Gary Oldman’s Still Apologizing

June 26th, 2014 // 28 Comments
Gary Oldman Jimmy Kimmel
WATCH: Gary Oldman Apologizes On 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'
Gary Oldman's Sorry, Jews
Gary Oldman
Please Let Him Keep Being In Every Movie Read More »

When Gary Oldman issued an apology for his Playboy interview where he agreed with drunken Mel Gibson that “The Jews” run Hollywood and Alec Baldwin should be allowed to call the paparazzi faggots without fear of reprisal, there were two ways to look at it, and admittedly, even I couldn’t tell: Either it was a sarcastic “Fuck You” to the Anti-Defamation League, or it was a way too syrupy sweet blowjob to them written by an overzealous PR flack. Regardless, they weren’t having it, and so here is the part where manly men expected Gary to come out guns-blazing and continue his one-man war on politically correct pussies and their faggot-like regard for others, but instead he went on Jimmy Kimmel and cried and apologized some more because, again, it’s written right in the interview that even Gary Oldman realized Gary Oldman was saying stupid shit Gary Oldman shouldn’t have been saying. As for why he didn’t get out in front of it, I’ll assume he actually thought Playboy would edit out the Mel Gibson stuff instead of going, “Holy shit, you got that on tape?!” and riding pageview unicorns into mountains of coke. And when you think about it, of course he’s apologizing because at the end of the day, his main argument is that we’re all as racist, homophobic, misogynistic, whatever as Mel Gibson which is a pretty fucking tall order. Christ, even this neighborhood watch member who just got outed as a KKK Grand Dragon is remarkably polite(-ish): More »

Good Morning, Lea Michele, And Other News

June 26th, 2014 // 5 Comments

- Oscar Isaac will clean up the mess Harrison Ford‘s broken pelvis made. [Lainey Gossip]

- Joe Biden knows what’s up. [Dlisted]

- Look at that Stormtrooper helmet. Oh, and that ass. [theCHIVE]

- That real life Elsa from Frozen took bikini pics now. [Coed]

- So Courtney Stodden has officially run its course. Good times. [Fishwrapper]

- Lea Michele went surfing, too. Her schnozz makes a great rudder. [WWTDD]

- Did Kim Kardashian Photoshop her own nipple? [The Frisky]

- According to Sports Illustrated, Valerie van der Graaf is legal, but I dunno… [Popoholic]

- The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 has a trailer. [Starpulse]

- Masseuses are always looking at Channing Tatum‘s dick. Even if his wife’s there. [tooFab]

- Georgia Salpa is still a hotter version of Kim Kardashian. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Those are Miranda Kerr‘s nipples. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photos: FameFlynet

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 6.25.14

June 25th, 2014 // 366 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed which is pretty Instagram heavy — even more than normal — but when Ireland Baldwin returns in a bikini after a prolonged absence in a move clearly calculated to shame Lindsay Lohan‘s diarrhea freckles, I must document it. This is my charge. I also tossed in Samuel L. Jackson who is like the bacon of celebrity photographs, they’re always improved by him, as well as a double dose of Satan’s representation on earth starting here, because it’s important to remember exactly how ugly they truly are on the outside as well.

And yes, that’s motherfuckin’ Dabney Coleman, because Cloak & Dagger was my shit. Go ahead, say something,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

‘Please Be Quiet Around My Tits And My Baby. My Tits And My Baby Need Silence.’

June 25th, 2014 // 43 Comments
Previously In Moo-Cows
Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Top
Donald Trump Wouldn't Hit It Read More »

Because Kim Kardsashian is a vacuous leather couch who demands constant attention, she wheeled her supposedly sleeping baby (and see-through tits) through LAX instead of sending it ahead with the nanny who nobody would’ve recognized and could’ve easily got the kid in a car. Except the paparazzi that Kris Jenner called in advance were promised Kim with North West for their cooperation which is why she felt extremely comfortable demanding silence in one of the busiest goddamn airports in America. Except here’s the amazing part: They actually listened. Because if they didn’t, they wouldn’t get the next call, and they know for a fact complete fucking idiots will gladly pay for pics of Kim’s- GODDAMMIT! Alright, new plan: When they find my body at the shooting range in a hour, tell them I had a wife and Leonardo DiCaprio banged her. It’ll be funny, trust me. *searches for keys*

Video After The Jump

Gary Oldman Is Sorry, Jews

June 25th, 2014 // 49 Comments
Gary Oldman
'Mel Gibson Was Right'
Gary Oldman
Oh, Gary. Gary Gary Gary. Read More »

“I’d first like to personally apologize to Matthew McConaughey, a sterling example of your kind- what’s that? Goddammit.”

