Yesterday, after a series of depressing posts about heroin addiction and child molesting, Kelly Brook’s breasts rose up out of the ocean like majestic sea otters and washed away the bad feelings, so why not do that all over again? More importantly, it’ll keep you busy you while I clean up all this coffee thanks to David McIntosh‘s boner knocking over my mu- no no no no, not my figurines! Aw, you dick.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Because The View is a place where you can find the greatest minds of our generation navigating hot-button issues so you don’t have to, here’s Barbara Walters explaining how there’s no way Woody Allen could’ve molested Dylan Farrow because he’s such a sweet man which has never backfired before in the history of child molestation, that puts all this to bed. Case closed. Via NY Daily News: More »
Hmm. I wonder how he smuggled those…
Depending on where you read, Philip Seymour Hoffman had somewhere between 50 – 70 bags of heroin in his apartment at the time of his death. Which raises the question of just how awful it is to be around his kid that Philip Seymour Hoffman needed this much heroin before having a father/son night watching the Super Bowl. And by raises the question, I mean will plague this poor kid forever because this is another don’t do drugs post, so suck it up. Now is when you talk about this shit and what it does to people regardless of how awesome someone was in Boogie Nights.
- Naomie Harris. That is all. [Lainey Gossip]
- Eva Mendes might have a Baby Goose baby in her. [Dlisted]
- Bad Girls Bend At The Waist [theCHIVE]
- I believe Kylie Jenner‘s learned a lot actually. [Fishwrapper]
- Why giving Philip Seymour Hoffman‘s drug dealer the death penalty is ridiculous. [The Daily Banter]
- Oh, fuck, Janelle Evans‘ pregnancy is real?! [tooFab]
- Has Dylan Farrow tried YouTube? Apparently YouTube is effective. [BuzzFeed]
- Selena Gomez is braless. [Popoholic]
- Paris Hilton seems chilly. [Hollywood Tuna]
- There’s no way this Carl’s Jr. ad isn’t real. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Some Nude College Girls Filmed Themselves Making Out In The Columbia Library, For Art [FilmDrunk]
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Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet
Don’t even act like you don’t know who that is.
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’ll just shoot it to you guys straight. It’s snowing like a motherfucker here and that puts me in a mood most foul, so instead of trying to make this post seem more interesting than a goddamn flaming-hammer-of-justice wielding ambulance chaser I’ll just go ahead and lower that bar. There’s Dexter spitting in the general direction of the paparazzi – SCANDAL!, David Hasselhoff driving what must be one of those french fry grease powered cars, and Woody Allen who’s apparently allowed to bring his own treats into sporting events.
What? Oh, I crossed the line? My apologies, he’s real stand-up dude, I shouldn’t have,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
When I kept seeing headlines for “The Greatest Super Bowl Commercial Ever Made,” I wrote it off as probably some bullshit with kittens or marching bands or whatever the Internet’s going crazy for these days. (Neil Gaiman reading Dr. Seuss? Why not?) Except thanks to a bunch of you not shutting up about it, I finally watched Jamie Casino‘s Super Bowl commercial that only aired in Savannah, Ga. and JESUS CHRIST. Not only is this thing two minutes of fiery sledgehammer vengeance set against a sea of corruption, it’s practically the trailer for Ghost Rider 3: Have You Been Injured In An Automobile Accident? More importantly, this metal-as-shit pillar of justice has also proclaimed himself the defender of the innocent, so clearly he should be the one to battle George Zimmerman for the lawful right to that title. THERE CAN BE ONLY ON- wait, can sledgehammers stop bullets? Then never mind, forget I spoke. That was a stupid idea.
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Looks just like her.
Here’s Miley Cyrus in the new issue of W Magazine where she’s interviewed by Ronan Farrow and says a bunch of shit about weed and how she has it all figured out because what 21-year-old doesn’t? So feel free to subject yourself to that, or just look at her nipple while she looks absolutely nothing like Miley Cyrus. Alright, seriously, who is this really? Stop messing with me.
Miley Cyrus: Ronan Farrow Interviews America’s Bad Girl – W Magazine
Photos: W Magazine