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Thank You, Shane Black

'Iron Man 3'
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So spoiler alert: Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t die in Iron Man 3, and apparently she’s already been talking about her own solo movie because a.) some journalists patronized her during the premiere and b.) it’s another excuse to talk about how awesome Gwyneth Paltrow is at getting in shape. “Nigga, I’ll live off of falafel lint for a month,” is something I imagine her saying to a cardboard cutout of Beyonce. Via Babble:

How does it feel, as Pepper, to be that strong?
I loved it so much. You know, I was getting kind of like, come on, guys. Pepper, like, let’s- come on, like, all these boys are flying around doing all this fun stuff, and I loved how patient and kind and sweet Pepper is. But when I read this script, I was like, “oh yeah!” She’s in the suit and flying around, and I loved doing the stunts. As I said, I really had never done anything like that before and it was really fun. I felt like I should’ve been doing this my whole life. It’s like, “why am I doing all these period films. it’s so boring.”
…
Are we gonna see you in more action films?
I don’t know. I would actually really like to, but really, am I old now to start, like, you know, being in action movies. I would like to. The nice thing is that everybody’s sort of been very sweet about Pepper in this movie, like all the journalists who came in. They were like, “oh my God, you have to have your own movie,” because in the comics, Pepper gets her own suit, and she becomes a character called Rescue. They’re like, we need a Rescue movie, and I’m like, okay, well, I’d better hit the gym.

Of course, the end of Iron Man 3 never fully address how things worked out for Pepper and why not leave her pumped full of Extremis just like (maybe) Tony? In fact, if the solo movie has at least two scenes of them shooting fire from and at each others’ sex parts, I’d probably pay money to see that which makes me part of the problem. I’m why we can’t have nice things.

Photos: Getty, WENN

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