Per your request, here are the uncensored photos of Rihanna‘s naked butt that TMZ ran yesterday, and we were finally able to purchase this morning. As for how we could afford them, let’s just say there’s a good chance you’ll run into Photo Boy in a Romanian brothel now. And if you do, tell him I regret nothing. NOTHING.
So remember when Amanda Bynes was wandering around building bombs out of her dog, Tweeting topless pics and talking to herself in a secret language? That’s about to happen all over again because her mother’s an idiot. TMZ reports:
Amanda Bynes’ mother just came out publicly and said her daughter does NOT suffer from Schizophrenia or bipolar disorder — she says the only problem Amanda had was weed — but multiple sources tell TMZ … that’s just NOT true.
Amanda’s mom says all her her daughter’s problems emanated from marijuana, and she is now weed-free, so Amanda is off ALL medications. Lynn Bynes says, “She has no mental illness whatsoever.”
That’s a pretty amazing statement for a woman who currently has a conservatorship over her 28-year-old daughter thanks to a team of medical professionals who deemed her “gravely disabled” so they could lock her in the goddamn psych ward. Don’t get me wrong, potheads annoy me, too, but I’ve never seen one try to explode an elderly woman’s driveway while wearing a Miss Piggy wig. They’re not that ambitious. Trust me.
I know all you bitches out dare be hearing rumors dat Selena Gomez be banging Legolas and gettin’ served on accountant of my boy #BBare, but let me tell y’all a lil sumpin: Bustin Bizzle be packin’ six feet a bubble gum, and Selena Gomez wants to get dat Big League Chew on, naw mean? She ain’t ever givin’ dat up. Not for no Will Turner, or no One Direction England mothafucka who’s all like, “Ooh, let’s drink tea and watch dat show with dat bitch from Harry Potter who be teachin’ them kids magic and shit.” Fuck all dat. Selena Gomez wants da bonez, and my boy #BBare’s got da whole damn skeleton. Click clack, ho.
- Johnny Depp is getting treated like Jennifer Garner now. [Lainey Gossip]
- Anne Hathaway singing rap songs. Goddammit… [Dlisted]
- Redheads, man… [theCHIVE]
- Kim Kardashian is still a vapid cunt. In case you were wondering. [Fishwrapper]
- Jennifer Lawrence was a good choice as Mystique. I take it all back. [Popoholic]
- Bob Saget is a good dad. [Starpulse]
- Lindsay Lohan prank called Oprah because she no longer fears death. [tooFab]
- Amber Heard‘s doing Marilyn Monroe photo shoots now. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Is Jordan Belfort a model? Then Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t give a fuck. [FilmDrunk]
- Tara Reid‘s in a bikini. Kill it. KILL IT WITH FIRE. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
THE SUPERFICIAL | About • Facebook • Twitter
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed which features an Arquette Family Photo, the first ever to appear in TCWM, and a perfect excuse for me to advocate my long held belief that five children is too many. As the middle child of five, who ended working a job almost entirely dependent on unintentional celebrity nudity for a living, I can tell you that there’s just no way they’re all going to end up alright. Seriously, to anyone out there contemplating a fourth or just leaving it to chance, I can tell you from experience that police, dead pets, and paying for unused community college credits are all in your very near future.
This has been a Superfical Public Service Announcement,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Here’s Minnie Driver in a bikini because I hate you. There’s no other way to interpret this post. I pray and secretly hope for your death. There’s no denying it anymore. You’ve seen my hand.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News
Yesterday, the Internet was captivated by the raccoon-like antics of a topless Florida woman who smashed her way through a McDonald’s before stopping to guzzle soft-serve right out of the machine and calling it a night. Turns out she wasn’t high or drunk or drunk and high, but was simply angered by an employee who refused to let her blow him the parking lot. There’s a logical explanation for everything. FOX 13 reports:
PPPD identified the woman as Sandra Suarez, 41. Officers say the tirade came after a McDonald’s employee turned down Suarez’s offer of oral sex in the parking lot.
Suarez was taken to Northside Hospital as a precaution, but police said doctors determined she wasn’t under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
She was charged with criminal mischief and resisting arrest, then was released on $7,000 bond.
Reached by FOX 13′s Steve Nichols on Tuesday, the mother of two blamed the tirade on bipolar disorder and she does not remember much of it.
When asked how she even knows if she’s bipolar, the woman replied, “I made a decision to move to Florida. That pretty much cinched it.” As for the employees who uploaded the video to LiveLeak, they’ve all been fired because McDonald’s hates joy and laughter. For God’s sake, their mascot’s a pedophile clown. I’M ONTO YOU!
Uncensored Security Footage After The Jump