Hey, Look, Scarlett Johansson Made A Sequel To ‘Limitless’

April 3rd, 2014 // 15 Comments
Scarlett Johansson Lucy
WATCH: 'Lucy' - Official Trailer

Here’s the trailer for Lucy starring Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow a young woman who gets slut-shamed by the Japanese into becoming Black Widow a walking Matrix with boobs, or something. (I shot my load with the Limitless headline. You got me.)

Selena Gomez Is Banging Orlando Bloom

April 3rd, 2014 // 31 Comments
The Internet Just Broke
Miranda Kerr Nude GQ British
Miranda Kerr Wants To Bang Chicks Read More »

Considering Miranda Kerr cheated on Orlando Bloom with Justin Bieber, it seems only fair that he’d get to bang Selena Gomez, and so he is much to the dismay of #BBare. Via Hollywood Life:

Justin Bieber, 20, is furious over Selena Gomez, 21, allegedly flirting with Orlando Bloom. The Biebs is used to being “king of the hill” when it comes to his lady-love’s affections, so this latest interaction between Selena, and Orlando must be a huge slap in the face to the troubled pop bad-boy.
Selena and Orlando recently participated in the We Day California conference on March 26. The 21-year-old singer gave a moving speech and later, backstage, posed with Orlando and Seth Rogen — who has been one of Justin’s biggest haters.

When reached for comment King Murple Surple Joffery Bizzle Bare reportedly slammed down his grape soda and refused to answer any questions about, “no LEGO lists” before referring to himself as “a Mega Bloks mothafucka” who builds “castles in dem panties.” A spokesperson elaborated that he gets like this before a nap and suggested coming back at a later time with some juice boxes. Preferably Juicy Juice unless “you want to see what it’s like getting shot in the face while holding a 10-pack of Minute Maid.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

Mariah Carey Reacted To Nick Cannon Banging Kim Kardashian In Most Mariah Carey Way Possible

April 3rd, 2014 // 35 Comments
Nick Cannon Is Black
Kim Kardashian Breasts Cleavage
Everything Checks Out Here Read More »

Last week, during a promotional interview for his new album “White People Party Music“, Nick Cannon rattled off the names of five celebrities he slept with including Kim Kardashian and his wife Mariah Carey who sent him into his next interview with specific instructions on what to say about that shit. Via Gossip Cop:

Stern said he heard Carey was upset about a previous chat where he opened up about Kardashian, and Cannon made a surprising admission in reply.
She doesn’t even know who Kim Kardashian is,” he said, adding, “She doesn’t pay attention to that.”

Like most of you, my first reaction was to think there’s no way in hell Mariah Carey doesn’t know who Kim Kardashian is. But then I thought of something that would actually make this completely possible: Kim Kardashian isn’t Mariah Carey. And neither is Nick Cannon, so it’s a goddamn miracle she even knows who he is which I’ll never believe she does and you can’t make me.

Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Splash News

James Franco Tried To Bang A 17-Year-Old

April 3rd, 2014 // 72 Comments
James Franco Instagram

Below is a video of James Franco spotting 17-year-old Lucy from Scotland outside of Of Mice And Men Tuesday night and specifically telling her to “tag” him on Instagram when she puts it up because he’s just a cool, friendly Hollywood actor who loves his fans. Mostly in the vagina: More »

Megan Fox Had A Baby 7 Weeks Ago. 7 Weeks.

April 3rd, 2014 // 15 Comments

If you read yesterday’s Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s post, you probably think I’m part of the problem and perpetuate an unrealistic media image of how women should look post-pregnancy. Which couldn’t be farther from the truth. Look at how I’m posting these pics of Megan Fox on the set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles yesterday and highlighting how amazing her ass looks after just giving birth seven weeks ago thus inspiring other new moms to constantly think about why their ass doesn’t like that for weeks if not months on end. I’m helping.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, GEVA/AKM-GSI

Good Goddamn Morning, Hilary Duff, And Other News

April 3rd, 2014 // 17 Comments

- Tom Hiddleston‘s new Jaguar ad, anyone? [Lainey Gossip]

- Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had an open marriage. You think? [Dlisted]

- A World Without Redheads Is An Existence I Want No Part Of [theCHIVE]

- Seth Rogen really wants to bang Zac Efron. [Fishwrapper]

- Infographic: The Cum Rag Hierarchy because some of you bastards are using toilet paper. [The Frisky]

- What’s up, Lucy Watson in FHM? [Popoholic]

- Miley Cyrus‘ dog died, so naturally she milked it onstage. [tooFab]

- Kanye West doesn’t care about Australians. [IDLYITW]

- Michelle Lewin‘s ass is still awesome. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Selena Gomez is not doing well. [Celebslam]

- This assistant tell-all is totally about Judi Dench. It’s so obvious. [FilmDrunk]

- Kendall Jenner‘s ass whore powers are growing. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Xposure/AKM-GSI

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.2.14

April 2nd, 2014 // 387 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed capping off another hump day — pretty appropriately I might add — considering we chose to include this photo of a rapist. Whoever that guy is, he rapes. We’ve also got Arnold Schwarzenegger who apparently hangs out with Kelsey Grammer now, so if you’re like me, you’ll probably have to just stop there for several hours contemplating the brain-melting conversations those two have.

“Mr. Governor, I’d like to introduce you to my lovely wife, Kayte.”
“I zee you eenjoy hafing zex vissout condoms. Do you own a mop?”

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN