ESPN Ripped Off Daniel Tosh, Here’s His Response

November 12th, 2014 // 12 Comments
Daniel Tosh

Because there should be at least one post that isn’t about Kim Kardashian’s naked ass, here’s Daniel Tosh calling out ESPN for ripping off his Web Redemption segment so blatantly they didn’t even change the name. That’s like robbing a bank then walking around dressed like the Beagle Boys. And yes, that was a Duck Tales joke which is what happens when I shift from ass humor too quickly. You’re all lucky to still be alive. (h/t Uproxx)

RELATED: Didn’t @nerddad plagiarize The Superficial a bunch of times? Why, yes, he did!

Daniel Tosh Blasts ESPN For Ripping Him Off After The Jump

Khloe Kardashian Tried To Steal Kim’s Ass Thunder

November 12th, 2014 // 13 Comments

Just hours before Kim Kardashian’s naked butt was scheduled to be dragged across the Internet like a dog with worms tainting everything in its path (Case in point: There’s another post about it coming up later today.), Khloe shared the above meme on Instagram because you know what the Internet hardly ever loses its mind over: racism. Except this time it did, but only for a brief moment before Kim’s ass snuffed everything out along with all of humanity’s hopes and dreams for the future. There’s nothing but darkness now, ever-plunging darkness. And for once I’m not talking about Kanye West’s penis. I told you I can quit whenever I want.

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Photo: Instagram

Jenny McCarthy & Donnie Wahlberg Got Their Own Reality Show

November 12th, 2014 // 10 Comments
Previously In Failing At TV
Jenny McCarthy Cleavage Halloween Costume
She Was Fired From 'The View.' Not Quit. F.I.R.E.D. Read More »

Posted by Photo Boy

Because the world is a giant stockpot of diarrhea and reality television is the spoon that stirs it, it’s only right that Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg get to make their own deposit. When reached for comment, the couple dropped this verbal nugget and yes I’m going to just keep making poop jokes here. Get on board. Via People:

Our feeling is, who better to make our first show for the network about, than about us?” the couple said in a statement. “We love working together and with our crazy schedules this gives us the chance to both work and play together.

It really is classic F-List Hollywood to immediately co-opt someone else’s idea and somehow make it seem like brilliance on your part. I’m assuming the pitch meeting went like this:

PRODUCER 1: Everybody loves Wahlburgers. We’d love to build on that with a spinoff about you two.
JENNY: *farts loudly, claps hands, laughs uncontrollably*
DONNIE: I like what you’re saying, but what if the show was just about Jenny and me, you know, just our wacky everyday interactions.
PRODUCER 1: Right…I think that’s basically what I just pitc–
PRODUCER 2: You can make it so her tits are mostly out all the time, right?
DONNIE: *stands up, extends handshake* Gentlemen, let’s make some television.

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Photo: MPNC/AKM-GSI

Kim Kardashian’s Butt Is Naked

November 12th, 2014 // 107 Comments
It's Kim's Naked Boobs, Too
Kim Kardashian Naked Butt
Let's Make This
A Party Read More »

So I’m going to talk sexually about Kim Kardashian’s naked ass for a minute because I’m pretty sure it’s not on the cover of Paper to spark a discussion on common core. In fact, legend has it, there are words written beneath her ass that say it’s here to “break the Internet,” but we lost three interns trying to confirm it. They weren’t mountain ready. Anyway, here’s Kim’s giant butt which looks even gianter when you Photoshop the shit out of her waist because apparently already being the size of a small space station isn’t enough. What’s the purpose here besides making every form of sex with her anal? Kim Kardashian could be in another room giving you a handjob with Inspector Gadget arms, and you’d still be doing her in the butt. Technically, we’re all having sex with her ass right now just reading this post. (No eye contact.)

Celebrities Respond To Kim Kardashian’s Naked Ass After The Jump

Good Morning, Brina Chantal, And Other News

November 12th, 2014 // 1 Comment

- Something about Jennifer Aniston and a cock ring if I’m reading this right. [Lainey Gossip]

- Jennifer Lawrence will never join Twitter because she hates you, Internet. [Dlisted]

- Please stop giving a shit about Eminem lyrics. He doesn’t matter anymore. [Fishwrapper]

- The Vixen Is Elizabeth Hancock [theCHIVE]

- This dad wins the Internet today. Fuck Kim Kardashian. [The Frisky]

- Charlotte McKinney has sexy outtakes. [COED]

- Nina Agdal‘s in lingerie. [WWTDD]

- Kill All Record Labels [Death and Taxes]

- Bella Thorne knows how to drive book sales. [Popoholic]

- What’s up, Taylor Swift‘s girlfriend? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Goddamn, Doutzen Kroes. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 11.11.14

November 11th, 2014 // 376 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that has Lindsay Lohan in the lead position instead of Kelly Brook, because true story, Fish made me switch them out when he sensed my momentary lack of self-loating. It doesn’t matter since I would have gotten there pretty quickly as soon as I reviewed these pics of Jena Malone, Jade Avia, and Hofit Golan either flashing their panties or nipples at what is basically a children’s movie, so you know what? Fuck it.

HA! Look at Bon Jovi‘s dick, everybody! (Parental respect is overrated.)

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Marilyn Monroe Now

November 11th, 2014 // 20 Comments
Gwyneth Paltrow Marilyn Monroe
WATCH: Gwyneth Paltrow As Marilyn Monroe

Posing as Marilyn Monroe is some Lindsay Lohan shit, so imagine my surprise to see Gwyneth Paltrow posing as her for Max Factor. This is literally the most pedestrian thing I’ve seen her do in my life. It’ll be a miracle if they let her back into Britain. Or the ivory bazaar. Then where will she purchase the finest in feminine inserts? The local apothecary? Ha! Menstruating into cotton like a cobbler’s wife. Surely you jest. (h/t Lainey)