The “media” will try and tell you that Selena Gomez is on this yacht with her new boyfriend Tommy Chiabra even though it’s obvious she’s having hot lesbian sex with Cara Delevingne who has the sort of soft, delicate hands she’s accustomed to. In fact, at one point, she even turned to Cara and said she heard that bloggers have even softer hands, unmarred by manual labor, athletics, and general exercise. Which Cara admitted she heard, too, and that they should probably look into that sooner than later. I saw the whole thing happen.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto
Over the past few months, Lana Del Rey has given a series of exhausting interviews that you haven’t seen on this site because I’m pretty sure I just said they were exhausting. Pay attention. And now she’s given a new one to Complex that has everybody all a tizzy because there is jackshit happening thanks to Comic-Con starting tomorrow. Anyway, this time around she’s complaining about banging industry people who promised her a record deal, and then didn’t, so let’s all pretend that’s super scandalous. Human beings touching fuck-parts for a variety of motives?! Why, I never…
There are a few different ways to take your song “Fucked My Way Up to the Top.” Is it about people not wanting to give you credit for your success? Or is it about fucking people to get to the top? It’s commentary, like, “I know what you think of me,” and I’m alluding to that. You know, I have slept with a lot of guys in the industry, but none of them helped me get my record deals. Which is annoying.
Keep in mind, she banged Marilyn Manson, Axl Rose, and presumably Lady Gaga and Lindsay Lohan at the same time, after she scored a record deal, so I’m guessing these industry types weren’t horrifying drug beasts the way she likes. I can see how that might be annoying. Not to mention Axl Rose at least offers you a ham sandwich when he’s done fucking you. He may have just found it under his bed, and it’s not so much a sandwich as a shoe with bologna in it, but it’s the thought that counts.
After being called to Justin Bieber‘s Beverly Hills condo six times over the weekend for noise violations from the parties he threw on both Saturday and Sunday night, the police have basically just said “fuck it” and are telling his neighbors to place him under citizen’s arrest if he does anymore stupid shit. TMZ reports:
People in the building tell TMZ … the hallways and elevators reeked of pot. And several guests say drug use was obvious.
One person says, “There were bimbos lining up to do drugs in the lobby bathroom.”
Law enforcement sources tell us … cops have spoken to residents, Bieber and his management to resolve the situation.
We’re told police informed residents cops can’t make an arrest for a misdemeanor if they don’t see it happen … but the residents can take matters into their own hands by placing Bieber under arrest.
In the meantime, I’ve taken the liberty of starting a GoFundMe account to get George Zimmerman moved into Justin Bieber’s building. That should clear this right up provided we all swallow our pride and admit that Justin Bieber’s right: He is the hardest, blackest rapper that ever lived. Black as night.
Photos: RMBI SPOT / Vantagenews / AKM-GSI
- What the hell is in Charlie Hunnam‘s backpack?! [Lainey Gossip]
- Billy Bob Thornton is fucking pissed about Cupcake Wars. PISSED. [Dlisted]
- Festival Girls Like To Have Fun [theCHIVE]
- Paris Hilton thinks she built her “empire” all by herself. [Fishwrapper]
- These are some weird-ass Nina Agdal bikini pics. I say that with love. [WWTDD]
- Kelli Berglund won the Guardians Of The Galaxy premiere. [Popoholic]
- Cameron Diaz walked out of a radio interview. [Starpulse]
- Rachel McAdams knows Lindsay Lohan can’t hurt her, right? It’s safe now. [tooFab]
- Jennifer Lopez is in a bikini. [IDLYITW]
- Taylor Swift‘s legs are still ridiculous. [Hollywood Tuna]
- What’s up, Marianne Fonseca? [Celebslam]
- That’s Candice Swanepoel‘s nipple. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
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Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, the daily post where we cull together the drunk, unintentional butt flashes, the sober, completely intentional butt flashes, Vin Diesel‘s stupid fucking face looking stupid as fuck, and Chadwick Boseman looking really excited about all the racist shit you guys are now going to say about him. Think of this post like it’s the afternoon snack that you know should be an apple, but is almost always candy and soda instead.
Diabetes. I’m saying that clicking through this post will give you diabetes in your brain,
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If I had to list Blake Lively‘s accomplishments in order, they’d be the following: More »
Just so we’re all clear what’s happening here: I’m already to the point where I can’t justify posting pics of LeAnn Rimes in a bikini just for the sake of posting LeAnn Rimes in a bikini because LeAnn Rimes is always in a bikini. I will, however, apparently post accusations that she shit herself with the most vaguest of evidence, so here’s a shot of LeAnn leaving a Miami Fashion Week runway show with something brown on the back of her dress thanks to eagle-eyed reader ana who was my strength where I had faltered: More »
Above are pictures of Selena Gomez and Cara Delevingne partying in St. Tropez which obviously raises the question: Is Selena Gomez a lesbian now? Granted, she looks pretty close to this dude, but Cara Delevingne is there. They’re practically kissing, but Cara Delevingne is there. Also, it’s not like Selena Gomez hasn’t repeatedly dated a lesbian before and essentially scarred her body when she wouldn’t return her affection. You can practically say she prefers them.
Photos: Instagram / INFphoto