Paul Anka Is A Crotchety Old Gangsta

Paul Anka don’t play unless you pay, especially those money grubbing charity organizations that are trying to throw him a bone. More »


Josephine Skriver Can Probably Beat You Up and Other News

Here we have Victoria’s Secret angel Josephine Skriver doing her best Melania Trump impersonation… More »


Let Me Check… Yep, The Duggars Are Still Fertile

Joy Anna Duggar has announced she’s broiling another Duggar baby in her vagina oven. That’s how kids are made right? More »


Tomi Lahren Is Going To FOX News… Surprised?

She’s like the lady version of Bill O’Reilly… only less handsy and more racist. More »


Real Clowns Are Pissed At Stephen King… I Wonder Why

Hearing a bunch of clowns complaining that Stephen King’s It is causing them to lose business makes me want to honk a bycicle horn and drive off a cliff in a tiny car. More »


Victoria Secret’s Fallen Angels Bring 1,000 Years of Darkness Upon NYC

The Dark Lord Hadid has summoned her minions to assemble and fulfill the prophecy!! More »


Bring Your Nipples To Work Day: Bella Hadid

Since she doesn’t have a kid and I doubt anybody would trust her with a dog, Bella just has to make the best of it. More »


Let’s Check In With Justin Bieber’s Balls Real Quick

A lawsuit between a hospital and a former staffer has raised new questions about the status of Justin Bieber’s testicles… This is the kind of hard-hitting journalism that illuminates the whole North Korea thing for the puff piece it is. More »


Joel Osteen is Probably Matthew McConaughey’s Evil Twin Brother

He doesn’t need these soggy Houston flood victims tracking mud all over God’s carpet until Jesus gives him the go ahead. More »


Rachel McCord Hitchhiking Sorta Naked And Other News

You know, if I were to stand on the side of a busy street wearing this and waving my finger around I’d probably wind up at a very different party than the one she’s probably going to… More »


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