Jennifer Lawrence: Everyone’s Favorite Barf Queen

Once again, J-Law is living up to her reputation of being an 11-year-old boy trapped in a grown woman’s body after she threw up in a Broadway theatre lobby. More »


Aaron Carter’s Blaming His DUI On 9/11 Because Meth Is Great

If they make Aaron Carter wear a suit to court rather than dressing like a truck stop twink then the terrorists win. He’s an American icon like a state bird or a hamburger… or a state bird eating a hamburger out of a dumpster. More »


Sure Caitlyn Jenner Wants to Be A Senator Too, Why Not

Somebody needs to put a stop to this whole “celebrities running for office” thing before Senator Kid Rock passes his Baw-wit’da-bill that gives strippers fast pass dance lanes at the DMV. More »


Mary Kaitlin Doing Stretchy Camo Bikini Things and More News

I see that her camouflage bikini doesn’t help blend her into the ocean, but this is art people – things don’t always have to make sense. More »


No, Michael Phelps Is Not Going To Beat A Great White Shark In A Race

Michael Phelps can max out at about 5 mph… a great white shark can swim 25mph while sending a text message to its other shark friends about the food porn they’re about to make. More »


Kim Kardashian Went to Dinner Without A Shirt Because It’s Hot Out

Kim K. sticks it to those snobby jacket-required restaurant policies by literally only wearing a jacket. She’s so punk rock, you guys srslyyy… More »


Leo Dicaprio (Lord Hog Body) Grossed Out Some Young Models

Leo was overheard boasting to some models about how he “doesn’t have to work out” to maintain his 42-year-old hog body. *The goal of this post is to petition that we all start adopting the word “hog body” to replace dad bod.* More »


Miles Teller’s Girlfriend Brought Her Boobs to A Beach and Other News

Whats the over/under on whether or not Miles Teller used girlfriend Keleigh Sperry’s chest to practice drums in preparation for Whiplash? More »


Paris Jackson Has Pierced Nipples If That Does Anything For You

Paris Jackson is learning from the best on how to be a successful model in Hollywood after adopting this whole “get your picture taken braless as much as possible” strategy to boost exposure. More »


Daniel Craig Is Bond Again Because Money

Despite claiming he’d “rather slash his wrists” than play Bond again, Daniel Craig looks like he’s going to need to eat his words… in a salad made of cash greens. More »


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