- Ryan Gosling got Dr. Who to shave his head. His powers know no bounds. [Lainey Gossip]
- Hey, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are stagin’ a photo op here! [Dlisted]
- Girls have squishy parts. In case you were curious. [theCHIVE]
- Bryan Singer really likes tweeting X-Men set photos. [tooFab]
- RIP, Dr. Joyce Brothers [BuzzFeed]
- Emmanuelle Chriqui looks hot armed. You win this round, guns… [Popoholic]
- Xenia Deli in lingerie, anyone? [Hollywood Tuna]
- Eva Longoria is see-through. [Celebslam]
- Heidi Klum‘s still tweeting bikini photos. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Of course Kevin Smith thinks Clerks 3 is The Empire Strikes Back of the Clerks trilogy. [FilmDrunk]
Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which for some reason contains a healthy amount of social media contributions, starting with Rosie Jones up there who is both not Katy Perry and also just Google image-searched you out of a job, so sorry about that. We’ve also got invisible Terry Richardson‘s penis, James Deen just now remembering he left his wallet, keys, and hair brush in Farrah’s anus, and the happiest portraits of marriage and fatherhood I’ve ever seen.
Oh, and sportsmanship. That pic is all about the win and in no way indicates boner swords, so stop asking, Fish,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INF, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
If the Internet’s primary purpose is porn, it’s secondary purpose is.. well, probably cat photos. But after that it’s finding old pictures of people who look like current celebrities and then accusing them of being vampires. So keeping with that tradition, via Buzzfeed here’s Taylor Swift when she appeared on a 1990 episode of Sally Jessy Raphael as Satanist Zeena LaVey. And while there isn’t any video, just assume “Zeena” talked about her new spell that can make any man fall in love with her forever and how that couldn’t possibly ever backfire.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN
Late last month, Selena Gomez flew to Norway to get back together with Justin Bieber to the point where they were even posing for Instagram photos. But apparently sometime between now and then she went, “I’ve made a huge mistake,” because here she is telling Kiss 108 in Boston that not only is she available, but please, for the love of God, will someone who’s not Justin Bieber ask her out. Via Radar Online:
“So sometimes you may see a boy walking down the street and he says, ‘let’s grab an ice-cream.’ You’re available?” Selena responded, “Yep.”
When pressed, “You’re completely available in every way?,” Selena confirmed, “Yep!” And the pretty pop star, 20, even implied she’d love to get asked out, telling the DJ, “By the way, that would be awesome if someone asked if I wanted ice cream because that would be cool.”
Selena Gomez, would you like to get ice cream? Because I have access to ice cream. In fact, there’s an entire supermarket by my house fucking full of ice cream plus a Sweet Frog if you don’t a mind a 20 minute drive. I also have chest hair and descended testicles if that sweetens the pot. (Full disclosure: One hangs a little lower than the other which I’ve been told is common along with other inadequacies you can tell me aren’t a big deal while I’m naked and crying. We’ll have fun.)
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News
Just last week Lindsay Lohan was telling Piers Morgan she doesn’t need rehab because she’s not addicted to drugs, so naturally that story ended with her already wanting to leave rehab because they took away the drug she’s addicted to. TMZ reports:
Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ … doctors at the rehab center evaluated Lindsay this week and decided she does NOT need her Addy pills, despite Lindsay’s claims she suffers from ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).
We’re told Betty Ford’s doctors almost NEVER give anyone over the age of 15 the powerful drug, because the docs believe there are plenty of substitute meds for ADHD that do the trick without the addictive qualities inherent in the drug. And, we’re told, the doctors are well aware many people — especially Hollywood types — misuse Adderall as a weight-control drug.
Lindsay is apparently trying to get transferred to a different rehab facility that will let her stay hopelessly addicted to narcotics, but surprisingly the judge in her case isn’t going for it. It’s almost as if he wants the sentence he handed down be an effective method of rehabilitation when really he should be worried about making sure Lindsay gets everything she wants because she was in Mean Girls. “That’s how the law works,” she probably said while dramatically taking off her glasses and looking into the wrong pretend camera.
Photos: Malibu Joe/AKM-GSI
“Sir, my pubic hair is of the purest, most royal silk. The local villagers call me, ‘Senora Pussy Softest,’ and offer to bathe it in their finest oils. In some regions of France, it’s even rumored to cure polio. Polio.”
Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t eat, so if you opened a bottle of wine in the next room she’d be pissing in an Urasian urn without wiping with the Mona Lisa not even five minutes later. So here she is calling into Australia’s The Kyle and Jackie O Show after physically consuming a martini which led to her talking about her shaved vagina and making a remarkably subtle dig at Madonna for someone who probably puked on a tiger rug as soon as she hung up. Via E! News:
On how she really hated this year’s MET Gala in case she hasn’t said that enough:
“Like you always think, ‘Oh my god. This is going to be so glamorous and amazing and you’re going to see all these people.’ And then you’re there, and it’s so hot. It’s so crowded. Everyone’s pushing you. This year it was really intense. It wasn’t fun. … Kanye West was playing and he was furious and he threw his microphone down. It was all drama!”
I’m pretty sure this was aimed right at Madonna:
“I feel like we’re all a bit old to be trying to dress punk.”
On shaving her 70s bush for her ridiculous dress at the Iron Man 3 premiere:
“I said, ‘No, I got a big ’70s bush.’ Which I was kidding. … But then it was all a disaster and now I look like an 8-year-old girl, basically.”
In related news, Chris Hansen just called and said this is his crime scene now and something about hauling Chris Martin in. He kept talking like Batman, so I only caught bits and piece- shit, he saw the Kendall pics. CHEESE IT!
Gwyneth Paltrow’s Drunken Interview After The Jump