Is Kylie Jenner Dating Tyga? A Post With Kim Kardashian’s Nipple In It

October 13th, 2014 // 44 Comments

There’s a persistent rumor going around that 17-year-old Kylie Jenner is dating Tyga, a 25-year-old rapper, which her family denies so you know it’s definitely happening. And while that seems questionable as hell, you can see Kim Kardashian‘s nipples through her dress, so let’s focus on that and let Kylie’s mother worry about that other stuff along with the lighting for the sex tape. “They’re so hard to capture on film, right? Ohmygod, is that racist? I don’t care I just ate a whole baby.”

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Photos: AKM-GSI

How Do You Replace Kelly Brook With This?

October 13th, 2014 // 34 Comments

Two weeks ago, we learned that Kelly Brook is single thanks to David McIntosh cheating on her. And now here he is with his new girlfriend Metisha Schaefer, who isn’t even the woman he cheated with, because the man’s 2% body fat and apparently has an erection 24/7, so the world is his oyster. And yet he went with not-Kelly Brook. Does he hate breasts? Did one murder his mother? Help me understand.

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Photos: FAMA/AKM-GSI, Splash News

There’s The Snappening Now

October 13th, 2014 // 16 Comments

After The Fappening realized it was leaking pictures of Nick Hogan and shot itself in the face (It’s a working theory.), the time was right for The Snappening, a new hack of SnapChat resulting in over 90,000 photos leaked online yesterday. Except one small problem, besides being illegal as fuck, SnapChat is widely used by kids between the ages of 13 and 17. Whoops. Via The Daily Beast:

This whole episode is of particular worry to Snapchat users since the photo and video messaging service’s claim to fame is that the sent file self-destructs after viewing—not in the Mission: Impossible sense, but that it disappears from one’s mobile device and is scrubbed from Snapchat’s company servers. Because of its “self-destruct” reputation, the app is a popular tool among youngsters for transmitting sexually explicit material. Snapchat claims that 50 percent of its users are between 13-17 years of age, this potentially brings “The Snappening” into child pornography territory.

In SnapChat’s defense, the whole issue allegedly springs from a third-party app called SnapSaved.com which allowed users to store photos and videos that should’ve been “self-destructed,” according to Business Insider. As for which celebrities were hacked, I honestly have no clue, so I just used Vanessa Hudgens pics because there are always Vanessa Hudgens pics. You could hack a toaster, and her vagina pics would be inside. Spread eagle shots are but the canvas upon which she shares her art.

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Photos: Pacific Coast News

Kat Dennings’ Breasts Are Dating Josh Groban

October 13th, 2014 // 29 Comments

Josh Groban‘s voice has the gift to unlock powerful emotions that you never thought you were capable of experiencing. Kat Dennings’ breasts do exactly the same thing only on a much deeper spiritual level that’s capable of bathing all of humanity in a warm golden light while ushering in a new age of peace and prosperity, so let’s be honest, what’s he bringing to the table here? Besides talent, boyishly good looks, money, and by most accounts, a charming personality. Ignore all that for a second.

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Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

You Take A Run At Martha Stewart, You Best Not Miss

October 13th, 2014 // 71 Comments
Martha Stewart Gwyneth Paltrow Conscious Coupling
We're Competition!
Gwyneth Paltrow
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Last month, Martha Stewart took an open crack at Gwyneth Paltrow which apparently was the opening salvo in a turf war because bitch just went to the mattresses, and holy shit, is it a good thing. From a recipe titled “Conscious Coupling” (above) in the latest issue of Martha Stewart Living:

Every Thanksgiving table should be blessed with the presence of a long-married pair who bring out the best in each other, are completely enamored despite their differences, and leave every other guest thinking, I’ll have what they’re having. Our holiday pies honor such so there’s a pleasant mix of textures and flavors in every bite. No matter how you slice partnerships, each spotlighting the perfect marriage of crust and filling these six irresistible desserts, there is a whole lot to love.

And that was Gwyneth Paltrow’s detached spine dangling in Martha Stewart’s hands before becoming a beautiful centerpiece that complements your Christmas ham.

SHADETALITY!

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Taylor Swift’s Cat Is Hitler And Everyone Hates It

October 13th, 2014 // 32 Comments

During a recent appearance on The Graham Norton Show, John Cleese asked Taylor Swift right to her face if her cat was in an accident because it looked “damaged.” And I’ll be the first to say, who could ever possibly give a shit? Except this is the Internet, and the Internet is 90% cat photos and porn, so naturally the whole thing lit up with, “LOLOLOLOLOL what a stupid cat” because apparently our greatest first world problem is having to look at Taylor Swift’s deformed cat. Unless, wait a minute, is it hurting her legs? Is that furry retard fucking up her legs?! I’LL THROW IT OFF A BRIDGE! *rummages for burlap sack*

John Cleese Insults Taylor Swift’s Cat After The Jump

Heath Ledger’s Joker In A Bikini And Other News

October 13th, 2014 // 19 Comments

- Some Benedict Cumberbatch suit porn? [Lainey Gossip]

- Cameron Diaz might be engaged to Benji Madden. [Dlisted]

- Bad Girls Bend And Snap [theCHIVE]

- Farrah Abraham‘s in a non-pornographic film? That can’t be right. [Fishwrapper]

- The Dumbest Things Steve Harvey Ever Said About Love And Vaginas [The Frisky]

- The girls of Fifth Harmony are in bikinis. [WWTDD]

- PSA: Not knowing who a celebrity is does not make you an intellectual. [Death and Taxes]

- This is a 12-year-old girl. Call her Ariana Grande, or whatever you want, she’s 12. [Popoholic]

- Does Sasquatch want Kim’s old job? What the hell’s happening here? [tooFab]

- Katy Perry is probably your Super Bowl halftime show. [IDLYITW]

- Sofia Vergara‘s in good shape. [Hollywood Tuna]

- What the hell is Christina Hendricks wearing? [Celebslam]

- Scarlett Johansson apparently has a better ass after giving birth. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- And I start using Tumblr again if anyone gives a shit. [Yeah But Dinosaurs]

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Photos: FameFlynet

Amanda Bynes 5150′d Because of Sam Lutfi. Again.

October 13th, 2014 // 11 Comments
Just Kidding!
Amanda Bynes Smoking Joint On Street NYC
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When Amanda Bynes was first put on a 5150 hold, it was because Sam Lutfi – Yup, the dude who was drugging Britney Spears. – bought her a plane ticket from New York to LA where she proceeded to light a woman’s driveway on fire using her dog for the wick. Turns out she’s been talking to him again, only this time he coordinated with her parents to trick her into thinking a car service at LAX would take her to a lawyer when instead it went right to the hospital. TMZ reports:

We now have more clarification as to how Lutfi pulled it off. He told Amanda her car would be making 2 stops. First, to the lawyer’s office in Pasadena and then to the London Hotel in West Hollywood where she would confront her parents and tell them about the lawsuit.
She never got to the London, because the driver went to a Pasadena hospital which looked like an office building. Amanda thought she was going to see the lawyer but when she walked inside she was surrounded by hospital staff.

So good news, Amanda Bynes is finally getting the help she needs. Bad news, Sam Lutfi is still floating around in the background going, “Bring me the diamond in the rough…” and hypnotizing her parents with a snake staff. Nothing’s ever simple.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News, TROV/AKM-GSI