way now?

  11. Isn’t ANYBODY straight anymore?

  12. Paris Hilton Boyfriend River Viiperi Marlon Gobel Spring 2013 Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    So the gay dude she’s paying to be her boyfriend got pissed when the guy he was propositioning for sex refused him and punched the guy in the face? Some people can’t handle rejection.

  13. cc

    I’d like to punch everyone in this picture.

    I ask you, is that not a perfectly rational response?

  14. alex

    Damn, I was going to wear orange on orange on orange on orange…

    And, WONK EYE.

  15. What an idiot

    Standard Wonky McValtrex move: stir the pot by doing something just to get attention, then leave before the trouble starts which she directly causes. She’s a fucking coward and needs a good beatdown…

  16. Paris Hilton Boyfriend River Viiperi Marlon Gobel Spring 2013 Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Ice, Ice, baby.

  17. Audra

    I actually know River and he’s a really nice guy. I didn’t think he was an idiot until I found out he was dating Paris. He’s an up and coming model and I can only think that he’s doing this for exposure. Hopefully he keeps it wrapped.

    • Anita Massengill

      Probably should start with a massive vitamin ingestion program right now , along with bathing in bleach for the foreseeable future

      • Mike Hunt

        does the bleach kill the herpes and crabs , or just chlamydia ?
        I heard her scabies had herpes complex III

  18. anonym

    that’s justin beiber all grow’d up

  19. max

    Coke bloat X2.. ..and musky B.O.
    Where’s Lindsay, by the way?

  20. uj

    Someone tell Paris that polka-dots don’t hide herpes.

  21. lara_c

    Paris is clearly desperate to get back in the news, but at least she is not using the Amanda Bynes strategy of causing car accidents on purpose.

  22. Jake

    The only chick in the world so dirty even a tie tries to hide from her.

  23. Bob

    Let’s count the problems with this story: 1)A guy got angry when his gf made out w/ another girl (must be gay),2)if he’s gay, why get angry?, 3) a male model punching hard enough to send someone to the hospital?!

  24. Lola

    What does he model, gloves?! He’s fug as fuck.

  25. 49-Gresham

    Not been a fan of her since 2007, and it’s just down the point that things goes out of nowhere, and end up your self in prison.

  26. Mike Hunt

    Greasy proto – bonded hair that serves as a reservoir of grease for impromptu anal ingress

  27. So, let me get this straight. A 21-year-old, slick-haired she-man hit this dude so hard he required medical attention? And said dude made this public knowledge? got it.

  28. Paris Hilton Boyfriend River Viiperi Marlon Gobel Spring 2013 Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m getting a very angsty early-Buffy Angel vibe here. Sic ‘er, Angel!

  29. Paris Hilton Boyfriend River Viiperi Marlon Gobel Spring 2013 Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Oooh. Now I’m getting an Upper Paleolithic vibe. Club ‘er, Cro-Magnon Man!

  30. al

    I could say a lot but I don’t think the mod will let it through……….what’s with that %^&hair?

  31. Paris Hilton Boyfriend River Viiperi Marlon Gobel Spring 2013 Fashion Show
    amy
    Commented on this photo:

    Shoosh!

  32. Ben

    Only the biggest douchebag in the world would date paris Hilton. Eww.

  33. Drop Kick

    Wait, Ricky Martin is dating Paris Hilton?

  34. Burt

    She’s starting to look like a drag queen.

    • Drop Kick

      So is the chick she’s with. And by chick I mean the dude. Or do I? So confusing. Like a Rubik’s Cube with only 1 color. The color of skank.

  35. Evil Overlord

    If the “victim” was a real man he would have kicked that little p*ssy’s a*s if for nothing else that goofy a*s haircut!

  36. Paris Hilton Boyfriend River Viiperi Marlon Gobel Spring 2013 Fashion Show
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    she is looking more and more like her mother

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