Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting married

July 18th, 2006 // 93 Comments
pamela-anderson-kid-rock-marry.jpg

Pamela Anderson posted on her official site today that she’s getting married to Kid Rock, writing:

Yes. I’m finally getting remarried…it’s been a whirlwind…spontaneous but well thought through. Feels like I’ve been stuck in a time warp. Not able to let go of MY family picture…it’s been sad and lonely and frustrating….I’ve raised my kids alone in hope of a miracle. Well my miracle came and went. And came back and came back because he knew that I’d wake up one day and realize that I was waiting for nothing. I’m moving on…I feel like I’m finally free….I’m in love. I’m happy….I see the light…sounds dramatic but it’s true…..I know some women can relate to this….My children are getting older. They know the truth and they are strong, smart kids. They love their Dad. They love their new Step Dad who they’ve known for years…time will pass. Wounds will heal. Some people may never grow up. Actions speak louder than words….watch!

Considering her last husband used to beat her and make out with other guys, the only way she could do any worse is if Kid Rock turns out be a polar bear wearing a human suit and eats her alive one day. I’ve…also decided…to take…writing lessons…from…Pamela Anderson…why use periods…when you can use…ellipsis?

superficial

  1. JoBOO

    FIRST!!

    ahahahahahaahahah

  2. Philip Ramirez

    second… again

  3. CoJo

    Well, that was quick – I had no idea they were even back together! I thought KR dumped her because of all the press attention – maybe he realized that now that she’s old and haggered and now looks like a 95 year old with breast implants, they won’t get AS much press as they did when they dated the first time and she was HOT!

  4. I don’t know which of them brings more diseases into that union. The only thing worse would be Paris Hilton marrying Tommy Lee.

  5. CoJo

    I wonder how her hepatitis is holding up?

  6. scorp69

    I give it no more than 5 months. When are these people ever going to learn…

  7. CoJo

    HILARIOUS! Ask and you shall recieve!
    Being the huge loser I am with 25 min. to spare before I can go home, I went on her site where, in regards to her birthday she actually appologises to her liver! “It was my birthday yesterday. So much champagne. Sorry liver. But special occasion.” I guess she really does have the HEP…

  8. theparanoir

    how do the ugliest guys always get her??

  9. well at least i know that kirstie alley will be eating more cookies than i will tonight

  10. cruzin333

    her fake breasts seem larger each time i see a new picture of her…

  11. Well, maybe she can at least use Tommy Lee’s Make Your Own Dildo Mold since she downgraded to the Kid.

    Tommy with make your own dildo kit half way down the page-

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com/article_sex_make_your_own_dildo.htm

  12. Mary45

    Well mayber they made a “movie” while they were celebrating her birthday in St. Tropez… “OH PAMMMM”

  13. CoJo

    #9 – You know that general idea that fat girls give better head, mostly because they have to…I think the same rule applies to ugly men

  14. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Pam could get any man she wanted, but she prefers the skinny pothead with greasy hair and bad musical taste.
    She’s retarted.

  15. 4th Horseman

    it warms my heart to see trash marrying trash…perhaps Hohan will find her soulmate one day, too.

  16. hopeless_screenwriter

    Definitely…ellipsis…overkill…

    Maybe she’ll write a book like Jenny Mac. and call it “My Brain is an Omitted Existence” because that is what an ellipsis is for her, ‘an ommitted thought for her pathetic cuntass air-and-silicon filled world’ stupid ass blonde cuntface. (Any ommitted part of speech that is understood… the omission is intentional…
    any blank space can also be filled with three asterisks (***) also known as a pause in speech… or an unfinished thought… ”

    However, we all use them from time to time, but not after every fucking sentence.

    She can justify using them though because her brain shuts off and than starts up again in five minute intervals… like …she started writing… that…like… 3 days ago… and she just finished it today… Duh… she could just write, duh, ya know after each sentence that would probably work too…

    I’d still fuck her though, because I happen to like stupid hot rich bitches. They are easy to Rob.

