Help Me, Hilary Duff’s Butt In Tight Jeans, You’re My Only Hope

October 8th, 2014 // 15 Comments

Here’s Hilary Duff‘s butt in tight jeans on the set of Good Morning America yesterday where nobody talked about putting their child’s penis in their mouth, so I’m just going to sit here for a while hugging my monitor and quietly weeping until her ass consumes my every thought and I’m back to normal again. Shouldn’t be long.

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Photos: INFphoto, Splash News

Stephen Collins Allegedly Made Comments About Molesting His Own Kids

October 8th, 2014 // 75 Comments
Stephen Collins
The Dad From 7th Heaven?
Stephen Collins
Molested Kids? Holy Shit Read More »

So here’s what’s happening: I’m going to update you on all the horrible ass shit coming out of the Stephen Collins child molestation fiasco, and then immediately bury my face in new pics of Hilary Duff‘s butt because goddamn everything about this. Specifically this email Faye Grant allegedly sent Stephen after he admitted to molesting children and she turned him into the police in 2012. TMZ reports:

“The comment you made just before I gave birth to our daughter when you said you hoped we didn’t have a little boy, because ‘you just didn’t know if you could keep his little penis out of your mouth‘ was indication enough that you were sick …”
Grant goes on to regretfully say, “I should have followed my gut then, and then again 14 years ago, and kicked your ass to the curb.”

Yup. You just read all of that. Now up until late last night, Stephen Collins wasn’t saying a peep and mostly did things like resign from the National Board of the Screen Actors Guild and wait to inevitably get fired from all future work. However, he’s finally spoken out through his lawyer, and not to deny that he’s an unrepentant pedophile who allegedly preyed on young girls, but to basically call his wife a money-grubbing bitch because that’s the real crime here: More »

Good Morning, Caitlin O’Connor, And Other News

October 8th, 2014 // 5 Comments

- Jennifer Garner was destined to be the one to put up with Ben Affleck‘s shit. [Lainey Gossip]

- Morrissey has Morrissey things to say about having cancer. [Dlisted]

- Softball players make great bikini models. Who knew? [theCHIVE]

- Gretchen Carlson went full Benghazi on Ebola. Of course. [The Daily Banter]

- Blake Lively gave Aziz Ansari her number then wouldn’t return his texts. [Fishwrapper]

- True Story: My Gynecologist Found A Used Condom In My Vagina [The Frisky]

- Shia LaBeouf is totes method, bro. [WWTDD]

- “Ma’am, do you know why I pulled you over? To tell you the good news!” [Death and Taxes]

- Lea Michele‘s in yoga pants. [Popoholic]

- Josh Duhamel‘s son flips off the paparazzi. [tooFab]

- Goddamn, Helen Flanagan. [Hollywood Tuna]

- And you, too, Jessica Chastain in lingerie. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: PRPH/AKM-GSI, SunOfHollywood.com / Splash News

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 10.7.14

October 7th, 2014 // 287 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, the post that hasn’t been secretly molesting children for years. I mean sure, it’s been creepily leering at butts, praying for Justin Bieber‘s untimely death, and letting out the slightest bit of terrified urine at the sight of this Mike Tyson photobomb, but little kids?

Jesus man, we’re not anima– OOOH LOOK A NIPPLE! No wait, shit, false alarm,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Jessica Lange Snubbing Lea Michele Wants To Help

October 7th, 2014 // 20 Comments

It’s been a depressing day full of unmentionable evil (Those links are right.), so here’s Jessica Lange snubbing Lea Michele at the American Horror Story: Freak Show premiere because sometimes this world can open itself up to you and not be a complete shitpot. Although very rarely, and it’s still best to assume there’s a bomb full of goddammit waiting to explode in your face at any second. Via Gawker: More »

Stephen Collins Fired From ‘Ted 2′

October 7th, 2014 // 27 Comments
Stephen Collins
The Dad From 7th Heaven?
Stephen Collins
Molested Kids? Holy Shit Read More »

After recordings surfaced of Stephen Collins allegedly confessing to molesting children during a therapy session with his estranged wife, everybody involved with Ted 2 apparently realized, “Goddamit, there’s a pedophile (people know about) in our movie,” and quickly did something about it. EW reports:

Although the 67-year-old actor has not yet been charged with a crime, the recording of him admitting to the crimes (first published on TMZ) and the police investigation that has since been launched were enough to lead MacFarlane and Universal Pictures to immediately end his involvement in the movie.
Representatives for the film confirmed the firing, but the filmmakers declined to comment beyond that. (Reps for Collins did not immediately respond.)

In the meantime, there seems to be some confusion over when Stephen’s wife Faye Grant turned the recordings over to police, and it was immediately. She turned that shit in immediately. TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned … the LAPD actually launched an investigation into allegations of molestation involving Stephen Collins in November, 2012 and then closed it … and now we’re told the department is “revisiting” the investigation after we posted our story … to determine if they missed anything.

As for what the LAPD might have missed, oh I dunno, maybe the exact identity of the victim:

As TMZ reported … one of the victims is a relative of a neighbor in the L.A. area. As you hear in the audio, Collins confesses that one of the victims is the niece of an L.A. neighbor.

Of course, the even bigger question is why the hell would Stephen Collins confess something like this to his wife in the middle of a divorce, and the only possible scenario I can think of is to see how she’d react if he married a kid. Or he knew he was a monster and wanted to get caught. Probably that last one. Pretend I said that first.

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Photo: Getty

Jennifer Garner Has To Be Loving Life

October 7th, 2014 // 16 Comments

Ben Affleck is the star of the critically-acclaimed, #1 movie at the box office that let him work closely with Emily Ratajkowski‘s naked breasts. He’s also Batman. Jennifer Garner, on the other hand, is the star of Alexander and The Fuck You I’m Not Typing All That, a Disney movie she premiered last night while accidentally lifting up her dress and flashing her Spanx to the 87,000 cameras on the red carpet, so naturally it’s everywhere you look. Then again, she could be married to a child molester, or living a life like ours. I’m sure she’s fine.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News

Goddammit, Chelsea Handler, Put That Thing Away

October 7th, 2014 // 15 Comments

Because apparently more awful shit can happen today, here’s Chelsea Handler promoting her SiriusXM interview with Dave Grohl by tweeting a photo of her left tit hanging out. Which sounds like a reasonable explanation except I’d also accept she’s proving God has forsaken us, and that we shouldn’t fear Hell because we’re already living in it. I think I’m gonna go with that.

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