Here’s Kim Kardashian coming out the front door of Barry’s Bootcamp where the paparazzi were conveniently waiting to snap pics of her with slightly less makeup on so it looks like she actually works out. Which is horseshit because below is Minka Kelly also leaving a gym in Los Angeles looking sweaty as all hell, and she’s a woman in fantastic shape with breasts that are at least half the size of Kim’s who is dry as a bone. So if you think I’m insinuating that Kim was paid to endorse Barry’s Bootcamp because she’ll do anything for money, you’re goddamn right I am. I said it right in the fucking headline. I’d hire a skywriter, but not all of us have butterfly dick money like you, LaBeouf.
Jiggas and jiggerettes, the worldwide video premiere of “Drip 4 U Girl,” a #BBare Bizzle Joint.
‘Drip 4 U Girl’ Lyrics After The Jump
If you’ve been bouncing around the Internet this morning, the top completely bullshit story seems to be Andrew Garfield ruining Batkid‘s chance at being an Oscars presenter which he of course didn’t. It all started when Page Six decide to run a rampantly spreading report that Andrew Garfield hated his lines and went diva on a kid with cancer before bailing on the Oscars. A report that claims Batkid’s parents saw the whole thing, yet somehow never brought it up when interviewed about why Batkid got cut at the last minute which caught them completely by surprise. On top of that, you have reports that Emma Stone had a family emergency More »
Reality television is a shithole inhabited by shitheads doing shitty things for shitty people to watch, so it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice decided to exploit the most traumatic moment in her children’s lives so she has a better storyline than Carmella Meatball Buttafuoco Spaghetti. And there’s no way that’s not the name of one of the chicks on that show. Just no way. Radar reports:
However, the producers were able to film Teresa and Joe Giudice telling their four daughters about their decision to admit guilt and their reactions.
“They filmed her telling all her kids, it was an emotional time for her,” the source told Radar.
“She wanted to be completely honest and so she showed that to her family her fans are going to get to see that too.”
“Mommy, why are you telling us family stuff while the camera people are here?”
“Well, sweetie, mommy doesn’t know how long she’ll be gone, so she’s hoping this very private and emotional moment where your life falls apart will get lots and lots of ratings so there’s a spot for her when she gets back.”
“Oh. But, you and dad are going to be gone for a really long time, right?”
“That’s right, baby. I know it’ll be har- ohmygod, are you smiling? She’s fucking smiling! CUT.”
Photos: Splash News
When we last left Aaron Carter he was filing for bankruptcy which does not put one in a prime position to purchase diamond engagement rings for the blowjobbing. And yet here he is very publicly stating his undying commitment to winning Hilary Duff back now that she’s single again because meth destroys the mind. Just eats it right up:
Aaron Carter’s Tweets To Hilary Duff After The Jump
- Katy Perry shits on Miley Cyrus‘ tongue, and wow, I just oversold this. [Lainey Gossip]
- The Annie remake has a trailer. [Dlisted]
- Chivettes Bored At Work [theCHIVE]
- More proof that Kris Jenner is Satan and her children are demon spawn. [Fishwrapper]
- Funny Girl Sex Guide: Types Of Travel Sex (Part 2!) [The Frisky]
- Kelsey Grammer knocked his wife up again. [tooFab]
- Jessica Alba is leggy as hell. [Popoholic]
- Alessandra Ambrosio is more than just a MILF. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Miley Cyrus is still making out with chicks. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
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Photos: Splash News
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, our daily feature where I make wildly untrue speculations like this one about how Alec Baldwin raids trash cans now (Sound familiar?) or this one about Ashton Kutcher who haha, what? No, babe, he just thought he recognized that girl from the gym or something, but no, that’s not…oh maybe she works at Starbucks, yeah he’s pretty sure he’s seen her there anyway, why would she wear jeans that tight? Like who even wants to see that?
Fellas, let me know how that conversation plays out, I’ll be over here deleting ‘WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME, YOU FUCK?!’ emails from my inbox,
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