You Can Now LITERALLY Rest A Cup On Kim Kardashian’s Ass In Your Own (Expensive) Home

For those of us who aren’t already drowning in ass, there’s people crapping out $100 for this weird looking dinner roll/floating scrotum with a twistie tie/chef hat with poop stains. More »


Good Morning! Fanny Neguesha Got Sand In Her Clam and Brazil Has A “Best Butt” Competition

There are so many butts in this post that it’s making my keyboard smell weird. More »


Sly and Arnold Back Out of New Expendables Movie Because They’re Besties

“Eyyo, Arn- you’re my fuckin’ BFF you know that, but you’re way too close alright…”

“I will do nathing without you, Sly… NATHING!” More »


This Water Bottle Thought Rachel McCord Was A Bad Actress So It Threw Up On Her

Hoooly shit, I found a trailer to an indie flick she was in and it made me want to eat a cactus… More »


David Schwimmer And Zoe Buckman’s Daughter Just Scored Two Christmases

Ross is totally breaking up with Zoe to get back at Rachel… as if we needed another reason to drink this morning. More »


Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi Ad Makes Me Want to Pepper Spray Myself

*Cop swigs Pepsi* “As soon as this song is over we’re still bear-macing this crowd, right?” More »


Cindy Crawford Could (Might) Work At Waffle House

Her body has held up well for a 54-year-old, but her face looks like she’s ready mop up some drunk trucker’s puke and ask me if I’d like fries or hash browns… (FYI: I want hash browns). More »


Real Life ‘Most Interesting Man’, Gianluca Vacchi Has An Eggplant In His Pants

The grey-haired millionaire rides horses ‘Putin-style’ with Zac Efron, can stand up on a Harley, and has tattoos all over his body like Guy Pearce in Memento… of course he’s packin’ big produce. More »


Susan Sarandon’s PR Person Is A Real P.O.S. And Other Reasons Hollywood Sucks For Women

Contrary to what other gossip columns say, Sarandon is claiming that she’s never had beef with Julia Roberts or Jessica Lange so lets get hammered and smash the patriarchy. More »


Karin Chiche Doesn’t Care If Her Cell Phone Gets Wet

Don’t freak out… but Karin Chiche just became the 13,434,656,872,443 person ever to wear a tiny bikini on a beach in Miami. More »


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