Paris Hilton’s Been Reduced To Posing For Pumpkin Patch Photos, Peter Piper

October 21st, 2013 // 39 Comments
Previously In Whoring
Kim Kardashian Butt Instagram Swimsuit Post-Pregnancy
We Get It, Kim, Your Ass Is Huge Read More »

There was a time when Paris Hilton was the top pseudo-celebrity on the planet, but that was before Kim Kardashian stepped on her neck and let Ray J pee on her. Now, Paris is reduced to showing up for staged photo shoots at Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch which is some Shauna Sand shit along with putting children at risk. Then again, maybe this is what parents in California need to start vaccinating their little brats.

“Ma’am, I’m afraid your son has penis measles. Which is odd considering the last known strain was in 1926.”
“Well, you see his father and I don’t believe in vaccinations, but then Paris Hilton showed up at the pumpkin-”
“Whoa! Wait. You didn’t get this kid vaccinated? Jesus. Police! Arrest this woman. Her son will be raised by wolves now, it’s safer that way. I’m a doctor.”

Photos: FameFlynet, Splash News

superficial

  1. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Sara
    Commented on this photo:

    The sign right behind her carries the universal symbol for “don’t pass herpes to the pumpkins”…..when did she become too good for the rules?

    • The sign indicates that near the pumpkin patch, Paris’ herpes viruses, which resemble large eels, have been known to jump on a man’s back and devour him whole.

  2. nice knees, granny. been on them much?

  3. cc

    Paris Hilton…the pumpkin patch version of potato blight.

  4. I can see why you wouldn’t want holes poked in your merchandise, but is Wolverine really showing up to pumpkin patches so much that we need signs now?

  5. Peter Piper picked a peck of papillomavirus…

  6. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Jessie
    Commented on this photo:

    The purses in the above picture cost about $10,000 total.

    I don’t have anything mean to say; I’m just really poor.

  7. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That one’s going up her snatch as soon as she’s in the SUV.

  8. I thought it was Courtney Stodden for a while there. You know what would help Paris make a comeback? A new sex tape with Farrah Abraham and Courtney Stodden!

    Try to get that image out your heads.

  9. Gary Grant

    It is weird I actually like her more the less she is heard from?

  10. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    No no. That’s the universal sign for Crabs incoming, maintain at least a seven pumpkin distance.

  11. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    A vapid vegetable poses with a vacuous vegetable. I’ll let you figure out which is which.

  12. dean

    filthy, racist, nazi, whore

  13. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Smadp
    Commented on this photo:

    Danger! Wolverine attacking pumpkins! Also, skank nearby.

  14. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh look, she brought along Nicole Richie.

  15. Kim

    She’s looking for a new place to hide her drugs. TSA is wise to her old hiding spot.

  16. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    I count six big pumpkins, two little melons and one giant twat.

  17. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Paris was planning to stomp on the pumpkins but then she saw the sign.

  18. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s sad that the most interesting part of the picture is that she is still using a blackberry.

  19. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not usually a fan of her fashion choices, but I like the bag with Madonna’s picture on it.

  20. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    What a ripoff. 800 pictures of Paris Hilton and not one nip slip or “oops no panties” shot.

  21. Rob

    New props for her next porno?

  22. Honest to God, what the fuck is she going to do with a pumpkin? I can’t actually imagine her at her newspaper-covered kitchen table carving out a jack-o-lantern. She probably paid the butler to dispose of it the instant she got home. “Here’s a twenty. Make it disappear.”

  23. Also, there’s a special place in Hell for this “Mr. Bones” character.

  24. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    who?

  25. I had no intention of signing up but after reading the comments I had to. Funniest one-liners I’ve read all day.

  26. Paris looks pretty good in these pics. Too bad she is totally FUBAR.

  27. Paris Hilton Cleavage Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    She brought her TV remote?

  28. huh?what?

    Did she have her breasts done recently?

  29. ugh

    i suprised she hasnt had a baby yet

  30. Chilly

    Dear god, she’s gonna give those pumpkins rot.

Leave A Comment