Here’s Cameron Diaz in Miami yesterday, and since I’m a blogger of sheer sexual delight, I’ll just go ahead and link to hottest pic of the bunch. It’s like looking at a whole other person, right? She could be literally anyone but Cameron Diaz and all the Cameron Diaz face that comes with- wait, why I am even mentioning it? Holy shit, it’s controlling my thoughts! I knew it was evil! ABANDON POST.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News
Now that she’s finally ditched her abusive fiance for the second time, Sofia Vergara is free to find a real man who won’t shill salad toppings at the White House because he’s too busy looking at his rippling abs glistening in the morning sun, just waiting to be touched in a sea of strong, yet supple ruggedness that will transport you to a land of pleasure spoken only of by kings. To even think about it, causes sweat to bead upon the brow as reason gives way to passion and time is but a stallion to be broken and tamed in a fiery tempest leaving only one word upon your lips, “Mangianello. Mangianello…”
I mean, Fuck her right in the pussy! Yup, that’s what I wrote, and not a single word about a rippling sea of abs. You saw what you wanted to see back there. That’s all I’m going to say.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News
- Ladies don’t love cool Leonardo. [Lainey Gossip]
- George Clooney‘s future mother-in-law sounds fun. [Dlisted]
- Tabitha Lipkin is keeping it classy, San Diego. [theCHIVE]
- Mila Kunis‘ coolness was a disguise to hide her life-long love of Asthon Kutcher. [Fishwrapper]
- Jessica Alba, also technically in a bikini. [WWTDD]
- Kaley Cuoco‘s technically in a bikini. [Popoholic]
- Demi Lovato hates Selena Gomez now. [Starpulse]
- David Arquette got engaged a week after Courteney Cox if anyone gives a shit. [tooFab]
- Megan Fox is on Instagram now. [IDLYITW]
- Helen Flanagan just made me very interested in tennis. [Hollywood Tuna]
- It’s Rihanna‘s nipples again. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
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Photos: Pacific Coast News
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you after a long holiday weekend during the summer, so bikinis. There’s plenty of bikinis in here. As well as Shemar Moore molesting some of the women inhabiting them on a public beach. It was almost the quintessential American compilation until white British Samuel L. Jacskson jumped into the mix and Pamela Anderson‘s deflating boob reminded us that all great things eventually wither and die from careless encounters with hepatitis-infected penises.
Except for shots of Mel Gibson looking shit-faced and about to pirouette. Let’s hope that never ends,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
If you’re like me, you probably saw the above pic floating around Facebook over the weekend and wondered what the retarded backstory was behind it. Turns out it involved the perfect storm of thinking Bristol Palin has a great idea and taking American Christian conservatism to its logical extreme. You see, Holly Fisher a.k.a. “Holly Hobby Lobby“, who you’ll never guess is from West Virginia (Sorry, GW.), apparently tweets photos to troll liberals like posing in front of Hobby Lobby in a Pro-Life T-shirt while holding a Chick-Fil-a cup. Stupid shit that will be real funny someday when one of her three kids ends up being gay or knocks somebody up in high school. Except apparently her followers didn’t think she was America enough yet and prompted her to add more guns, Bibles and flags, so she posed for the above pic (sans the second terrorist) and then the Internet happened. And surprisingly without making Superman buttsex Batman or turning her into a Game of Thrones GIF. I don’t even know who you people are anymore.
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Kanye West made a conscious decision to marry Kim Kardashian, a woman who won’t even stop to pick up toilet paper without tipping off the paparazzi, so he really should’ve come to terms with how things are going to work until he eventually leaves her. But that would require Kanye to not be an insane primadonna who rants for 15 minutes in the middle of the songs, so here he is at the Wireless Festival in London where he played the “getting your picture taken is like rape” card that always goes over well. Right, Charlize Theron? Right. Via The Independent: More »
Despite directing one of the worst movies of Ben Affleck‘s career and not speaking to him for years, Kevin Smith has somehow had unprecedented access to Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice‘s development. Turns out he may or may not have been commissioned by Warner Bros. to write a fake script as part of a misinformation campaign that this information itself could just as well be a part of. Think Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, but nobody gets laid. Movieweb reports: More »
Here’s how that’s working out.
Photos: FAMA/AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News