Let’s Call Kim And Kanye’s Handmaid “Ofye”

Kanye West is renting a surrogate uterus to house his next baby. She’s not allowed to handle cat litter, eat sushi, or speak freely amongst the other handmaids. More »


Daniel Day-Lewis Is Quitting Acting Because Everyone Else Sucks

This is why we can’t have nice things… More »


Mattel’s New Ken Doll Has A Man Bun And Is Looking For Barista Work

Crippling debt, delusions of creative grandeur, and disappointed parents back in Ohio not included! More »


I’m Sure Rob Kardashian Is Just At Blac Chyna’s House To Eat Her Food

What do you mean, “he’s been there since last week”? You don’t think he’s stupid enough to get back togeth- … oh shit … More »


Annie Ilonzeh and Claudia Jordan Doing Bikini Things and More News

Also Joe Alwyn’s parents think that Taylor Swift is going to flush him down a loo of sorrow (that’s how English people talk, right?), los hermanos Hanson are talkin shit about Justin Bieber, and MORE superficial news! More »


Kim Kardashian Is Selling Her Own Fidget Spinners

People are buying them, too… a lot of them… please murder me… More »


Miley Got Her Brother Fired, Ya’ll – Oh My Lord!

Braison Cyrus had his first modeling gig with Dolce & Gabbana and everything was going smoothly until Miley took to Instagram to flex on Stefan Gabbana… Talking shit to a superstar fashion designer? Bad idea… More »


Good Morning! Caitlyn Jenner Said Something Stupid Again!

Jenner was doing a tight 5 at the College Republicans’ National Convention (AKA the seersucker and Sperry pride parade) when she decided to throw a “liberals can’t even shoot straight” joke about Scalise… yeesh. More »


Jeana Turner Doing Bikini Things and More News

Also Jada Pinkett Smith is smearing the credibility of the new 2Pac movie, some exec at Discovery Channel was so high they greenlit a Michael Phelps race against a great white shark for Shark Week, and more superficial news… More »


Johnny Manzeil’s Fiancee’s Buttfloss Gets Its Own Post

Sure, Bre Tiesi may be using Johnny “Canadian football backup” Manziel to jumpstart her celebrity, but you can’t hold that against her. More »


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