Because the Internet is a strange and powerful tool that ebbs and flows as it pleases, naked GIFs of Ben Affleck’s naked penis in Gone Girl are now available for people to click and go, “Hey, that’s Batman‘s dick.” Although, I almost positive Jon Hamm was his cock-double because there’s no way that’s Ben Affleck’s dick. You can see it from the side! That’s impossible, right? Right?! — Someone needs to say yes right now, or I swear to God it’s your fault if I swallow all these pills.
Ben Affleck’s Penis (NSFW) After The Jump
Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which is extremely light and almost entirely women except for Spike Lee and Jeremy Piven, who only appears collaterally thanks to Kate Beckinsale‘s ass. And she’s not even fully turned around, giving only a partial reveal of said ass, but a full reveal of the sad details of my job description which I will deflect as follows when talking to friends and family I haven’t seen for a while this holiday season:
Oh man, I haven’t seen you for ages, what have you been up to?
I’m an electrical engineer. Right now, I’m designing the grid for a children’s hospital. How bout you?
You know those ISIS beheading videos? I edit those.
- Photo Boy
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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News
Model/actress Beverly Johnson is the latest Bill Cosby accuser to come forward in a new essay in Vanity Fair today that accuses Cosby of drugging her in the mid-80s while she was auditioning for a role on The Cosby Show. The actor had lowered her defenses by first inviting Beverly to bring her young daughter over for dinner where he put on the full Pudding Man act, so naturally she agreed to come to his house later in the week for lunch. And then the espresso machine full of rape coffee happened. You just read that: More »
Earlier in the week, we saw Kendall Jenner being spanked by Santa Claus for Love Magazine, and now to a somehow creepier extent, here’s her best friend Hailey Baldwin dancing in lingerie. So just assume she’s also managed by Kris Jenner, and Stephen Baldwin‘s Jesus magic was no match for the ancient incantations of the Whorecronomicon. That battle was over before it even begin. “NAKED STUFF SEPHIROTHU!”
Hailey Baldwin Dancing In Lingerie After The Jump
“Haha! People like me more than you now. Kinda.”
As the media’s fickle attention turns to quick and easy thrills like the leaked Sony emails, who Robert Pattinson is fucking, and Ariana Grande being carried around like a baby (Wait. Those are links to my site. Goddammit.), reports on Bill Cosby‘s serial rape allegations are becoming few and far between. But that doesn’t mean shit isn’t still happening which brings us to Tamara Green, one of the original 13 women who supported Andrea Constand‘s lawsuit in 2005, who’s now suing Bill Cosby for defamation in a legal maneuver to finally get him into the courtroom and answer for his alleged crimes. PEOPLE reports:
In the suit, filed in Springfield, Massachusetts, not far from where Cosby has a home, Green says comments made by Cosby’s representatives to The Washington Post and Newsweek this year “impugned” her reputation and exposed her to “public contempt, ridicule, aversion or disgrace.”
She filed the suit to “restore her good name and reputation” her attorney, Joseph Cammarata, tells PEOPLE exclusively.
Turns out that while the statute of limitations for being sexually assaulted have run out, they haven’t for calling Tamara Green a liar in interviews and she’s determined to end this shit once and for all. Via NY Daily News: More »
Here’s Kate Upton posing topless for the “Kate Upton Gets Intimate” behind-the-scenes video for Sports Illustrated because I’m guessing God needed a way to apologize for letting a child molester win the lottery, and this will work. This’ll do the trick. Accidents happen.
Kate Upton Sports Illustrated Behind The Scenes Video After The Jump
Ariana Grande‘s reputation for being a tiny Mariah Carey is no secret except now’s the part where the rumors of her demands have reached almost Tracy Jordan-like levels. And I believe every single one of them. Life & Style reports:
“Her new rule is that she has to be carried — literally carried like a baby — when she doesn’t feel like walking. She says that she doesn’t want her precious feet to hit the floor,” says a source, who witnessed the 21-year-old get a lift from her staff while filming her latest music video and again at rehearsals for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
“Everyone was stunned,” the source tells Life & Style. “Ariana is such a diva.”
Naturally, Ariana’s rep is already denying this shit because everyone knows true divas only ride in Baby Bjorns. #stop #drop #openupshop #FRONTRYDERS #rooolll
UPDATE: There’s a photo of Ariana Grande being carried like a baby.
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Photo: Getty, MPNC/AKM-GSI, Splash News
For those of you who don’t remember, I got crazy sick when I went to see Guardians of The Galaxy in the theater and promised to see it again to write a review. Except I never got around to watching it until it hit Blu-Ray two days ago because my ways are incredible. So here’s the Honest Trailer which nails the shit out of the entire movie, and more importantly, does all the work for me. Plus nobody has to read anything, so everybody wins! Yay! Fish is right! We should ignore his laziness! Whee!
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