  17. Nikk The Templar

    EXCELLENT! Project Ultimate Strain of Hepatitis is in its final stages! The gov’t will be very pleased! Soon we will have the ultimate biological weapon. When this strain of Hep is combined with the potent strains of VD from Paris Hilton’s vagina….the world will bow before us.

  18. Lettusaurus

    pfft.. she has herpes, it won’t last

  19. What’s with the stream-of-consciousness?

  20. Mary45

    She has hepatitis C – no cure except a liver transplant. She looks pretty good for somebody who parties like/with a rock star.

  21. Justin Igger

    to bad his little midget friend died or he could of been the ring bearer

  22. Grobpilot

    Crap. I only clicked on this subject to see if Pam’s cans were hanging out again. Denied.

  23. ReallyNotOkay

    Wow, this marriage won’t last ver long…

  24. hopeless_screenwriter

    @21 Praz. Not stream-of-consciousness. More like lack of consciousness. Think of a cartoonist drawing a picture of her and the thought balloon over her head is A). empty, or B). filled with ellipses and emptiness.

    Pam having dinner with Kid Rock:

    Kid Rock: Would you like some more crayons princess?

    Pam: … … …

    Kid Rock: Did you take your salt pill today?

    Pam: … … …

    Kid Rick: How about your teaspoon of Sweet-n-low?

    Pam: … … …

    Kid Rock: Give me your credit card

    Pam: ***

  25. hopeless_screenwriter

    What else do you say about someone who lives on candy corn, crayons, and sweet-n-low?

  26. shankyouverymuch

    ellipsis…ellipsis is that what it’s called when you do the dot, dot, dot thing??? I’ve been doing that for years… No really, I have… I wonder if I can sue for some sort of royalties or something?

  27. francesfarmer

    She grew up a few hours away from me and I’ve seen some of her highschool pics and believe me she never looked like that, not just the boobs but the general facial structure changed right before she started on Baywatch but everyone just assumes she was naturally born that way. Kinda like how people forget that Angelina Jolie had major plastic surgery post Bone Collector: http://www.circuit-empire.com.lb/posters/bonecolg.jpg

  28. A little analyzing. According to Pammy, the engagement was “spontaneous, but well thought through…” Is that what you call it when Kid Rock collapses on top of you in a drug enduced, post-coital coma and mutters sweet nothings tinged with Old Milwaukee? “She raised her kids alone…” Right. We all know she has a platoon of nannies just like everyone else in H-Wood. These days a nanny is more of an accessory than a Stella McCartney handbag. And like the plethora of cocks she’s used and abused in the time being haven’t been father figures to those two effigies to 90120. Some crap about “Time healing all wounds…” Time may heal all wounds, Pammykins, but it won’t heal the Hep! Maybe these two will die on the wedding night when Kid Rock bites down on one of those basketballs Pam considers a tit and his head explodes, causing Pam’s other airbag to pop and leaving poor Pamela deflated (figuratively and literally).

  29. Jedi Kevin

    Writing…with…ellipsis…makes you…sound like…a cheap ass…William Shatner…impersonation….

  30. HollyJ

    that marriage will prob outlive her liver

  31. CruisingForCock

    HolisticWisdomcom, I don’t know what is about you but I always want to click your links. Maybe it’s the dildos or the blow job lessons.

    Kid Rock is a miracle? Weird, I always thought the miracle was that we knew his name.

  32. RichPort

    I hear Carmen Electra is free too… if he’s willing to tongue Dave “two fingers in the ass” Navarro first.

  33. It warms the cockles when trash marries trash. This marriage will totally last. Oh ya. Ya, and I did anal with a dinosaur today. And I saw a pig fly. And I got a call from Satan himself and seems hell did freeze over.

  34. CruisingForCock

    “Raising my kids alone”

    That fragment alone makes me want to punch her in the clit.

  35. Yummy hepatitis sandwich.

  36. Getitstraight

    @francesfarmer

    Angelina Jolie has not had surgery that was just a bad poster picture on that link you supplied, not that I care. And c’mon who still looks the same as they did in high school for fuck sake, that was years ago. Pam does dye her kids hair though FYI.

