There was a time when Paris Hilton was the top pseudo-celebrity on the planet, but that was before Kim Kardashian stepped on her neck and let Ray J pee on her. Now, Paris is reduced to showing up for staged photo shoots at Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch which is some Shauna Sand shit along with putting children at risk. Then again, maybe this is what parents in California need to start vaccinating their little brats.
“Ma’am, I’m afraid your son has penis measles. Which is odd considering the last known strain was in 1926.”
“Well, you see his father and I don’t believe in vaccinations, but then Paris Hilton showed up at the pumpkin-”
“Whoa! Wait. You didn’t get this kid vaccinated? Jesus. Police! Arrest this woman. Her son will be raised by wolves now, it’s safer that way. I’m a doctor.”