Miley Cyrus Needs A Dang Ol’ Tighter Dress, Man

May 17th, 2012 // 59 Comments

Following up Tuesday’s dog and booby show, here’s Miley Cyrus prancing around Miami in a super-tight dress yesterday because she really wanted to be an advocate for curvier, real woman, but dangit, wouldn’t you know a gluten allergy came along and made her body all skinny and awesome. It’s like a curse.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WAXM/AKM-GSI, WENN

Justin Bieber Likes Drawing Penises

May 17th, 2012 // 53 Comments
The Mariah Yeater Song
Justin Bieber Mariah Yeater Song
How NOT To Handle A Paternity Suit Read More »

In the same issue featuring an interview with Michael Fassbender about his giant penis that tries not to be about his giant penis, Deadspin‘s Drew Magary attempts to do an interview with Justin Bieber for GQ that turns into an exercise in dealing with an ADD-addled wannabe gangsta who lives in an insulated bubble that he draws cocks all over. So what was supposed to be a cool little feature on The Maple Christ turning 18 and transitioning into a Maple Man, ended up being a still-entertaining read that left me fully convinced he knocked up Mariah Yeater and wrote a song about it to even further prove he can get away with anything because his handlers are that fucking meticulous and coddling at the same time. Choice quotes after the jump: More »

It’s Thor Holding His Baby

May 17th, 2012 // 27 Comments
Skarsgard Vs. Thor
Skarsgard Thor
Brace The Sex-Time Continuum For Fuck-pact! Read More »

“Stars of Asgard, this precious child is like a delicately wrapped sandwich filled with various meats and cheeses and perhaps even adorned with peppercorn.. Wench, I grow hungry!”

By voluminous request, here’s The Avengers/Thor star Chris Hemsworth holding his newborn daughter India Rose in London yesterday because if you didn’t know already, handsome dudes holding babies are to women what a pair of breasts is to men. Granted, I don’t fully understand the genetic undertones of why it works that way, I am willing to bet it has something to do with babies being easy to carve into a new pair of shoes because they’re so tiny. Then again, that’s applying way too much logic, so they probably just like things that cry at the drop of the hat, too. Which is also pretty logical, goddammit.

Photos: Fame/Flynet

Jennifer Nicole Lee’s Still Wearing Bikinis
And Other News

May 17th, 2012 // 39 Comments

- Jennifer Lopez‘s stunt double looks so much like her… [theCHIVE]

- Don’t ask Mariah Carey about Britney Spears judging X-Factor. [Lainey Gossip]

- Remixing Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s cheesy one-liners and setting them to music is just goddamn incredible. [BuzzFeed]

- Gloria Allred is representing the first John Travolta accuser now in case you’re wondering how epically that whole situation just shat itself. [Dlisted]

- Lindsay Ellingson in lingerie, anyone? [Popoholic]

- John Mayer is still unable to sing, so whichever deity wants to take credit, I’m now your humble servant. [Starpulse]

- Candice Swanepoel‘s (technically) topless. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Kim Kardashian thinks she can be the next Sofia Vergara. [Celebslam]

- Kelly Clarkson actually lost weight. [TooFab]

- Lourdes Leon‘s underage boobs support gay marriage because the support of pedophiles is exactly what that movement needed. Smart thinking. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Rachel McAdam‘s Passion looks fantastic. (Read: Lesbianism!!!!!1) [FilmDrunk]

- 50 Most Searched for Women in Sports‬ [Bleacher Report]

- Buster talks about the new season of Arrested Development. [HuffPost Entertainment]

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Photos: Splash News

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 5.16.12

May 16th, 2012 // 478 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we embrace Hump Day as hard as these two probably did seconds after this picture was taken. To be clear, the implication is that they had gay sex. Anyway we’ve also got Suzanne Somers still selling Thighmasters, Chloe Sevigny working her corner and willing to cut a bitch for stealing her john, and Katherine Heigl out enjoying beautiful Los Angeles with her usual pleasant demeanor.

Bill Murray is and always will be the shit,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

Courtney Stodden’s Bo Derek Bikini Photos

May 16th, 2012 // 132 Comments
Previously On Courtney
Courtney Stodden Lingerie Mom Baking
Lingerie Baking With Mom! Read More »

Like clockwork, here’s Courtney Stodden doing her best Bo Derek impression, and honestly, these are probably the best-looking shots of her since that set from before she discovered make-up, clear heels and sugar-daddying her way onto reality television. On that note, you really can’t help but marvel at America’s incredible capacity for making women think if they act like super-whores they’ll make it as an actress. Seriously, whoever came up with that was ahead of their time. I probably would’ve just made them eat mud pies or fetch a ball out of old man Jenkins’ yard. Place gives me the willies.

Photos: Jeff Rayner/Coleman-Rayner