Paris Hilton is Pregnant

December 31st, 2010 // 135 Comments

Okay, before anybody panics, let’s run down the list:

Idiot sperm donor? Check.
Non-impaired uterus? …. Pass.
Protruding stomach? Check.
Bigger boobs? Check.
Fatter ass? Check.
Belly rubbing thing pregnant chicks always do? Double check.
Horsemen of the apocalypse descending from the heavens? I saw a squirrel. Count it.

Ah, Jesus. Hopefully I’m wrong, and not just because Paris Hilton might read this post and develop an unhealthy eating disorder that ultimately kills her. Nobody wants that to happen even though she’d be super totes skinny, you guys. Super totes. Like a real model.

Is she dead yet?

Photos: Splash News


  1. NotPreggers

    She could just be bloated from PMS. We’ll know for sure in a week or so.

  2. bitingontinfoil

    Haven’t you heard? Fat is the new thin..

    Think Christina.

  3. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    With all the people who read this site and feel the need to look and dress like a celebrity, how many eating disorders do you think you’re responsible for? I’d say at least couple thousand. God Bless you, sir!! A skinnier world is a prettier world.

  4. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    where is the lineup for the skull fucking to begin

  5. She’s probably malnourished; someone ought to tell her Valtrex and liquor are not part of a balanced breakfast.

  6. McFeely Smackup

    She’s not pregnant, she’s always had that beer belly gunt. It’s from her spine having an extra curve in it that normal people don’t. I’m serious, look at pics of the chick from the side, she is fucking deformed.

  7. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I believe she is just fat…Syphilis, HPV, gonnorhea.. they all scar your fallopian tubes therefore she is most likely sterile.

  8. pookiewookie

    I didnt think Pink was pregnant in the beginning so who knows? Its probably all those Christmas cookies. She was anorexic before so maybe shes trying to get over that by actually eating. Shes no where close to being fat yet.

  9. joe

    Can anyone say FUPA? Please dear Lord let this be FUPA.

  10. Matt

    She’s not pregnant. She’s just fat, you guys.

  11. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Oh Hell No
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one chic that doesn’t need to procreate…..

  12. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit how can this spoiled vapid bitch gain weight over the holidays & look hotter because of it?
    This is the boyfriend of the moment? Good luck asshole. I hope you put triplets up in there.

  13. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not pregnant. Way to be an asshole.

  14. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally! A real advertisement for Carl’s Jr.

  15. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    If she is pregnant, hopefully she’ll grow an ass.

  16. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She actually looks much much better with a little weight on her frame. Her face more filled out keeps the nose from looking so odd also. But geez I hope its just extra McDonalds and not a PARISite jr….!!

  17. LEB

    Uh, NO, that’s called having a fat day. Every female on the planet gets them now and then, including Twiggy here.

  18. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    I'm on my period
    Commented on this photo:

    My stomach looks like this all the fucking time. Fuck you asshole.

    • vagina

      Why so angry? are you paris hilton

      • gaby

        WTF why would you think that

      • BanDit82Baby

        Like celebutards (any Kardshian, “Reality” TV stars) don’t cruise the sites to see who’s talking after they scream to the tops of their lungs for attention (i.e crotch shots, nip slips, going out for fuckin sushi @
        Midnite, or in Britney’s case, Wal-mart) Get legit you insipid bitch and stop showlng off that train-wreck body, you have no ass and I know whether to feed you an apple or brush ur hair and put you in ur stable. #SICKMARE

  19. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    I'd believe anything but this
    Commented on this photo:

    The day Skank-Whore Paris is knocked up is when Bill Clinton sleeps with Hillary! There are a lot of pure idiots(Obama, etc) but none would plant any seed in this Ho. The max this could ever be, she seriously swallowed a watermelon seed! Even a chimpanzee wouldn’t claim it to be his. Please think how the world would be WITH ANOTHER DUMB, UNEDUCATED, WORTYHLESS AS TITS-ON-A-BOAR, BORING, SLEAZY run-off of P Hilton. ELTON JOHN would get all preggy before the no-good whore!!!

  20. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    lol wut?
    Commented on this photo:

    holy shit guys i think i’m pregnant too. I ALSO HAVE A FLAT STOMACH AND TINY BOOBS SHIT SHIT FUCK

  21. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    u guyz, trust me, im a 22 year old who got pregnant at 19…shes probably pregnant cuz tht is definetely a pregnant tummy.

    plus think about it, this is paris hilton, will she rly ever eat enough for her tummy 2 look like tht?!

  22. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh god, Andri. The stupidity of your comment is just…mind numbing. Just because you got pregnant at 19 doesn’t make you an authority on who is and is not pregnant. Paris was probably just bloated when this was taken. Not ALL stomachs are PERFECTLY FLAT, you morons. Geez.

  23. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    joku vaan
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe she is tired about crazy Hollywood style? She looks now more sexy and not super skinny like some supermodel which it does not health at all. And those people who complain about this message, they are just brainwashed by the media etc..

  24. Themostsuperficial

    Ok her stomach is sticking out farther than her breasts, but I’m glad ol Paris never succumbed to SoCal silicone breasts pressure

  25. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay. All of Paris is fatter, especially the cottage cheese on the back of her thighs ( which is probably the explanation why that little pooch in the front that every woman has is bigger.) Her ass still looks reasonably the same though. And I don’t see her doing any sort of pregnancy belly rub.

  26. Tony Montoya

    You’re really reaching with the pregnancy prediction. She was busted for cocaine possession a few months ago. I am sure she has to submit to court ordered drug testing per most probation guidelines. It is nothing more than the ‘COKE BLOAT’ as they call it. You quit and your metabolism is so f’ed up it takes literally a year or so to get your metabolism back to normal. Paris will probably gain wait from just looking at food. All you coke heads that love how skinny you are on the drug will blow up like a hot air balloon when you stop. Easy come easy go.

  27. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy crap she is actuallly really hot now. Her body looks amazing.

  28. J-Stu

    Damn. I was hoping the Anti-Christ wouldn’t be born while I was still alive. I guess I do still have time to kill myself before it arrives.

  29. amomof3

    A fat stomach is usually a roll or soft pudgy looking stomach, hers looks quite firm has a rounder shape to it. Because she is so thin and has no muscle (abs in peticular), pregnancies will show just like that also especially if you are that thin to begin with. Bloating isn’t that shape. Would love for it not to be true, but have the self proclaimed “stars” ever really cared about saving society from their deprave behavior and morals???? Uhhhhh NO!!!
    She just wants the attention and this is probably the easiest way for the skank to get it!!
    What will she call it anyhow? Coke Hilton, Weed Hilton, Blow Hilton!!! or maybe one of these other names for the stuff hehehe flake, candy, pepsi,
    coca puffs, “C”, Charlie, toot, gold dust, snow or maybe they will find some other messed up way of torturing the child for life!!!

  30. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:


  31. Paris Hilton Pregnant Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She is a dirty slut whos a plastic piece of shit and has had so much plastic surgery shes a dirty bitch who will fuck anyone going down the street…look at the state of her lips in every photo i see she has different lips ! discusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! slut slut slut she is a fcuking dicrass to her family

  32. Mike

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