    Kid Rock and Pammy deserve each other they are both a pair of fucktard sluts.

  37. hopeless_screenwriter

    @30 Well said. Very well said. AAAAAAA++++++++. You have made my top ten. I will read your posts for now on. However, if I find out that you are a skinny 14 year old with braces you will make my top 3.

    @31 Funny, but you are not on my top ten.

    @33 I’m glad that you are a good sport about your menstrual cycle. I’m also flattered that you would consider me as another notch in your bedpost of ass-reaming. I feel honered. You are also on my top ten. However, if I find that out you are a skinny 14 year old with braces I will kick you in the fucking teeth, split you in half and ass rape you with a 2 foot petrified maple branch (until you’ve decided you’ve had enough) while whistling the theme from “The Andy Griffith Show”, because wouldn’t you just love to sink your teeth into one of Aunt B’s home-made pies?

    @17 omitted is spelled with 1 m you jack-ass. (ommitted) Buy a fucking dictionary or die slowly. Please don’t kill me.

  38. francesfarmer

    @38 It’s easy to not care when you’re wrong. Jolie has had breast implants, a nose job, cheek implants and her eye muscles raised to look more “cat like” Which would make sense why she’s the most beautiful woman in America right now, she’s spent a gazillion dollars on surgery that looks so good you can barely notice it, I mean she’s in a celebrity in America how naive can you get. And I’m pretty sure she got her top lip stuffed but I’m not too sure about that

    http://www.addict3d.org/img/1a4d5385e3bef42a.jpg

    http://www.cbsnews.com/images/2006/07/10/image15994b8f-79ec-4e8d-818d-8336b2b07447.jpg

  39. jane's eyre

    I would like to declare jihad on Pam’s silicone twin towers and fly some airplanes into them.

  40. jane's eyre

    @40 Those lips are some scary shit. I bet you can see them on Google Earth.

  41. Carol

    If could get past staring at her ginormous boobs then perhaps I could think of something to say…

  42. CruisingForCock

    @39

    Hopeless, I love you dude. I really do. And you should feel HONORED (got to be careful about spelling when you correct someone for making an error). Now, Uncle Rob was funny but violent sex/rape with 14 year olds is just wrong, wrong, wrong. Unless you are a 14 year old in which case, I’m a very bad girl.

  43. CruisingForCock

    One more thing, Francesfarmer. Maybe she has had some surgery. I have no idea. I do know that if you put a wig on her brother – it’s like the same person but with a dick.

    Seriously, maybe they just had the same doctor. I’m just saying.

    This would make more sense if I was Justin Igger.

  44. Roxyblonde451

    Well it keeps the disease from spreading to others. Heh. For a while at least. Until she gets a craving for fresh meat to infect.

  45. CruisingForCock

    I should add that while she looks like her brother, I would have so much lesbian sex with her but I would run and hide from James.

  46. Ellipses are awesome because they’re like three periods in one. And why make a bunch of short sentences when you can make a super run-on?

  47. bunnyhugger

    hopeless, my sweet:
    #17
    “She can justify using them though because her brain shuts off and than starts up again in five minute intervals.”
    perhaps you meant “THEN starts up again”
    #39 cruising caught the glaring one, but i think you mean you will be reading UNWASHED’s posts FROM now on.

    i love you, too, dude. i’m just raggin’ ya. i think this means we must add the manacles to our next session. and i WILL be bringing the whip!
    also, darlin’, re #17, you PROMISED no more uncle rob:

    “They are easy to Rob.”

    very sneaky, little one. maybe we can go a little easy on tonights whip…, uh, punishment.
    now. say “yes, mistress”.

    hee-hee-hee!
    one more and out comes the heavy stuff!
    : )

  48. bunnyhugger

    so i should expect you at exactly what time???

    i kid. some of the spelling and punctuation drive me batshit. like hitting a speedbump.

    as long as you’re not feeding the trolls, you’re okay in my book!
    -buns

  49. bunnyhugger

    shit.
    tonght’s, with an apostrophe.

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