After a rough take-off, I grew to love Hayden Panettiere‘s implants, but not to the point where I forgot she’s still a woman with other body parts for me to objectify. It was a beautiful symbiotic relationship if there ever was one. Except something’s going terribly wrong because now they’re trying to suck me into a dimensional vortex where on the other side she’s the giant, and I’m the midget in a cheerleader outfit. Although, if I got implants, I could simply slide back to our universe through my own tit-wormhole after learning all of their reverse-human secrets. Make it so! *dives headfirst into monitor, ricochets to the floor unconscious*
Photos: Getty, Splash News
Seriously, that woman’s skin is sloughing right off her body! Why isn’t anybody- Oh, shit, it’s Tara Reid. This is, uh, this is embarrassing. I’m gonna leave now. I should go. *whistles, ducks out door*
Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News
If you’ve never really liked Seth Rogen or James Franco, now’s a good time to rethink that stance because here’s their shot-for-shot remake of Kanye West‘s “Bound 2″ video where he bangs a topless Kim Kardashian while riding a motorcycle. I also want to point out that Photo Boy’s first reaction was, “We should’ve made this,” because one time he told me had a dream about my penis. That’s the only way to explain that.
Kanye West & Kim Kardashian’s ‘Bound 2′ After The Jump
Here’s the rest of The 2013 American Music Awards which is almost entirely an excuse to post pics of Aubrey O’Day‘s breasts because we have Christ in our hearts. Then again, the presence of Ke$ha suggests maybe it’s Satan. I’m not a priest.
Katy Perry has been keeping her breasts under wraps lately because she’s a very serious artist now who can’t be taken very seriously if her giant tits are all up in your face. Which is obviously a bullshit excuse because it makes no sense, so I’ll just come right out and say it: John Mayer beats her if she shows them to anyone else. She made me promise not to tell, but it’s for her own good. She’ll thank me later.
MILEY CYRUS HAS A GIANT CAT PHOTO THAT ALSO WORKS AS A VAGINA JOKE.
Get back in your egg.