Maria Shriver Was Not Prepared For Lena Dunham’s Penis Talk

Maria Shriver once found out her husband secretly impregnated the maid. This should’ve been a cake walk. More »

So No More Salt Bae, The Salt Bae Has Gone Bad

Raise your hand if you agree that playing with dead pig butt should kill your internet fame dead. More »

We’re Talking About Kelly Ripa’s Sex Life Now, I Guess

Kelly Ripa cucked Mark Consuelos on live television. Am I using that correctly? On second thought, don’t tell me. I want to die happy. More »

Matt Damon Almost Cried When George Clooney Told Him About Twins

Somewhere Ben Affleck just turned down “Slow Ride” and went, “Waitaminnit, he nevah fackin’ cried when I told him Chahleen was pregnant…” More »

Broke Johnny Depp Has Money For Tunnels? I Don’t Even Know

Nope, Johnny Depp hasn’t completely lost his mind. Why do you ask? More »

Miranda Kerr & Evan Spiegel Don’t Have Sex? What? Why? How?!

Miranda Kerr has been living with Evan Spiegel this whole time without once having sex with him. ‘Ultimate Golddigger’ Achievement unlocked. More »

Shia LaBeouf’s Protest Webcast Thingy Got Shut Down

Shia LaBeouf’s “He Will Not Divide Us” webcast is no more. The Resistance has suffered a crucial blow. (No. No, it hasn’t. Not even close.) More »

Good God, Chrissy Teigen’s ‘SI Swimsuit’ Video, And Other News

Let the ScarJo and Chris Evans rumors begin. [Lainey Gossip]

Shailene Woodley has officially bounced on Divergent. [Dlisted]

Dani Mathers’ nude photo case is going well for her. [TMZ]

Trump’s Muslim Ban just got its ass beat in court. [Newser]

Your morning links. … More »

Jessica Lowndes In A Swimsuit Is The Crap We Missed

Jessica Lowndes in a swimsuit, Joe Biden continuing to be the best, the fate of our children’s education, and a JLo butt-jiggle video. It’s The Crap We Missed. More »

Farrah Abraham Made Fake Fan Accounts On Instagram, BAHAHAHA!

Farrah Abraham uses fake screenames to compliment herself on social media, which would be super sad if she wasn’t a butt devil from Hell. More »

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