After making comments about Taylor Swift performing at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, model Jessica Hart found herself fired because apparently this seemed like a nicer excuse than, “Ew, you’re 27.” Page Six reports:
Asked at the afterparty at Tao if the pop star could “pull it off” as a lingerie model, Hart told WWD: “No… God bless her heart. I think she’s great… But I don’t know, to me, she didn’t fit.”
Five days later, Hart — who, unlike Miranda Kerr and Karlie Kloss, is not one of the company’s elite “supermodels” — tried to make amends, telling Us Weekly, “I adore Taylor Swift and I was so excited to be with her at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show… She is a true rock star and she absolutely killed it the other night.”
But the damage was done. Sources say execs at Victoria’s Secret are furious.
In Jessica Hart’s defense, what the hell was Taylor Swift doing there in the first place? Yes, she has an attractively thin body, but she’s also catty as shit and doesn’t put out. Because here’s what’s not happening when men go out shopping for lingerie: “Excuse me, which ones are endorsed by prudes with tight bodies who’ll sing songs about your penis after you break up with them?” Okay, one time I did that, but you get my point.
Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN
Despite a busy schedule of taking selfies of her vadge, Lindsay Lohan somehow found time to threaten to sue the makers of Grand Theft Auto V for allegedly using her likeness without permission. A claim that makes no fucking sense to anyone who’s played the game. TMZ reports:
So the question … did ‘GTAV’ really use Lindsay. Here’s the evidence:
— The video game cover shows a woman holding a cellphone who looks Lindsay-ish. There’s been debate over whether it looks more like Kate Upton or Shelby Welinder.
— Part of the game features a mission where a Lindsay Lohan look-alike asks the player to take her home and escape the paparazzi.
— Another part of the game shows another Lindsay-like character at a hotel resembling the Chateau Marmont hotel in West Hollywood — a place Lindsay not only frequents but once lived at — and the mission is to photograph her having sex on camera.
Let me just shoot all this shit down: More »
- Pube Pull: The Movie started filming before someone else quits. [Lainey Gossip]
- Apparently Paul Walker quietly pulled a Doug Hutchison. [The Frisky]
- Barbara Walters is a goddamn Troll Jedi. [Dlisted]
- An Arizona Chivette With Level 5 Blouse Bursting [theCHIVE]
- Ethan Hawke basically just announced he’ll cheat on his current wife soon. [Fishwrapper]
- Haha! Remember Devon Sawa? [tooFab]
- That Thanksgiving notes on a plane horseshit was a hoax. [BuzzFeed]
- Hello, Tanya Mityushina. [Popoholic]
- Had Sarah Palin just used these instead of writing a book I would’ve been on board. [Hollywood Tuna]
- What It’s Like To Attend A ‘Star Wars’ Open Casting Call [FilmDrunk]
- Kelly Brook made a thankfully penis-free video for Love magazine. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
THE SUPERFICIAL | About • Facebook • Twitter
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you after I took four days doing absolutely nothing while Fish waged war with a slow girl from Alaska or something. Shit was long. As for today’s socially acceptable bullying (NOBODY KNOWS YOUR REAL NAME IN THE COMMENT SECTION MUAHAHA!), here are your sacrificial lambs. There’s Taylor Swift doing that thing where she’s occasionally hot and almost makes you forget she’s just absolutely awful. Then we’ve got Donny Deutsch showing off his new ink that he got using his time machine that only travels back to a frat house in 1998, and Naomi Campbell enjoying the simple, humanitarian pleasure that one gets from philanthropy. Well, that and the elaborate ceremony she attended in her honor where a head of state kissed her ass.
But it was probably that first thing that put this shit-eating grin on her face, yeah it was that for sure,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News, WENN
“Come along, pussy cat. We’re going to buy reefer from the Negroes. Yeah, see, yeah.”
In a surprisingly candid interview with Vulture, a now mustachioed Joe Jonas talks about his experience with the Jonas Brothers and all the Disney insanity that came with it. He also opens up about all the insanity over their purity rings which he says was just some bullshit they were made to do back when they were attending an Assembly of God church. A situation I can entirely relate to, so my pity might be greater than it should be here. Anyway, he said he was naturally banging fans along with famous celebrities like Ashley Greene [Ed. Note: You're gonna wanna click that. - SW] and Demi Lovato, who teamed up with Miley Cyrus to get him to smoke pot. The whole thing is worth a read because, for once, Joe Jonas actually sounds like a normal person who suddenly got to have sex with lots of hot chicks but couldn’t tell anybody or Disney would murder and rape his entire family in their sleep like it did to Vanessa Hudgens‘. Although, I may have read that last part wrong, but just assume it’s right. It sounds right.
Joe Jonas: My Life As A Jonas Brother – Vulture
Photos: GADE/AKM-GSI, Splash News
After wasting my Thanksgiving vacation writing about the religious right’s plans to turn our country into a Christian theocracy ala the Middle East, it’s nice to get back to some real journalism. Namely picking out the best photos of Nina Agdal‘s butt in a bikini while she’s inexplicably on vacation with Lindsay Lohan‘s ex Max George. Do women want their vaginas to turn into fire-breathing dragons? Is that what I’m doing wrong? Because I’ve got some old Sterno cans in the garage. Let me make your dreams become reality.
Photos: Splash News