Michelle Rodriguez & Zac Efron Party Together, No Big Whoop, Wanna Fight About It?

July 3rd, 2014 // 9 Comments

Photo Boy had the top shot in The Crap We Missed yesterday, and now here’s the rest of Michelle Rodriguez partying with Zac Efron in Sardinia which seems random until you remember she was just hanging out with Boner Boy, so literally anything’s possible. The important thing is that this proves Zac Efron’s either a gay man in love with his mother’s breasts, a lesbian, or Old Man Winter. — I’m messing with you. The boat’s made of coke. The whole thing’s coke. If you check the underside, you’ll see Lindsay Lohan clinging to it.

Photos: CIAO/AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News

Holy Crap, It’s Superman! In The Same Exact Costume As The Other Movie

July 3rd, 2014 // 34 Comments

Following Batfleck and the constant barrage of casting news because they’re shoving 800 superheroes in this thing (Blue Beetle, anyone?), it’s been way too easy to forget about Henry Cavill despite his character’s name being one of the 20 words in the title. So to fix all that, Warner Bros. released the first official image of Superman in Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, and surprise, he looks exactly like he did in the first movie right down to the Krypton cock bulge. (How do you not look at it?) As for what he’s doing in 19th century Britain is anybody’s guess. Were rain storms grittier to brood in back then? I’m not a meteorologist.

Photo: Warner Bros.

Good Morning, Giant Cow Udders, And Other News

July 3rd, 2014 // 21 Comments

- Ryan Gosling fucking hated working with Rachel McAdams on The Notebook. [Lainey Gossip]

- Tori & Dean landed ANOTHER reality show. Fuck this entire world. [Dlisted]

- “Real Life Elsa” Anna Faith poses for Chive. [theCHIVE]

- Cameron Diaz doesn’t give a fuck about having kids. [Fishwrapper]

- WWE Diva Emma stole an iPad case from Walmart, is no longer a Diva. [WWTDD]

- That’s a man, baby. [Popoholic]

- Jewel‘s single, everybody who’s still trapped in 1998. [Starpulse]

- Melissa Joan Hart is still posting swimsuit pics. [tooFab]

- Good God, Tetyana Veryovkina. [Hollywood Tuna]

- This probably isn’t Lily Allen‘s vagina, but you’ll still click anyway. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 7.2.14

July 2nd, 2014 // 431 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we’re still holding strong with another robust gallery this holiday week, so stay tuned, because tomorrow I’m pretty sure we’re going to run our ninth update on the Kendra Wilkinson story after she trips over her own foot in front on her way into the airport which clearly indicates her husband’s penchant for paying to jerk people off. *uses Bachelor’s degree to wipe Manwich off face* So until then, please enjoy shiny new lesbian Ireland Baldwin in a bikini and the rest of the pictures that you’re now voraciously clicking through after following that link straight into an FBI database.

/r/CondomsAndZima,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Shia LaBeouf Isn’t In Rehab, He’s In AA

July 2nd, 2014 // 12 Comments
Shia LaBeouf AA

Following his arrest for playing Marlboro Man Grab-Ass during a production of Cabaret, there were reports that Shia LaBeouf checked into rehab. Which apparently isn’t true, but his rep told TMZ he is attending AA meetings now making the real story here that Shia LaBeouf somehow has a rep. What the hell is that job like? “Sir, sir, I’m sure it looked like my client was trying to steal a homeless man’s food, but maybe the homeless man agreed to be hunted for sport? They do that sometimes. I saw a documentary on it with Ice-T. Riveting, stuff, just riveting. Now, if you’ll excuse, Mr. LaBeouf has a 10:30 restaurant pissing to attend. He’s quite European, you know.”

Photo: Splash News

Lindsay Lohan Actually Sued ‘Grand Theft Auto V’

July 2nd, 2014 // 36 Comments
There Is No God
Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Groped By Charlie Sheen Scary Movie 5
Lindsay Lohan Made It To 28 Read More »

As a bizarre 28th birthday present to herself, Lindsay Lohan officially filed her lawsuit against the makers of Grand Theft Auto V this morning despite it being proven completely horseshit back in December when she was drumming up press. Yahoo! Finance reports:

Lohan’s suit says a character named Lacey Jonas is an “unequivocal” reference to the “Mean Girls” and “Freaky Friday” star.
The suit says Lohan’s image, voice and styles from her clothing line are depicted. It says the game features West Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont hotel, where Lohan once lived.

I’m not going to waste my time going over this again, but to anyone even remotely familiar with celebrities, the character is a blatant satirical mash-up of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and, yes, Lindsay Lohan who are all public figures and subject to such. As for the game featuring Chateau Marmont, it has, again, a satirical version of it – with a completely different name – and I know Lindsay would love to believe she’s super synonymous with the place, but literally every fucking celebrity in Hollywood parties and stays there at any given moment. As for why her lawyer hasn’t explained to her that this case is dead right out of the gate, sometimes it’s fun to work pro bono. (Pro bono is Latin for “bongs the dick,” right? I could never make it through John Grisham novels.)

Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Kendra’s Breasts Aren’t Wearing A Wedding Ring

July 2nd, 2014 // 18 Comments
Kendra's Moving Out
Kendra Wilkinson Bikini
Beats Growing
A Penis Read More »

Yesterday, because we’re in the middle of the whiz-bang, non-stop action vortex of the days before a holiday weekend, I posted about Kendra Wilkinson flushing her wedding ring down the toilet because it was given to her by a man who swore solemn vows of faithfulness only to turn around and give a transsexual $500 in exchange for mutual handjobs. It was a taut thriller as much as it was a childhood limerick. And now here she is in public without said ring even though just 30 seconds of conversations with Kendra would make “maybe she swallowed it” the most likely scenario. Regardless, there are at least five other more important things my trained eye noticed in these photographs: More »

Beyonce’s Changing Song Lyrics To Make It Sound Like Jay Z Cheated On Her Now

July 2nd, 2014 // 11 Comments
Beyonce Faces Are Back
Beyonce Butt Jay Z On The Run Tour Opening Night
Her Publicist Should Love These Read More »

It sounds like Beyonce could really use that yoga weekend with Gwyneth Paltrow – I’m joking. That’s Nazi shit. – because apparently she’s changing song lyrics to make it sound like Jay Z definitely cheated on her. And did I mention she’s doing this while she’s on tour with him? She’s doing this while she’s on tour with him. Via Jezebel:

The original lyrics are, “I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good / Like I couldn’t do it for you like your mistress could/Been ridin’ with you for six years [...] I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me.”
The lyrics she performed are — with changes in bold, “I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good / Like I couldn’t do it for you like that wack bitch could/Been ridin’ with you for twelve years [...] I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me. She ain’t even half of me. That bitch will never be.”

When reached for comment, Jay Z said, “Lyrics? Shit, man, I just stare at her ass when I’m up there. She been saying words all them times? Damn. That’s the strangest thing any mothafucka’s ever told me. Bitch’s song got words. Like real ones? In English? Damn…”

Photos: Getty