A little over two weeks ago, Chris Evans looked like this while attending a GLAAD event with his gay brother Scott. And now here he is on the set of Captain America: The Winter Soldier yesterday looking fucking gigantic, so let’s keep pushing that message to the kids:
“Hey, Captain America, how’d you get those muscles?”
As for what’s happening in this scene, it’s clearly the part where Scarlett Johansson‘s Black Widow walks over to a Lamborghini in tight jeans and Cap goes, “So everyone knows I have super-strength and was frozen for 80 years just as I was about to lose my virginity, right? I feel like I should point that out for no particular reason. AHAHAHAHA!” (See? He’s laughing.)
Photos: Splash News
Kanye West looks like he’s at a funeral every time he has to walk into another paparazzi trap set up by Kim Kardashian, so clearly that means he’s a homosexual who fucks men in the anus, is what she’s starting to think now. InTouch Weekly via Gossip Cop:
According to the mag, Kardashian’s first Met Gala experience was a “nightmare” because “some online commenters” speculated that her boyfriend is “in a romantic relationship with the man who designed her controversial dress, Givenchy creative director Riccardo Tisci.”
A so-called “friend” tells the tab, “Kim freaked out. If it turns out Kanye is involved with Riccardo, she will be utterly embarrassed — more so than she’s ever been in her life.”
In Touch writes, “There are some facts Kim can’t deny,” noting, “Kanye has spent her entire pregnancy living close to Riccardo in the French capital… And Riccardo recently purchased an apartment less than half a mile from Kanye’s in NYC’s Soho neighborhood.”
“Kanye is obsessed with Riccardo,” reveals another supposed “insider” for the rag, who adds, “They have a very deep bond.”
When asked to explain how Kanye loved Kim’s sex tape so much he heterosexually inserted a baby into her, Kris Jenner assumed her true form as a seven-headed hydra and hissed out of each head, “YOU VISIBLY LOVE BEING WITH MY DAUGHTER OR YOU’RE QUEEEEER. QUEEEEER, I SAY. A DEVOURER OF COCKSSSSSSSssssss…” *cheats on Bruce Jenner with Godzilla*
Photos: Fame/Flynet, INF, Pacific Coast News
Because the narrative has to be that her plan worked, here’s Farrah Abraham telling Hollywood Life that she’s moving to LA now to pursue tons of reality show offers, you guys. And, of course, she’s bringing her daughter Sophia because she’s a super-important part of her life and not because if these talks are even true – which they’re not – they’re going to want to chronicle how absolutely little chance this kid has now. Haha! Who even thinks like that?
“I think for sure moving to Los Angeles is on the cards right now, because I’ve been here every week. Its better that Sophia and I are together more instead of separate because [the distance] is getting to be a lot.”
Farrah speaks wise words, and she said she will be including Sophia in her new reality show.
“There are a lot of meetings for a spin off show with me right now, so I just need to see what I like. I have had other leads in the past when I got out of my contract with MTV, but I haven’t found anything I agree with yet but when the time is right I’ll be OK with that.
“Sophia will of course be in it. My daughter is part of my life; she is going to be involved.”
In reality, Farrah’s only career move at this point is more porn and the word going around is she already fucked that up with her little pregnancy stunt because now no male porn stars want to work with her. Then again, that still leaves lesbian porn on the table which probably explains why she’s kissing Riley Jensen up top. I thought she was just sucking the soul out of another human like the time she killed Sophia’s father. Oh, I’m sorry, we’re all supposed to say “car crash.” He died in a “car crash.”
Photos: Pacific Coast News
It’s been a while since we’ve posted about how ridiculous LeAnn Rimes‘ life is, so here’s a story about her buying Twitter-bots to follow her because it’s not like she can perform anymore and gain new fans. Radar Online reports:
Not only has LeAnn acquired more than 100,000 new followers in the last month, but it appears most of her numbers were gained all within a one or two day span!
In screen grabs obtained by Radar, LeAnn had 456,600 followers on April 17 and as of Tuesday, May 14 she registers at 561,793.
A website specializing in social media statistics and metrics, Socialbakers, charts celebrities and it’s clear in the graph below that LeAnn’s twitter followers spiked dramatically between May 2 and May 3.
As much as I hate to bring this person up as an example, Farrah Abraham has 200,000 more Twitter followers than LeAnn which I genuinely believe she earned without buying bots because I understand the Internet and its porn nougat center. And all Farrah had to do was have hardcore anal sex in a professional adult film. Not that I’m suggesting LeAnn Rimes do the same, but it would let her hang her head high at the country club the next time she’s bragging about having more Twitter followers than Brandi Glanville. Then again, it would probably immediately devolve into scat porn and somehow I’d end up seeing a clip, so ignore every single word I just said here. Pay no attention to that man making dick jokes behind the curtain!
Photos: DOBN/AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INF Daily
Posted by Photo Boy
- James Franco shit on one of his movies again, except not literally and/or at MOMA this time. [Lainey Gossip]
- Zoe Saldana is naked, stupid. [Dlisted]
- Unofficial Chive meet-ups that in no way lead to unplanned pregnancies. [theCHIVE]
- Vin Diesel single-handedly made Facebook what it is today. [tooFab]
- Remember when Gerard Butler was a vampire in Dracula 2000? AHAHAHA [BuzzFeed]
- Jessica Stam in lingerie, anyone? [Popoholic]
- The Howe Twins are the new Shannon twins and wow, now that I type that do I realize how sad that is for them. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Mature artiste Miley Cyrus pantsed herself for Twitter. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- GOOP suffers, you guys. She suffers so much. [Amy Grindhouse]
- So, Kristen Stewart‘s mom’s neighbor is Team Jacob? SCANDALOUS! [FilmDrunk]
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Photos: Splash News
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’ve failed in my effort to eliminate the random boobs from this thing with the above pic, but I felt you should know that Aubrey O’Day is still alive, and just barely covering her rent generator again. We’ve also got the return of Kris Humphries‘ second most awful ex, Elsa Pataky, who, despite whatever the fuck is happening in this pic, will always be the better Hemsworth in-law, and finally, it’s time for one of those Anna Faris is a time-traveling vampire pics.
Ditto for James Spader, you guys aren’t fooling anyone,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INF Daily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN