The Crap We Missed – Thursday 7.10.14

July 10th, 2014 // 424 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, our daily feature of butts and whatever clever method (Today, it’s Jumbotron Penis-Smush™) Gerard Butler‘s using to get chicks into a closet-sized latrine. Yes, that last thing can be counted on daily, so in other words, there’s a recipe here. You start with a quarter cup of “Wait, how does Lindsay Lohan not look like she’s dying a meth-related death here?” Then just a dash of “Yep, I can definitely see Fergie‘s wife‘s penis through this bunny suit.” Toss all that into a flaky “HA! Rob Ford‘s smiling — HE’S SO HIGH!!” and you’ve got yourself TCWM.

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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Get Your Naked Titties Away From Will Smith

July 10th, 2014 // 26 Comments

“Will! Will! Look at my boobs! I took out my boobs for you!”
“Girl, get outta here. The man’s trying to tell me about his boat.”
“So, as you can see, Will, below deck offers complete privacy. The help knows never to disturb.. my work.”

Photos: FameFlynet, Splash News

Is That Pee On Kim Kardashian’s Butt? A Serious Investigative Report

July 10th, 2014 // 40 Comments

I’m literally trying to post anything, anything at all, besides Rosie O’Donnell returning to The View and all the caterwauling that entails, so here’s Kim Kardashian at Fashion Week in Paris with some sort of liquid all over her giant butt, so just assume Kanye got an M&M afterward for learning to go like a big boy. “Bitch, I said I wanted Buzz Lightyear Pull-ups, not this Jake and The Neverland Pirates shit!” I like to imagine him saying because I’m 11 and just wrote a published article about going pee-pee. I live a rich life.

Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

You Forgot Tatiana Maslany, You Idiots!

July 10th, 2014 // 27 Comments
Tatiana Maslany Orphan Black

This has been our complete coverage of The 2014 Emmy Nominations.

“In-Depth Journalism: We Dip Our Balls In It” – THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photo: BBC America

That’s Ashley Benson Topless

July 10th, 2014 // 29 Comments
Goddamn Treasure Trove
Spring Breakers
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Because apparently it’s “Remember The Breasts of Spring Breakers Day” (Selena Gomez‘s implants, anyone?), here’s Ashley Benson sunbathing topless while vacationing in Hawaii last week. And if you’re wondering if the agencies hold back photos only to charge me extra for them at a later date because they have nipples, yes. Yes, they do. It’s like they know I’ll do anything for them. Perhaps even kill a man.

Photos: FameFlynet

ALL HAIL #BBARE THE #TEFLONG #DONG

July 10th, 2014 // 17 Comments

Ahem. Break it off: More »

Good Morning, Andrea Calle, And Other News

July 10th, 2014 // 8 Comments

- Justin Bieber will see Selena‘s implants and raise her a model he banged two months ago. [Lainey Gossip]

- George Clooney just cockslapped The Daily Mail. [Dlisted]

- Bad Girls Bend And Snap [theCHIVE]

- Farrah Abraham is opening a Greek yogurt restaurant? Why not? [Fishwrapper]

- Alix Tichelman will give you the one true death. Or a bunch of heroine on your Google yacht. [WWTDD]

- Hermoine wearing a doily for a bra, anyone? [Popoholic]

- Jenny McCarthy thought she’d be hosting The View for 20 years. AHAHAHA! [Starpulse]

- Keri Russell doesn’t get enough love. [tooFab]

- Amy Willerton does FHM. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Ana Beatriz Barros does GQ. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Pacific Coast News