If you somehow were nowhere near the Internet yesterday, Gary Oldman experienced a whirlwind of shit after his recent Playboy interview was published online and included the following defense of Mel Gibson:

Mel Gibson is in a town that’s run by Jews and he said the wrong thing because he’s actually bitten the hand that I guess has fed him—and doesn’t need to feed him anymore because he’s got enough dough.

He also defended Alec Baldwin who has a history of getting pissed off at the paparazzi and referring to them as cocksucking fags, toxic little queens and if he’s feeling jaunty, coons:

Alec calling someone an F-A-G in the street while he’s pissed off coming out of his building because they won’t leave him alone. I don’t blame him.

Both were examples for an odd, out-of-nowhere rant on “political correctness” that even Gary Oldman immediately realized were exactly the wrong choices and made him look like a bigot. Which is a mindset Gary Oldman has never exhibited or shown any proclivity towards until now, and backed right the fuck away from it because he’s a rational adult who, despite his previous rant, does realize words have meanings: More »

Katie Cleary’s Husband Shot Himself After Seeing Photos of Her With Leonardo DiCaprio

June 25th, 2014 // 45 Comments
Leo Gets A Pass
Justin Bieber Drinking Adriana Lima Rick Ross Gotha Club Cannes
Entirely Because of This Read More »

In a turn of events that surprisingly hasn’t happened sooner, Andrew Stern, the husband of Deal or No Deal model Katie Cleary, shot himself on Sunday following weeks of seeing photos of wife partying in Cannes with Leonardo DiCaprio and Adrian Grenier. According to her, they were already in the process of getting divorced and Leo and Adrian had nothing to do with it, but his friends say he was embarrassed as fuck and already battling depression which does kind of leave Leo out of this. But only Leo because let’s be realistic, most men understand they have a better chance of stopping their wife from getting caught in a rainstorm then not having sex with him. As for Adrian Grenier, well, you’d hope she’d know better and realize that funk isn’t going to wash off. You can only Febreeze a vagina so much before your husband realizes things are never going to back to the way they were before. These are facts.

Photos: Abaca/AKM-GSI

Jenny McCarthy’s Getting Fired From ‘The View’

June 25th, 2014 // 26 Comments
I'm Sorry, Come Again?
Jenny McCarthy
Jenny McCarthy Says She's Not Anti-Vaccines Read More »

Earlier this month, a New York federal judge ruled that parents can no longer send their unvaccinated kids to public school claiming a “religious exemption” – Which needs to start happening in more states, Pennsylvania. – and now comes word that Jenny McCarthy‘s getting kicked off The View after a year, so it’s been a good month for anyone who prefers their children not dead. FOX 411 reports:

According to a well-placed insider, the former Playboy Playmate’s contract on the talk show is up for renewal in July and ABC will likely not be re-inking the deal.
“Jenny just didn’t appeal to the daytime audience market. They couldn’t relate to her,” a source told FOX411. “There are a lot of changes taking place now that Barbara [Walters] has left.”

Of course, the most important part of the story is when Jenny McCarthy was hired for The View and a whole bunch of places used one of our fart jokes as an actual quote from her. And by most important I mean I’ve got nothing and didn’t want to just write “YAAAAAY!” down here. I bet this is how Thom Friedman does it.

Photos: Splash News

Good Morning, Courtney Robertson, And Other News

June 25th, 2014 // 2 Comments

- Kristen Stewart wants to sue Joan Rivers for essentially being right. [Lainey Gossip]

- Megan Fox‘s life is so hard, you guys. [Dlisted]

- What is up, Libby Powell? [theCHIVE]

- Farrah Abraham is a motivational speaker now. [Fishwrapper]

- Michelle Vawer‘s in lingerie. [Popoholic]

- Justin Bieber‘s new neighbors already hate him. [Starpulse]

- Cute pic, but ask her what their names are. Go ahead. I’ve got time. [tooFab]

- Hello, Sarah Dumont… [Hollywood Tuna]

- Genevieve Morton is a way cooler Kate Upton. [Celebslam]

- Kate Compton gets naked for art or something. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photos: Pacific Coast News