Considering they both have a penchant for letting Terry Richardson feed them coke to bend them to his wishes, it was only a matter of time before Miley Cyrus and Jared Leto fell on top of each other naked. And that time is now. Us Weekly reports:
Miley Cyrus and Jared Leto “are hooking up,” a source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. “She stayed over at his house in L.A. in early February.”
Recently, though, their bond has deepened, a third insider says. “They like to have a good time, they love to talk about art and music — and they’re both comfortable with nudity!”
Not so much with commitment, though. “Jared doesn’t do girlfriends,” a pal tells Us of the 30 Seconds to Mars frontman. Luckily for him, Cyrus, too, is just looking to have fun at the moment. “I’m, like, not trying to jump into a relationship,” Liam Hemsworth’s ex-fiancee told W.
xxx-xxx-xxxx: lol dude they think I'm miley cyrus
xxx-xxx-xxxx: toldja it would work. see you 2 nite bizzle
xxx-xxx-xxxx: oh terry says don't wear underwear this time
Photos: Getty / CYVR/AKM-GSI, Splash News
Despite having Chris Martin‘s initial tattooed on her pubic bone, Defamer (via former Gawker editor’s Neetzan Zimmerman‘s new startup app Whisper) is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow had or is having an affair with Kevin Yorn. Whether that’s on top of or in place of the one she was reportedly having with millionaire hotel owner Jeff Sober is never really mentioned, but supposedly this is the real affair that Vanity Fair found out about, but then decided not to publish because celebrities won’t let you tongue their buttholes if you talk about the other tongues going into their buttholes. It’s a butthole eat butthole business. I can’t stress that enough. *scooches forward in seat* What?
Photos: Splash News
According to Us Weekly, Leighton Meester secretly married Adam Brody which is incredible news because according to my eyes, I have fantastic bikini photos of her ass which I will use any excuse to post. I could’ve heard a story about Leighton Meester seeing a puppy, and you’d be staring deep in her butt wondering if God will ever make anything so beautiful again. Which he won’t because you touch yourself. He told me to tell you that.
Presumably because Vin Diesel always talks about cars when they do it, or she has amnesia again (Damn your undercover missions, Paul Walker. DAMN THEM TO HELL.), Michelle Rodriguez confirmed to The Mirror that she’s dating Cara Delevingne. Which is cool, it’s 2014. Lesbians be free to lesbianate. I’m just concerned with what happened to the Dos Equis guy. He has a heart, too, goddammit. *rereads notes* I’m sorry, did I say heart? I meant a zeal for life that just fingerbanged your mom into Carcosa. I always get those two confused.
Photos: Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
- Selena Gomez is probably banging Niall Horan. [Lainey Gossip]
- Eddie Cibrian wants Brandi Glanville to pay him child support now. [Dlisted]
- Kayla DeLancey will be your Hump Day Ambassador today. [theCHIVE]
- Miley Cyrus will put your thong in her mouth. [Fishwrapper]
- 15 Ridiculous Sexual Things Guys Actually Believe Women Do When They’re Not Around [The Frisky]
- Sharon Stone (Photoshopped) into a bikini. [tooFab]
- Bill O’Reilly thinks the Internet is making you a dummy. [BuzzFeed]
- Agent Scully cleavage, anyone? [Popoholic]
- Anastasia Ashley made the SI Swimsuit Issue. [IDLYITW]
- Brittney Palmer is the Picasso of boobs. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Helen Flanagan in lingerie. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
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Photos: Pacific Coast News
Thanks to a shameless cross-promotion where Disney made you watch the trailer for a Disney movie during the middle of a Disney show, here’s the official trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy that premiered last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, but only after an awkward sketch with Jon Snow, you sonofabitch, I wanted my machine gun raccoon. Anyway, this thing basically had two hurdles to overcome to rocket it to 1.8 million views where it’s currently at: 1. Look better than whatever the hell that shit was at the end of Thor: The Dark World. 2. Show the raccoon with a machine gun. Of course, that’s me pretending to be Kid Savvy Show Business when really all I need to see is “PEW PEW SPACE SUPERHERO LASER BEAMS!” and I’ll run into a theater with a $10 bill impaled on my cock demanding admittance. I’m a simple man.
UPDATE: Here’s io9‘s always excellent screencap-by-screencap rundown, so everyone in your office can ask you about that raccoon movie with the green boobs. Finally, your moment to shine!
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Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where since we’ve already posted Alec Baldwin‘s wife’s nipples, we decided to lead this thing off with his daugther Ireland‘s butt, because bears are stupid animals that deserve no respect is what my boss told me, sir, I swear to you it was him. *dips Fish in honey, tosses into woods, climbs tree* Also, this post is on the heels of my three-day hiatus which means it’s crammed tighter than this denim, stretching all the way back to Valentine’s Day just for this shot of Pope Francis. I don’t know why, but the context seemed important on that one. Normally it’s just random royalty shitting themselves, 1986 Christie Brinkley‘s time-traveling hijinks and Instagram quasi-nudes, but the Pope with his special Valentine…
Didn’t want to let that one go unnoticed (Their track record with children isn’t great is what I’m getting at),
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN