- Jessica Alba is a furniture designer now. [Lainey Gossip]
- What’s up, Lil Kim‘s Tri-Boob? [Dlisted]
- Chivettes Bored At Work [theCHIVE]
- Kim Zolciak‘s pregnant again. [tooFab]
- Some guy tried to stab himself out The TODAY Show, did not scream, “Kanye West says hello, Lauer.” [BuzzFeed]
- Deborah Mace is your new swimsuit model. [Popoholic]
- Katy Perry‘s breasts are apparently going to be on Kroll Show. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Amy Adams‘ nipple, anyone? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Kate Winslet let a man named Ned Rocknroll knock her up. [FilmDrunk]
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Photos: Splash News
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m sure you guys are going to jump all over Shia LaBeouf‘s Che Guevara t-shirt until you realize how truly revolutionary it is to continue to rake in millions from the system you supposedly despise only to subvert the whole thing with a piece of clothing manufactured literally by third world slaves to one of the most capitalist of all industries, fashion. Wait. Ok, go ahead and fuck him up. While you’re at it, take a shot at Kat Von D and her friend who must have the proudest dad in the world, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Douche and Roman Coppola upholding the proud tradition of film directors with that first name.
He looks like a rapist is what I’m getting at,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
So Photo Boy just said you people probably prefer celebrity breasts over blurry pics of comic book villains which there’s no way that’s right (Winter Soldier, bitch!), but to shut him up, here’s Miley Cyrus trying to discourage the paparazzi from taking pictures of her by holding her purse up to her face exposing her entire torso and an underboob. A plan that completely worked because these haven’t been heavily circulated at all around the Internet today. This is the first anyone has seen of them. The first anyone has seen of them.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
It got a little heavy around here, so let’s geek out for a minute at these latest set photos from Captain America: The Winter Soldier where we actually get to see the Winter Soldier who’s Bucky if you didn’t know that already. Which hopefully Marvel was banking on being a huge spoiler considering how badly Star Trek Into Darkness‘ big reveal shat out, IMDB lists Sebastian Stan as “Bucky/Winter Soldier,” and the concept’s from an old, highly-publicized Captain America storyline. Which I recommend checking out if you’re tired of having sex with vaginas. I mean, they can’t be better than a good comic book can they? (The answer I’m looking for here is “Fuck no,” and try to really sell it to me.)
Photos: Splash News
So this happened. ET Online reports:
Debbie Rowe has confirmed exclusively to Entertainment Tonight that Paris Jackson tried to commit suicide and is currently in a Los Angeles hospital.
She was rushed to the hospital with cuts on her wrist in the early morning hours. Rowe tells ET that Jackson has had “a lot going on [lately].”
Normally this is the part where everyone makes some sort of snarky remark about suicide being a selfish act, blah blah blah, but in this case, we should probably shut the hell up because I don’t know how a still-developing teenage mind even begins to reconcile this world after being raised by Michael Jackson. Christ, she saw the man die during his daily anesthesia binge and God knows what else. If Paris Jackson‘s life was a poker hand, it’d be three Uno cards and a dead monkey. Hang in there, kid.
Just to make my joke about Kanye West and Kim Kardashian from earlier today extra poignanty, here’s In Touch reporting he won’t be in the delivery room because blood is icky:
In Touch can exclusively reveal that although Kanye has assured his pregnant girlfriend Kim Kardashian he plans to be at the hospital when she goes into labor, “he won’t physically be in the delivery room,” an insider tells the mag, on newsstands now, adding, “He’s very squeamish and doesn’t want to be around blood.”
In Kanye’s defense, we should all honestly be surprised he’s going to be in the same building as Kim let alone the same country, but just for the record, he does know that if he’s not in the delivery room, they can still prove he’s the father, right? That’s just an old wives’ tale.
Photos: Getty, WENN