Pamela Anderson retiring in five years

November 29th, 2007 // 69 Comments
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Pamela Anderson plans to retire in a few years. Her latest role has been magician’s assistant for Hans Klok “Beauty of Magic” show in Las Vegas. Pamela tells USA Today she’s content with her magic work and has no ambitions to return to acting:

“I get offers to do movies and TV all the time. I say no to everything. Drives my agent crazy,” she says, laughing. “But I’m lazy. I don’t want to work. I want to be with my kids (Brandon, 11, and Dylan, 9, with ex-husband Tommy Lee). So I just fly in from L.A., do a few days of shows and go back home.”
“Five more years of (T&A), and I’ll go back to Canada,” the British Columbia native says. “I’ve got some land. It’ll be time.”

What exactly is Pamela Anderson retiring from? She shows up to random places with her giant rack and, judging by these photos, tries to give heart attacks to the elderly obese. It’s pretty much a lifelong occupation. That’d be like me trying to retire from being so sexy. It’s goddamn impossible.

Photos: INFdaily.com
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Comments (69)

  1. Danielle | November 29, 2007 at 2:01 pm

    She should retire those soggy things inside her shirt first.

    Reply
  2. Cowgirl | November 29, 2007 at 2:01 pm

    I haven’t retired yet. I’m still here. In the number one spot?

    Reply
  3. Scooby Doo | November 29, 2007 at 2:02 pm

    Foiled again!

    Reply
  4. Robin Claire | November 29, 2007 at 2:04 pm

    Maybe she should have done this a long time ago.

    Reply
  5. jumpin_j | November 29, 2007 at 2:05 pm

    Could someone please a photo of her without makeup so I can get these nasty thoughts out of my head?

    Reply
  6. Chauncy Gardner | November 29, 2007 at 2:10 pm

    She might give up the $$$, but she’ll never stop being a lumpy, leather-upholstered semen vacuum.

    Reply
  7. dagnabbit | November 29, 2007 at 2:13 pm

    I hope she’s retiring from life and killing herself. She’s fucking worthless.

    Reply
  8. Malffy Hernandes | November 29, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    Five more years before she the clock strikes twelve and she turns back into a blow up doll. That’ll be a great day.

    Reply
  9. Mr. Truth | November 29, 2007 at 2:30 pm

    She should retire those tits already. I’ll take them ;)

    Reply
  10. redsonja1313 | November 29, 2007 at 2:31 pm

    this announcment is about 8 years too late !!!

    Reply
  11. Dorito man | November 29, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    It is becoming very apparent that she is not going to age gracefully. Too much too soon too fast is coming home to roost in a mixture of freaky desperation.

    Reply
  12. mixedmartialartvideos.com | November 29, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    time has caught up w/ her

    Reply
  13. the new superfish commenter | November 29, 2007 at 2:34 pm

    She still looks young and hot!

    Hayden doesn’t look like at least one parent was an alien!

    Jennifer Love Hewitt has a wonderful figure!

    Britney’s fat and retarded! (the one exception)

    Reply
  14. BigBoneDaddy | November 29, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    Hepatitis, anyone?

    Reply
  15. CL | November 29, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    Beauty is a rapidly depreciating commodity. What she had expired years ago. It’s a pity that she doesn’t have any talent to keep her career going.

    Reply
  16. Me | November 29, 2007 at 2:44 pm

    the ONLY job offers she gets are for porn. I can’t imagine anyone else WANTING to hire this walking herpes virus. She’s fug and fake and flat out gross. her agent is pissed because he’s there to earn money, and if she’s turning down those porn offers then said agent doesn’t get to make the mortgage payment.

    Reply
  17. Jimbo | November 29, 2007 at 2:45 pm

    Veggi, Here is the next topic. Not exactly Harrison Ford, but it is better than Britney or Paris, just barely..

    Reply
  18. p0nk | November 29, 2007 at 2:48 pm

    Rick Solomon wants her to settle down and be a stay-at-home whore.

    Reply
  19. veggi | November 29, 2007 at 2:49 pm

    Jimbo! Yeah, Pam- blah blah blah!..

    Reply
  20. FRIST!!! | November 29, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    Five more years of (T&A)? Tits and ass? Really? God she’s lame..

    I was going to say vain, but she didn’t say “Great T&A”, which is what I would have said because, yes, I am vain..

    Reply
  21. FRIST!!! | November 29, 2007 at 2:54 pm

    Alright, I’m going to lunch. Think I’ll go hang out at the pharmacy and see if I can talk old people into giving me their pills..

    Reply
  22. mafme | November 29, 2007 at 3:07 pm

    Retired from what?

    Reply
  23. The Opinionated Blogger | November 29, 2007 at 3:08 pm

    I completely agree. Honestly, what is she retiring from. Just a few years ago she retired from dating white trash. Now she is doing magic tricks. The funny thing is I didn’t even know she was doing magic tricks in Las Vegas. Nobody cares enough about her anymore to cover her news. But hey, she will always have Baywatch!

    Reply
  24. tp | November 29, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    Has she had the same hairstyle for the last 14 years?

    Reply
  25. Vince Lombardi | November 29, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    I knew someone with a face like hers… Mike Ditka.

    Reply
  26. zz | November 29, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    She’s old news

    But um, FISH. No story on Jennifer Love Hewitt being engaged? Just her looking “bad”?

    Reply
  27. top | November 29, 2007 at 3:15 pm

    zz, it’s a story when JLH is caught exposing the 30 lbs she put on below the waist, since she’s tried so hard to cover it up. She got engaged? Who the fuck cares about that. Somebody bought the cow. Literally.

