Stephen Hawking’s On The New Pink Floyd Album

October 10th, 2014 // 10 Comments
Stephen Hawking

And right out of the gate. I didn’t even hesitate.

So BlackManUSA brought it to our attention that Stephen Hawking, world renowned physicist and unabashed pussyhound, is doing guest vocals on the new Pink Floyd album, and I shouldn’t have to tell you how we spent our entire morning. It’s a sickness. We need help.

Stephen Hawking In The Studio With Pink Floyd After The Jump

Good Morning, Ana Braga, And Other News

October 10th, 2014 // 3 Comments

- Robert Downey Jr. misses Sarah Jessica Parker, is clearly addicted to horse-racing. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ryan Gosling‘s child bears a name. [Dlisted]

- It’s A Talent Just Breathing In These Dresses [theCHIVE]

- Gwyneth Paltrow wants to be besties with Jennifer Lawrence now. [Fishwrapper]

- Red Bull didn’t literally give people wings, so it lost a $13 million lawsuit. Yup. [The Frisky]

- Mayhem Miller live-tweeted his police standoff. [WWTDD]

- Dwarf strippers are knocking up brides at bachelorette parties. There’s hope for the future. [Death and Taxes]

- Hel-the-fuck-lo, Yara Khmidan. [Popoholic]

- Anne Hathaway posing “topless.” [tooFab]

- More Helen Flanagan Amazingness [Hollywood Tuna]

- Sara Malakul is naked. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Jan Hooks Died (1957 – 2014)

October 10th, 2014 // 39 Comments
Jan Hooks

Growing up, we didn’t have cable until I was 12 or 13 which would’ve been around 1992-93. I remember geeking out every time we went to my grandparent’s house because they could afford it and I’d watch Nickelodeon for fucking hours. Anyway, with both my parents working this left me with unfettered access to Comedy Central, a burgeoning new channel that for years was nothing but SNL reruns, The Kids In The Hall and Mystery Science Theater 3000 which I devoured the shit out of. And thanks to that, I saw some classic comedians perform like SNL veteran Jan Hooks who died yesterday at 57. So this post is a moment for her, and a thanks for playing a part in my developing years becoming a wiseass (underneath celebrity boobs).

Rest in Peace.

Jan Hooks In ‘Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure’ After The Jump

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 10.9.14

October 9th, 2014 // 333 Comments

Welcome to Thurday’s The Crap We Missed where I’ve once again lead the gallery with Emily Ratajkowski, which you wouldn’t judge if you’ve also contemplated murdering someone with salad dressing (we’re talking laughing out loud at the though of a death rattle produced by drowning someone in creamy Italian) because they happened to be the fiftieth customer that day to ask about the list of dressings that every goddamned restaurant in the world has, you have no clue what I’ll do to keep this job.

Let London mayor Boris Johnson drive me around while pointing a loaded gun at my face, you say? *tosses him keys, spins revolver* Let’s dance,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Shonda Rhimes Doesn’t Put Up With ‘Heigls’

October 9th, 2014 // 18 Comments
She Can't Hurt You Now
Katherine Heigl Resting Bitchface NBC Universal Summer TCA Tour
Ask Her How Difficult She Is Read More »

In case you’re not sure how deeply and openly Hollywood hates Katherine Heigl, or simply enjoy a reminder to lift your spirits like I do, here’s Scandal creator Shonda Rhimes telling The Hollywood Reporter the lessons she’s learned from working on Grey’s Anatomy:

By all accounts, Rhimes runs a tighter ship today.
Although her perfectionist tendencies coupled with Scandal‘s breakneck story pace can wreak havoc on deadlines — “We’re always behind,” she admits — the operation runs smoothly and the cast is tight-knit. “There are no Heigls in this situation,” she says, choosing her words carefully. She adds later of her “no assholes” policy: “I don’t put up with bullshit or nasty people. I don’t have time for it.”

I’ve honestly never watched a single episode of Shonda Rhimes shows because they don’t have superheroes in them going PEW PEW PEW, but after today, I promise to put at least one of them in my Netflix queue and think about watching it one day. That’s literally my highest honor, and I don’t just hand it out lightly. *looks at queue, notices Once Upon A Time* Or I do all the time because I’m a whore. Abandon post!

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Photo: Getty

Turn Kylie Jenner Into A Mini-Kim, Why Not?

October 9th, 2014 // 42 Comments

Because every mother should carve their youngest daughter into an exact replica of their most profitable one for future sex tape sales, here’s Kylie Jenner showing off her new collagen lips on top of whatever the hell else is being done to her face. In the meantime, how isn’t PETA all over this? Clearly these people are testing this shit on Khloe first, or does that only count when it’s cute, little bunnies and not the noble guardian of the forest? Who else is going to keep the Wendigo at bay? The duck-billed platypus? They’re all assholes.

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Photos: Instagram

Amanda Bynes Caught Shoplifiting Twice In One Day

October 9th, 2014 // 21 Comments
Nothing Alarming Here
Amanda Bynes Possible Engagement Ring
'There's A Microchip In My Head' Read More »

So the first time Amanda Bynes was caught shoplifting yesterday, it could’ve been an honest mistake because she’s crazy and easily distracted. Except not even a few hours later, she got caught again only this time because she doesn’t think she has to pay for goods and services which also checks out because have I mentioned crazy? TMZ reports:

According to our sources, employees at Pookie & Sebastian began following Bynes around the store because she was acting suspicious. We’re told they didn’t recognize it was Amanda, and just thought she was a “half-naked, homeless crackhead.”
Customers tell us Bynes was dancing and muttering about plastic surgery — but eventually she tried to bolt with a shirt stuffed between her arms. When an employee stopped her and asked if she was going to pay, Amanda said … “Do I really have to buy this?”
The answer, of course, was yes — and we’re told Bynes was actually cooperative … whipping out a credit card to cover the $128.

And, so, with a full day’s shopping under her belt, Amanda Bynes retired to Twitter for a quiet evening of threatening to sue magazines for printing the words she’s said to them. Unless, of course, they agree to run her wedding photos when she marries some 19-year-old kid she met at a bait shop. She’ll start the bidding at one government microchip remover. More »

Rita Ora’s Butt Isn’t Stephen Collins

October 9th, 2014 // 13 Comments

Yesterday, Hilary Duff‘s butt took our minds off the Stephen Collins god-awfulness, so today it’s Rita Ora‘s which isn’t quite as awesome, but I’m pretty sure it’s never said it wants to fellate a baby, so just shut up and look at it. Everything is happy. We’re in the happy place…

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Photos: INFphoto, Splash News, Xposure/AKM-GSI