Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, our daily feature of butts and whatever clever method (Today, it’s Jumbotron Penis-Smush™) Gerard Butler‘s using to get chicks into a closet-sized latrine. Yes, that last thing can be counted on daily, so in other words, there’s a recipe here. You start with a quarter cup of “Wait, how does Lindsay Lohan not look like she’s dying a meth-related death here?” Then just a dash of “Yep, I can definitely see Fergie‘s wife‘s penis through this bunny suit.” Toss all that into a flaky “HA! Rob Ford‘s smiling — HE’S SO HIGH!!” and you’ve got yourself TCWM.
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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
“Will! Will! Look at my boobs! I took out my boobs for you!”
“Girl, get outta here. The man’s trying to tell me about his boat.”
“So, as you can see, Will, below deck offers complete privacy. The help knows never to disturb.. my work.”
Photos: FameFlynet, Splash News
I’m literally trying to post anything, anything at all, besides Rosie O’Donnell returning to The View and all the caterwauling that entails, so here’s Kim Kardashian at Fashion Week in Paris with some sort of liquid all over her giant butt, so just assume Kanye got an M&M afterward for learning to go like a big boy. “Bitch, I said I wanted Buzz Lightyear Pull-ups, not this Jake and The Neverland Pirates shit!” I like to imagine him saying because I’m 11 and just wrote a published article about going pee-pee. I live a rich life.
Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
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Because apparently it’s “Remember The Breasts of Spring Breakers Day” (Selena Gomez‘s implants, anyone?), here’s Ashley Benson sunbathing topless while vacationing in Hawaii last week. And if you’re wondering if the agencies hold back photos only to charge me extra for them at a later date because they have nipples, yes. Yes, they do. It’s like they know I’ll do anything for them. Perhaps even kill a man.
Ahem. Break it off: More »
- Justin Bieber will see Selena‘s implants and raise her a model he banged two months ago. [Lainey Gossip]
- George Clooney just cockslapped The Daily Mail. [Dlisted]
- Bad Girls Bend And Snap [theCHIVE]
- Farrah Abraham is opening a Greek yogurt restaurant? Why not? [Fishwrapper]
- Alix Tichelman will give you the one true death. Or a bunch of heroine on your Google yacht. [WWTDD]
- Hermoine wearing a doily for a bra, anyone? [Popoholic]
- Jenny McCarthy thought she’d be hosting The View for 20 years. AHAHAHA! [Starpulse]
- Keri Russell doesn’t get enough love. [tooFab]
- Amy Willerton does FHM. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Ana Beatriz Barros does GQ. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
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Photos: Pacific Coast News