Michelle Lewin Has A Butt, Too, And Other News

November 14th, 2014 // 19 Comments

- Mila Kunis does not have post-partum depression. Don’t be assholes. [Lainey Gossip]

- Why does Jennifer Aniston have one satin-wrapped tit out? [Dlisted]

- Congratulations, Kylie Jenner, you look like the oldest Kardashian now. [Fishwrapper]

- Kim Kardashian‘s ass is a Keurig now. [theCHIVE]

- Taylor Swift took Amanda Seyfried to her first basketball game. She was not a fan. [The Frisky]

- Emily Ratajkowski‘s in lingerie. [WWTDD]

- Chrissy Teigen‘s underboob that I forgot to post. [The Superficial]

- Apparently Chelsea Handler draws the line at showing vaj. [Death and Taxes]

- Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio are still hot as hell. [Popoholic]

- What’s up, Stella Maxwell? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Nicole Trunfio only whips her boob out under chandeliers. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 11.13.14

November 13th, 2014 // 324 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the closest Josh Hutcherson is ever going to get to Jennifer Lawrence‘s O-Face and Bill Cosby looking like he’s passed out, so go ahead and make more rape jokes, or you know, accuse his accusers of being opportunistic, conspiratorial sluts who couldn’t possibly have been convinced to take hush money by veteran attorneys who know from experience that trying to bring a criminal rape case against Bill fucking Cosby of all people was an exercise in futility. *exhales, passes out*

*wakes up with head on keyboard* KIM KARDASHIAN‘S GIANT NAKED ASS AND TITS WHA?! Did I say something?

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News

Amanda Bynes Was Never Homeless, Let’s Stop Believing Her Shit

November 13th, 2014 // 23 Comments
Amanda Bynes Purple Hair
'You Can Live With Me!'
Heidi Montag Bikini
Said The Giant Balloon Tit Lady Read More »

After being photographed sleeping inside a mall, it’s just been assumed that Amanda Bynes is homeless because her parents have a conservatorship over her finances. Plus Heidi Montag‘s huge cartoon tits offered her a place to stay, and it seemed like a good idea to believe them and give them my social security number. Anyway, turns out Amanda Bynes isn’t homeless, and her parents have been paying for an apartment this whole time, but she just doesn’t like it. Which might have to do with the fact she’s been trashing the shit out of it. TMZ reports: More »

Jennifer Lawrence Can’t Take More Naked Pictures If You Kill Her, People

November 13th, 2014 // 9 Comments

Here’s Jennifer Lawrence outside The Late Show with David Letterman where later that night, she’d walk over to sign some fan’s autographs only to have them kick down a metal barrier, sending her fleeing to her car. And if you think I’m going to try and pin this on the fuckers at 4chan who hacked her Wikipedia page after she called The Fappening a sex crime, don’t be ridiculous. This shit required physical activity, direct human contact, and exposure to outdoor elements. Big Bird’s a more likely suspect. — And lives in New York. Hear me out…

Jennifer Lawrence Runs From Fans Outside Letterman After The Jump

Katy Perry’s Boyfriend Wants To Crowdfund A Booty Onto Taylor Swift

November 13th, 2014 // 57 Comments

Despite promising myself an ass hiatus after yesterday’s 2014 Buttella Festival, I still have precious SEO to milk into my mouth, so here’s Katy Perry‘s boyfriend publicly insulting the spot where Taylor Swift‘s butt should be:

As for why Diplo would do something like this, Katy Perry has big breasts and hates Taylor Swift, so it’s a miracle he didn’t murder her like a good boyfriend would’ve by now. (Call me.) In the meantime, Lorde has apparently come to Taylor’s defense with a comeback the Internet can’t trip over itself fast enough to praise: More »

Mama June: ‘Pumpkin’s Father Is A Different Child Molester, Alright?’

November 13th, 2014 // 20 Comments
Mama June Shannon
Mother of The Year
Mama June Shannon Chet Weird Science
The Mama June Shit Is Still Getting Worse Read More »

I’m going to be completely honest here. After yesterday’s Kim Kardashian Naked FUPA Emporium, I actually miss these simple country folks, and their horrifying shit-pit of codependency filled with child molesters. It’s practically quaint. But enough about why I have tears in my ears, here’s Mama June explaining to Entertainment Tonight why Mark McDaniel, the man who molested her daughter Anna Cardwell when she was only eight, has really been around her family which she claims has only been two times. And, no, it’s not because he’s Pumpkin‘s real father. That’s a different child molester, alright? You guys make such a big deal out of nothing.

Shannon also revealed for the first time her claim that Pumpkin’s biological father is also the father of her 18-year-old daughter Jessica [Chubbs]. His name is Michael Anthony Ford, he is a convicted sex offender who served time for sexual exploitation of minors after being caught on To Catch a Predator in 2005.
“Jessica and Pumpkin have the same dad, but Jessica’s dad has had nothing to do with her over the years,” Shannon said. “So, why the hell would I open up that can of worms until today? I lied to my family and told them it was somebody else.”
As for whether Mama June understands why people were so upset over her being seen with McDaniel, she says, “I understand that… and honestly it’s not like I’m seeing him everyday, I promise… I wanted to be able to give one of my other daughters closure and now Pumpkin is happy, that piece of our life is over.”

So let’s pull this bullshit apart piece by piece: More »

Good Morning, Colleen Shannon, And Other News

November 13th, 2014 // 7 Comments

- Maybe Joaquin Phoenix could’ve handled being in the Marvel machine. [Lainey Gossip]

- Leonardo DiCaprio‘s birthday party was 80% models. Of course. [Dlisted]

- Niecy Nash knows the secret to a happy marriage and it’s blowjays. Constant blowjays. [Fishwrapper]

- Why Would You Ever Get Out of Bed? [theCHIVE]

- Naya Rivera did not care for Kim Kardashian‘s butt. [The Frisky]

- Vladimir Putin‘s coming for your wife, son. [WWTDD]

- Meanwhile back in Mother Russia, women are shitting themselves mid-twerk. [Death and Taxes]

- And Olivia Wilde snapped back from having a baby. [Popoholic]

- What’s up, Nadine Leopold? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Alyssa Barbara is from Canada and has big breasts. These are facts. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Kim Kardashian’s Vagina Is Naked Now

November 12th, 2014 // 93 Comments

Apparently her naked ass wasn’t enough to #BreakTheInternet, so here’s Kim Kardashian going full frontal for Paper where I’m guess they’re hoping her FUPA will get the job done even though we already saw Kate Upton‘s and with a baseball player’s semen on it. Does Kim Kardashian’s FUPA have a baseball player’s semen on it? These are things the Internet needs to know before it just lets somebody break it. It’s not a whore, Kim.

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Photos: Jean-Paul Goude / Paper