P. Diddy knows how to dispense a courteous ass-whoopin’

October 16th, 2007 // 67 Comments
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P. Diddy got into a scuffle over the weekend at club Kiosk in SoHo. Diddy allegedly had an argument with an acquaintance Steven Acevedo and decided to settle things with a gentlemanly punch in the mouth. The victim called the police later that day and Diddy is expected to turn himself in for questioning today. NY Daily News reports:

Combs and the alleged victim, Steven Acevedo, 31, at first just traded insults inside the Spring St. hot spot. But after the dust appeared to settle, Combs and some of his bodyguards came back, Acevedo told cops. Combs then knocked Acevedo to the ground with a punch to the mouth. When Acevedo got up, Combs allegedly punched him a second time, sources said.

As Combs’ fists flew, a member of his entourage allegedly boasted to Acevedo, “We won’t shoot you. You can even hold our guns,” a police source said.

That’s just good manners right there. Sorry, old chap, no bullets today. Just a hearty punch or two. Bleeding internally are we now? Very well then. Might I trouble you for our shooters back? That’s a good sport. Lovely day, isn’t it? Cheerio!

Photos: Getty Images
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  1. IKE

    Serialshitter, stop being a Fuckin retard. It’s the “ASSHOLE” syndrome….it comes in various shades and sizes.

  2. DANNYPANTY

    thankx for the shot to the mouth, now payup ya black ape fuck, lets raise our glasses for the guy who is about to cash the check from the pimple-faced diddyass, and how bout the thug bodyguards, thank god they were there or diddyasss would have had his ass beat. he’s a tough guy with his boys and a full on black pussy without. but i have herd that diddy gives good head…

  3. thick.veiny.drifter.cock

    I remember shopping in a supermarket and running into a typical overweight black woman with a huge ass and spandex pants hovering over the meat section. She had two kids with her; one was around 10 and the other an infant, dressed in some dirty t-shirts and jeans. She was ringing the bell furiously to get the butcher. When he came out, she said, “Ah wants me some of the maple bacon that be on sale! You aint got no maple bacon here…” The butcher just looked at her and said, “I’m sorry maam, we must be all out of the maple bacon but you’re welcome to buy some of the other Farmer John bacon that’s on sale.”

    Her eyes got huge and she started bobbing her head back and forth and raised her voice, “What? Ah wants the muthafuckin maple bacon, the sign says all Farmer John bacon. I sure likes the maple bacon. Ah wants me some maple bacon!”

    The butcher, not wanting to cause a scene told her to wait and he would look in the back and see what he could do.

    As she waited, a business man came up to ring the butcher’s bell but just before he was able to ring it, she stopped him by blocking his hand and asked him what he was doing.

    “I have to pick up a platter that I ordered for an office party, do you mind?”

    She was up in his face and really bobbing her head now, “Hell yes I do! He be in the back gettin me muh maple bacon! Now you just back your ass on up and wait a bit! Ah wants that muthafuckin maple bacon!”

    Again, not wanting to cause a scene, the business man backed off and waited to the side.

    She then proceeded to pace back and forth in her overly tight spandex pants and flip flops talking to her kids, “Yas sir, that muthafucka better bring me muh maple bacon. Sheet. Ah done told him dat ah wants muh maple bacon….” Over and over again. She was clearly getting more and more agitated as time went on.

    I secretly hoped that the store didn’t have any more maple bacon left just to see her go ballistic and wondered if anyone else watching the scene felt the same way.

    Finally, the butcher returned and produced a pound of Farmer John maple bacon and gave it to her. Damn luck, I thought. He said, “Here maam, this is our last package of maple bacon.”

    “See? I told you that you be holding out that maple bacon in the back for youself! Sheet! Don’t be trying no bullsheet on me!”

    With that, she took it and left.

    Upon checkout, she was only one aisle over and once again, the cause of another outburst.

    “What do you mean you won’t take my muthafuckin WIC coupon for maple bacon! It says right here for food and this here bes food!”

    The cashier rolled her eyes and said, “I’m sorry, maam. WIC coupons are only for food for your infant. Milk, cheese, bread……and not bacon.” (WIC is a food-stamp type program in California for minority mothers so they can feed their infants rather than using the welfare money for drugs and alcohol on themselves. I doubt a baby would want to chew on maple bacon)

    This time, she was really agitated and not only bobbing her head back and forth but was jiggling her whole massive black body up and down. “Sheet! You all just be bullsheeting me now….put my muthafuckin maple bacon on the muthafuckin coupons!”

