Paris Hilton Wants To Be a DJ Now

Now that she’s officially become ratings poison on top of the kiss of death to any film she somehow stars in, Paris Hilton quickly needs to find a new career that requires minimal effort and absolutely zero talent. Something that’s as simple as, oh I dunno, say pressing play on iTunes then pretending you’re listening to giant headphones. TMZ reports:

Paris Hilton is training her ass off … working with some of the BIGGEST DJs on Earth … in a brand new quest to become the most POWERFUL female house music DJ of all time … TMZ has learned.
Sources close to P tell TMZ … Hilton has been traveling the world to shadow some super-famous DJs to get some guidance for her upcoming house music album.
We’re told Hilton has become pretty tight with HUGE names like Afrojack and Deadmau5 — and even plans to appear on stage with Deadmau5 in the near future.

TRAINER: Press play, Paris.
PARIS: I can’t… It’s too hard!
TRAINER: Press. Play.
PARIS: I’ll just fail like I do at everything else!
TRAINER: *grabs her by the shoulders* PRESS. PLAY!!
PARIS: *sobs* Okay, okay… *presses play*
TRAINER: There. Now you have accomplished the impossible.
PARIS: I can’t believe I had it in me! What do we do next?
TRAINER: Do next? I don’t get it.
PARIS: What does a DJ do after she presses play?
TRAINER: Nothing.
PARIS: Nothing?
TRAINER: Nothing.
PARIS: At last I have found my calling…

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet