Jenny McCarthy & Donnie Wahlberg Got Their Own Reality Show

November 12th, 2014 // 10 Comments
Previously In Failing At TV
Jenny McCarthy Cleavage Halloween Costume
She Was Fired From 'The View.' Not Quit. F.I.R.E.D. Read More »

Posted by Photo Boy

Because the world is a giant stockpot of diarrhea and reality television is the spoon that stirs it, it’s only right that Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg get to make their own deposit. When reached for comment, the couple dropped this verbal nugget and yes I’m going to just keep making poop jokes here. Get on board. Via People:

Our feeling is, who better to make our first show for the network about, than about us?” the couple said in a statement. “We love working together and with our crazy schedules this gives us the chance to both work and play together.

It really is classic F-List Hollywood to immediately co-opt someone else’s idea and somehow make it seem like brilliance on your part. I’m assuming the pitch meeting went like this:

PRODUCER 1: Everybody loves Wahlburgers. We’d love to build on that with a spinoff about you two.
JENNY: *farts loudly, claps hands, laughs uncontrollably*
DONNIE: I like what you’re saying, but what if the show was just about Jenny and me, you know, just our wacky everyday interactions.
PRODUCER 1: Right…I think that’s basically what I just pitc–
PRODUCER 2: You can make it so her tits are mostly out all the time, right?
DONNIE: *stands up, extends handshake* Gentlemen, let’s make some television.

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Photo: MPNC/AKM-GSI

Kim Kardashian’s Butt Is Naked

November 12th, 2014 // 107 Comments
It's Kim's Naked Boobs, Too
Kim Kardashian Naked Butt
Let's Make This
A Party Read More »

So I’m going to talk sexually about Kim Kardashian’s naked ass for a minute because I’m pretty sure it’s not on the cover of Paper to spark a discussion on common core. In fact, legend has it, there are words written beneath her ass that say it’s here to “break the Internet,” but we lost three interns trying to confirm it. They weren’t mountain ready. Anyway, here’s Kim’s giant butt which looks even gianter when you Photoshop the shit out of her waist because apparently already being the size of a small space station isn’t enough. What’s the purpose here besides making every form of sex with her anal? Kim Kardashian could be in another room giving you a handjob with Inspector Gadget arms, and you’d still be doing her in the butt. Technically, we’re all having sex with her ass right now just reading this post. (No eye contact.)

Celebrities Respond To Kim Kardashian’s Naked Ass After The Jump

Good Morning, Brina Chantal, And Other News

November 12th, 2014 // 1 Comment

- Something about Jennifer Aniston and a cock ring if I’m reading this right. [Lainey Gossip]

- Jennifer Lawrence will never join Twitter because she hates you, Internet. [Dlisted]

- Please stop giving a shit about Eminem lyrics. He doesn’t matter anymore. [Fishwrapper]

- The Vixen Is Elizabeth Hancock [theCHIVE]

- This dad wins the Internet today. Fuck Kim Kardashian. [The Frisky]

- Charlotte McKinney has sexy outtakes. [COED]

- Nina Agdal‘s in lingerie. [WWTDD]

- Kill All Record Labels [Death and Taxes]

- Bella Thorne knows how to drive book sales. [Popoholic]

- What’s up, Taylor Swift‘s girlfriend? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Goddamn, Doutzen Kroes. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 11.11.14

November 11th, 2014 // 376 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that has Lindsay Lohan in the lead position instead of Kelly Brook, because true story, Fish made me switch them out when he sensed my momentary lack of self-loating. It doesn’t matter since I would have gotten there pretty quickly as soon as I reviewed these pics of Jena Malone, Jade Avia, and Hofit Golan either flashing their panties or nipples at what is basically a children’s movie, so you know what? Fuck it.

HA! Look at Bon Jovi‘s dick, everybody! (Parental respect is overrated.)

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Marilyn Monroe Now

November 11th, 2014 // 20 Comments
Gwyneth Paltrow Marilyn Monroe
WATCH: Gwyneth Paltrow As Marilyn Monroe

Posing as Marilyn Monroe is some Lindsay Lohan shit, so imagine my surprise to see Gwyneth Paltrow posing as her for Max Factor. This is literally the most pedestrian thing I’ve seen her do in my life. It’ll be a miracle if they let her back into Britain. Or the ivory bazaar. Then where will she purchase the finest in feminine inserts? The local apothecary? Ha! Menstruating into cotton like a cobbler’s wife. Surely you jest. (h/t Lainey)

Maitland Ward Is Naked In Space Or Something

November 11th, 2014 // 32 Comments

Full Disclosure: We are crazy buttslammed from the Bill Cosby memes, so here’s a practically naked Maitland Ward on the set of Descent Into The Maelstrom which is apparently an actual movie and not the porn parody for Interstellar. I have no idea how that happened, so please don’t ask.

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Photos: MPNC/AKM-GSI

Mama June’s Letting Pumpkin Believe The Child Molester Is Her Real Dad

November 11th, 2014 // 32 Comments
Mama June Shannon Chet Weird Science
The Same Goddamn Bed?
Mama June Shannon
As The Child Molester? Jesus Christ... Read More »

It’s been a while since we peered into the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo spittoon, and surprise, it’s still getting more awful by the minute. Which is pretty amazing considering the last post was about Mama June letting Honey Boo Boo sleep in the same bed as the child molester who already raped one daughter in front of another one who’s now being led to believe said child molester is her real father because Hell is real and it’s the South. Via Gawker:

Last night on HLN, Anna talked to Dr. Drew about McDaniel’s abuse and how she feels about Mama June dating him again now. “I’m hurt,” she kept repeating. She also offered an explanation as to why Pumpkin, who was only three when she watched Anna get molested, is defending her mother:
[Mark] was supposed to be [Pumpkin's] so-called father or whatever it is. You know, out of all the kids we have, Mama does not know who Pumpkin’s dad is. And Pumpkin thinks it’s Mark which kind of hurts my feelings, because Mama is making her believe that someone who did that to me is her father. Now Pumpkin hates me for it…

Keep in mind, there’s also another daughter floating in the mix – And with the unfortunate nickname of “Chubbs.” – whose father did time for “sexually exploiting a child over the Internet,” so I really need to stop thinking there’s a bottom to this situation because it’s not going to end until this guy drives to Mexico with Honey Boo Boo and Anna’s baby in the car Mama June bought him while she devours the posse tasked with hunting them down. And that’s the happy ending.

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Photo: Universal Pictures (h/t Johnny Barbells)

The Bill Cosby Meme Generator Went Well

November 11th, 2014 // 53 Comments

Yesterday, the absolutely have to be fired by now people in charge of Bill Cosby’s Twitter account thought it’d be a fantastic idea to ask Twitter to “meme him” not even three weeks after Hannibal Buress turned “Bill Cosby rape into a trending topic, so it doesn’t take a genius to figure out how all of that went. By the end of last night, the meme generator was completely pulled down even after a creative attempt to automatically clear any text fields that used the word “rape” (yup) because by that point the damage was already done. So here are our contributions that Photo Boy and I spent all morning making even though we could’ve called it a day after the Jennifer Lawrence nipple slip post. We could literally be taking naps right now. You have no idea.

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