    By that time, the manager came over and went between them and settled the situation somehow. I’m not sure exactly what happened after that as I was hurriedly rushed through my lane and went out to my car. The manager must have just given it to her for free or something to get rid of her.

    This supermarket, being in a black neighborhood, had a big problem with losing so many of their shopping carts so they installed an anti-theft device in the parking lot. For those unfamiliar with this, it’s a device that attaches to one of the wheels of the cart that locks up and seizes the wheel of the cart in the event that it leaves the parking lot. I believe it works on some sort of magnet system, I’m not sure. There are bold yellow lines painted in the lot with warnings that the cart will lock up if taken beyond those lines.

    As I was heading for the exit in my car, I saw her pushing her cart and heading for one of the yellow lines, trying to push the shopping cart all the way home, completely oblivious to all the warning signs around her. (Many of them even had the warnings posted as graphic cartoons for people who couldn’t even read and she didn’t even comprehend those!)

    I decided to hang back and park with my lights off to watch her.

    Sure enough, she approached the yellow line still bitching to her kids about the maple bacon incident when ZAP! The right front wheel of her shopping cart locked up on the yellow line and sent her big fat black body spilling over the front edge of the cart and knocking it and all the contents over the side. Her milk, eggs, bread, and yes…her precious maple bacon all were knocked over and spread out in the parking lot.

    It was truly a sight to behold. She looked like a huge black blob encased in spandex lying in the middle of spilled groceries and a shopping cart with her two kids standing over her.

    There was a slight moment of silence. An uneasy silence. The kind of silence you feel right before Old Faithful erupts or the Space Shuttle launches. The silence you experience when you know that all hell is about to break loose.

    “MUTHAFUCKA!”

    “What the hell kind of sheet is this? What the hell is this bullsheet?”

    Just then, her 10 year old said, “Momma, all the stuff spilled!”

    “NO SHEET, MUTHAFUCKA! GODDAMN DIS BULLSHEET!”

    With that, she got up and started to walk back into the store. She didn’t bother to pick up any of her groceries or even turn back to make sure that her kids were following her. All I saw was 210 pounds of black ass walking to the store saying, “I’m going to tell them muthafuckas a thing or two…sheet…dey aint heard the end of dis sheet..they better come out here and clean dis sheet up….”

    I could just imagine the impending scene in the store.

    I considered going back into the store to pretend I was shopping some more just to hear the scene she would make but I had a better idea.

    I put my car into drive and slowly drove away from the parking lot, making sure that both my tires ran over her precious maple bacon.

  4. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    I read that whole post. It gave me a good laugh. It also reminded me of why I live in the middle of fucking nowhere nowadays. I saw too many women like this in Minneapolis. I worked downtown at a health food store and ran across quite a few. They couldn’t read. You’d have to read the whole damn menu out to their ignorant asses so they could order. Never mind all the people waiting behind them, dammit! They wanted a smoothie and had to hear every ingredient–twice usually because they were busy asking stupid questions while you were trying to recite it to them, or busy yelling at their kids (if they weren’t the kids with their diapered asses on my clean countertop, thank you very much). Bitches like this drove me nuts. And I’m sorry if this isn’t PC, but they were always black. It doesn’t make me racist if it’s a simple and true observation, I’m just sayin.’

  5. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    What’s annoying is that that whole story about the bacon was just copied and pasted from some other site.

    What’s scary is that it was actually relavant to something in my past.

  6. BlackBeauty(StallionwiddaBigDik)

    Diddy dont need to be playin with these punks. If he be important he should have B-guards. Bush do.

  7. Brutha

    why don’t white people just leave us be? what we done to U???????????

  8. James Watson

    By Cahal Milmo
    Published: 17 October 2007
    One of the world’s most eminent scientists was embroiled in an extraordinary row last night after he claimed that black people were less intelligent than white people and the idea that “equal powers of reason” were shared across racial groups was a delusion.

    James Watson, a Nobel Prize winner for his part in the unravelling of DNA who now runs one of America’s leading scientific research institutions, drew widespread condemnation for comments he made ahead of his arrival in Britain today for a speaking tour at venues including the Science Museum in London.

    The 79-year-old geneticist reopened the explosive debate about race and science in a newspaper interview in which he said Western policies towards African countries were wrongly based on an assumption that black people were as clever as their white counterparts when “testing” suggested the contrary. He claimed genes responsible for creating differences in human intelligence could be found within a decade.

