Even Jennifer Lopez Has To Do Miley Cyrus Shit Now

June 30th, 2014 // 16 Comments

My last post had to do with things like war, compassion, human decency, but that’s not why most of you come here, and that poop can go fornicate itself as far you’re concerned. So here’s Jennifer Lopez performing at the iHeart Radio Ultimate Pool Party because what you do come here for is to look at celebrity butts and crotches instead of doing a job you’re paid for. Which is commendable, and I don’t say that enough. You’re an inspiration.

Photos: FAMA/AKM-GSI, INFphoto, Splash News

What Amy Adams Did Was Classy As Balls No Matter How You Feel About The War(s)

June 30th, 2014 // 68 Comments
Yes, War Is Bullshit
Russell Brand
No, That Is Not The Troops' Fault Read More »

On Friday, Amy Adams tried to quietly pull a super classy move by giving a soldier her first class seat on a flight from Detroit to Los Angeles. She discreetly arranged it with the flight crew and almost got away with it except ESPN2′s Jemele Hill happened to also be in first class and immediately blabbed to ABC News turning it into the biggest story of the day, almost all of it positive for Amy, who unfortunately got bombarded by Inside Edition as soon as she got off the plane. Where she also, by the way, politely posed for selfies with coach passengers (above). Anyway, my main point here is that, this being the Internet, it didn’t take long for contrarians to start shitting on her because troops are “killers and occupiers.” (That link is to a comment, not the post.) To which I say, oh, shut the fuck up. More »

Good Morning, Anais Zanotti, And Other News

June 30th, 2014 // 15 Comments

- Lindsay Lohan really is performing in a David Mamet play. Blowjobs are your friend, kids. [Lainey Gossip]

- Kelly Osbourne tattooed the side of her head. [Dlisted]

- She’s Got Legs For Days [theCHIVE]

- Willow Smith is getting Instagram tips from Kylie Jenner. Oh, good. [Fishwrapper]

- Funny Girl Sex Guide: Blowjob Techniques You (Maybe) Need To Try (Part 2!) [The Frisky]

- Naya Rivera in skin-tight jeans, anyone? [Popoholic]

- NBC will air Miley Cyrus‘s Bangerz Tour, but won’t let Constantine smoke. Makes sense. [Starpulse]

- Khloe Kardashian‘s ass implants had a birthday party. [tooFab]

- Selena Gomez is getting fake tits for Justin. (Interpret however you like.) [IDLYITW]

- Luci Ford is still very, very hot. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Brody Jenner is banging this (in a bikini) now. [Celebslam]

- Goddamn, Bianca Balti… [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.17

June 28th, 2014 // 15 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet that features yet another, remarkably robust showing and probably the best Tom Cruise joke I’ve ever seen in all my years of celebrity tit blogging. But enough about Midget Jesus The Levitating Space Prince, let’s get right into this week’s Long One™ which paints a scene so inspirational and heartwarming Christopher Reeve rose from the dead and kicked a horse in the face. I couldn’t believe it: More »

The Crap We Missed – Friday 6.27.14

June 27th, 2014 // 436 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, your last chance for the week to speculate on the quality of this woman’s feet. “Toes like baby shrimp, pfthftfthfthfthfth,” Quentin Tarantino would later hiss at homocide detectives from a holding cell. Or maybe you’d like to take a swing at the most clever rape joke for David Copperfield‘s new slot machines — One-armed bandits too on the nose? Yeah, I’ll just leave it up to you guys.

And don’t worry, slow people like me, I put the butts in for us,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Angel Haze On Ireland Baldwin: ‘We F*ck’

June 27th, 2014 // 54 Comments
Ireland Baldwin Is Single
Purple Haired Ireland Baldwin Grabbing Own Breast Yoga Pants
And I Clearly Never Stood A Chance Read More »

Ever since breaking up with Slater Trout (actual name), Ireland Baldwin has been constantly seen on Instagram with rapper Angel Haze who just confirmed to The Independent that the two fuck which just saved me from writing a post about Shia LaBeouf terrorizing a homeless guy before his arrest. Then again, that story is also rich with pussy. Anyway…

“I don’t know if there’s like some confirm or deny thing with the way relationships work in the media, but everyone just calls us best friends, best friends for life, like we’re just friends hanging out,” she told The Independent. “It’s funny. It’s rad in some ways, it sucks in others.”

“An interracial gay couple, I mean that’s just weird for America right now. We fuck and friends don’t fuck. I have never fucked one of my friends. Once I see you in that way, it doesn’t happen.
“But we do f**k and it’s crazy and that’s weird to say because I think about it in terms of an audience reading it and them thinking, ‘What the hell?’ But it happens.”

Of course, Ireland Baldwin has been all but saying those exact words on Instagram: More »

Jenny McCarthy’s Acting Like She Quit ‘The View’

June 27th, 2014 // 61 Comments
But She's So Smart!
Jenny McCarthy Derpface Daily News Readers Care To Feed The Hungry Canned Food Drive
Jenny McCarthy's Getting Fired From 'The View' Read More »

Earlier in the week, I posted that Jenny McCarthy was getting fired from The View because, well, she’s Jenny McCarthy. And that’s exactly what happened yesterday because apparently everyone but Whoopi Goldberg was let go. Except if you follow Jenny on Twitter, she’d have you believe she quit out of solidarity with Sherri Shepherd who’s the one that really got fired because not only is Jenny stupid, she’s also kind of racist. Albeit unintentionally because have I mentioned she’s stupid? Via People:

“The number 7 is God’s number of completion & after 7 seasons my time at The View is now complete! So grateful 2 every1 4 their love & support,” Shepherd announced on Twitter Thursday.
“Incredibly grateful to my second mom Barbara Walters for pushing me beyond my comfort zone – it’s been amazing doing it scared! #joy”
McCarthy echoed Shepherd’s sentiments on Twitter, writing, “If Sherri goes … I go too. #sisters”

When reached for comment, representatives at ABC said nothing because they all died of polio three weeks ago, and yet somehow Barbara Walters survived. It was almost like she knew. Almost like she knew…

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

And Now Russell Brand Demonstrating How Fox News Is A Terrorist Organization

June 27th, 2014 // 76 Comments
Russell Brand
WATCH: Russell Brand 'Fox News More Dangerous Than Isis'

What? You actually thought those Nina Agdal pics wouldn’t come with a price? Holy shit, you should see your faces right now. I’m gonna get a camera. Don’t move. (h/t Uproxx)

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