    Reply
  28. zz | November 29, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Sorry “top” but I’d rather hear of Love’s engagement, rather than her “weight gain” I’m not the only to agree that is no baring on her, she still looks good.

    And before you lose your cool, I was just wondering why it hadn’t been mentioned. Goodness gracious.

    Reply
  29. feg | November 29, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    if the Joker had a sister she would look like Pam Anderson. that mug is creepy.
    her boobs look like there are actual plastic gallon milk containers in there. the shaping is all off.
    no one made a hepititus comment about the cut/scab on her left arm? shocking.

    Reply
  30. EuroNeckPain | November 29, 2007 at 3:26 pm

    A friend from Mauritania, ages ago, looked at her life size face on a magazine cover and said with an angry tone, “she is NOT pretty, look at her, thick features, totally fake hair, fake eyebrows, monstruous chest, ugly mouth”. I had to admit he was right when I saw a photo of her in her twenties. She was a very average looking girl. She is totally fabricated.
    Look at the first photo: she can “smile” (=show her full grill) with eyes wide open. Try to do that in front of a mirror. Impossible. That’s eerie.

    Reply
  31. LayDeeBug | November 29, 2007 at 3:27 pm

    Ugh, retire now, please. Your kids have enough money for college (I can’t believe I wrote that with a straight hand), you have enuf of everything. Get the implants taken out so we don’t have to see that ugly saggy skin flap in your cleaveage.

    Reply
  32. shallow val | November 29, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    5 – surpisingly, she looks so much better and younger with out all that fucking “I’m a rocker chick” make-up slathered on.

    Reply
  33. shallow val | November 29, 2007 at 3:31 pm

    I have never thought she was pretty. She has a nice body (not incliding the horrible fake jugs) but her face…….always hagsville.

    Reply
  34. shallow val | November 29, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    and, and, and, she MARRIED that fucking pig Solomon. She’s probably got her “OOPS sex video” in final production right now.

    “Oh, I can’t believe he did that. (snif snif) I thought he loved me (snort, honk)”

    Reply
  35. Chi | November 29, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    Good, maybe she will retire those inflated balloons already.

    Reply
  36. Me | November 29, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    zz, it’s probably not been mentioned because the one who posted the fat pics of JLH is probably too busy drooling over her, if ya know what I mean. sure he makes fun of her extra padding, but I guarantee you he’d hit it in a heartbeat if she offered…also, given that no pics of the author are ever shown, I have a sneaking suspicion that he is actually what he is always complaining about but brags to being otherwise.

    Reply
  37. shallow val | November 29, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    and, and, and, she MARRIED that fucking pig Solomon. She’s probably got her “OOPS sex video” in final production right now.

    “Oh, I can’t believe he did that. (snif snif) I thought he loved me (snort, honk)”

    Reply
  38. Fit & Happy | November 29, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    She will do fine as long as she stays out of the bright sun light because it makes her look horrible.

    Reply
  39. huh? | November 29, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    “given that no pics of the author are ever shown, I have a sneaking suspicion that he is actually what he is always complaining about but brags to being otherwise.”

    the site’s not called matchyourselftothestars.com

    and stop torturing english

    Reply
  40. Ript1&0 | November 29, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    I want to retire too. I haven’t really done anything, but I’ve had about enough.

    Reply
  41. MindRiot | November 29, 2007 at 3:53 pm

    She is a tired old waste of space. I liked her better before Oscar Goldman rebuilt her in a secret lab.

    Reply
  42. babyglyniss | November 29, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    shouldnt she retire now?

    Reply
  43. PatinNJ | November 29, 2007 at 6:46 pm

    That will be ten years too late. She has hit the wall, bounced off and slammed into it again.

    Reply
  44. Me | November 29, 2007 at 6:55 pm

    huh? wtf do you mean? are you an english professor? I doubt it if you can’t even understand what I wrote. try wrapping your brain around it a wee bit longer. Then, perhaps you shall understand what was intended.

    Reply
  45. The Real Scooby Doo | November 29, 2007 at 6:55 pm

    Has she ever been truly employed to retire? And hasn’t her work been what most people hope to retire doing – frolicking in bikinis all day on the beach and partying at night making sex tapes?

    People and their twisted sense of reality.

    Reply
  46. Janine | November 29, 2007 at 8:20 pm

    Her breasts look deformed and hard as rock. Do men seriously find breast implants sexy? This is what happens to them after a few years! Gross. I just don’t get it.

    Reply
  47. hejeer | November 29, 2007 at 9:59 pm

    But it got her a LOT of attention during her lat 20′s and early 30′s which she managed to turn into $$$.

    That is pretty much it, isn’t it?

    Reply
  48. AL | November 29, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    http://energyvampires.blogspot.com/

    She is a over inflated energy vampire!

    Reply
  49. cookie monsta | November 29, 2007 at 11:28 pm

    don’t care…..don’t care…..don’t care…..don’t care…..don’t care…..

    but do you really think she has got 5 years left in her? she’s so old and festering, if she was a car, she’d be a junked out wreck, with no parts re-usable…..

    Reply
  50. gerard Vandenberg | November 29, 2007 at 11:54 pm

    You don’t have plans for returning on the big screen. You mean: NOBODY(ha, ha, ha, hi, hi, ho, ho, ha, ha) is offering you any kind of job on the screen anymore. You just have to stay with the dutch-faggot-magician!!

    Reply

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