Kate Middleton Crop Dusting Kids Is The Crap We Missed

Kate Middleton dropping royal bombs, Ashton Kutcher’s plumber’s crack, Melanie Griffith in yoga pants, and Blac Chyna naked. It’s The Crap We Missed. More »


Julian Assange’s Penis Turned Pamela Anderson Into An MRA

Pamela Anderson probably has sex with Julian Assange, and now she wants to be an advocate for men “falsely accused of rape.” What a coincidence! More »


Father Of Madonna’s Adopted Twins Wants Them Back, Here We Go

The biological father of Madonna’s recently adopted twins claims he was tricked. This seems to be a pattern. More »


Justin Verlander Isn’t Sexing Kate Upton Enough

I’ve played baseball, and there’s no way that’s better than giant boobs. No way in hell. More »


‘Rogue One’ Blu-Ray Won’t Have The Deleted Scenes You’re Looking For

So remember how all the Rogue One trailers showed an almost entirely different movie? Disney doesn’t know what you’re talking about. You’re acting crazy. More »


Jenna Jameson Just Earned Herself A Cabinet Position

Dumb words fell out of Jenna Jameson’s wang trap about Milo and Muslims. More »


Somebody Made A Gold Statue Of Kanye West As Jesus

Oh, good, golden statues. Because we needed more signs of a coming apocalypse right now. Cool stuff. More »


Stuff Happened Around Katy Perry’s Boobs At The BRIT Awards

Katy Perry performed at the BRIT Awards and stuff that isn’t her boobs happened. I think. Don’t quote me on that. More »


Joanna Krupa Still Looks Like Sweet Goddamn And Other News

Charlie Hunnam’s King Arthur brings the sploosh. [Lainey Gossip]

Anthony Bourdain rebounded quickly. [Dlisted]

Kylie Jenner had a “business meeting.” Riiight. [TMZ]

How’s that Obamacare repeal going, guys? [Newser]

Your morning links. … More »


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