    The newly formed Equality and Human Rights Commission, successor to the Commission for Racial Equality, said it was studying Dr Watson’s remarks ” in full”. Dr Watson told The Sunday Times that he was “inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa” because “all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours – whereas all the testing says not really”. He said there was a natural desire that all human beings should be equal but “people who have to deal with black employees find this not true”.

    His views are also reflected in a book published next week, in which he writes: “There is no firm reason to anticipate that the intellectual capacities of peoples geographically separated in their evolution should prove to have evolved identically. Our wanting to reserve equal powers of reason as some universal heritage of humanity will not be enough to make it so.”

    The furore echoes the controversy created in the 1990s by The Bell Curve, a book co-authored by the American political scientist Charles Murray, which suggested differences in IQ were genetic and discussed the implications of a racial divide in intelligence. The work was heavily criticised across the world, in particular by leading scientists who described it as a work of ” scientific racism”.

    Dr Watson arrives in Britain today for a speaking tour to publicise his latest book, Avoid Boring People: Lessons from a Life in Science. Among his first engagements is a speech to an audience at the Science Museum organised by the Dana Centre, which held a discussion last night on the history of scientific racism.

    Critics of Dr Watson said there should be a robust response to his views across the spheres of politics and science. Keith Vaz, the Labour chairman of the Home Affairs Select Committee, said: “It is sad to see a scientist of such achievement making such baseless, unscientific and extremely offensive comments. I am sure the scientific community will roundly reject what appear to be Dr Watson’s personal prejudices.

    “These comments serve as a reminder of the attitudes which can still exists at the highest professional levels.”

    The American scientist earned a place in the history of great scientific breakthroughs of the 20th century when he worked at the University of Cambridge in the 1950s and 1960s and formed part of the team which discovered the structure of DNA. He shared the 1962 Nobel Prize for medicine with his British colleague Francis Crick and New Zealand-born Maurice Wilkins.

    But despite serving for 50 years as a director of the Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory on Long Island, considered a world leader in research into cancer and genetics, Dr Watson has frequently courted controversy with some of his views on politics, sexuality and race. The respected journal Science wrote in 1990: “To many in the scientific community, Watson has long been something of a wild man, and his colleagues tend to hold their collective breath whenever he veers from the script.”

    In 1997, he told a British newspaper that a woman should have the right to abort her unborn child if tests could determine it would be homosexual. He later insisted he was talking about a “hypothetical” choice which could never be applied. He has also suggested a link between skin colour and sex drive, positing the theory that black people have higher libidos, and argued in favour of genetic screening and engineering on the basis that ” stupidity” could one day be cured. He has claimed that beauty could be genetically manufactured, saying: “People say it would be terrible if we made all girls pretty. I think it would great.”

    The Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory said yesterday that Dr Watson could not be contacted to comment on his remarks.

    Steven Rose, a professor of biological sciences at the Open University and a founder member of the Society for Social Responsibility in Science, said: ” This is Watson at his most scandalous. He has said similar things about women before but I have never heard him get into this racist terrain. If he knew the literature in the subject he would know he was out of his depth scientifically, quite apart from socially and politically.”

    Anti-racism campaigners called for Dr Watson’s remarks to be looked at in the context of racial hatred laws. A spokesman for the 1990 Trust, a black human rights group, said: “It is astonishing that a man of such distinction should make comments that seem to perpetuate racism in this way. It amounts to fuelling bigotry and we would like it to be looked at for grounds of legal complaint.”

  9. DevilSpeakinLies

    Oh man you crackas will say anything to keep a good man down.

  10. maple bacon

    @ 53. thick.veiny.drifter.cock & #55. InstantAsshat-AddFame:

    Ah yes! The hilarious maple bacon story!

    I think we all know where it was copied and pasted from; I found it in about 15 seconds; great story!

  11. BringIt

    I personally know AT LEAST 100, including myself, men who could kick the shit out of Diddy and all of his bodyguards’ asses at the same time with one phone call, lunch bell, or cracking of a beer can.

  12. !!!!!!!!

    am an exchange student that’s not that familiar with the American society but i’ve noticed that most of u people out here say that ur against racism but no matter how much u say it its the total opposite.. again no matter how much u say freedom of speech still ur the worst in that too!!!!!!!! even French people and British people got over it!! most of the people in America are very arrogant soo not broad minded! and know nothing outside there borders!! people here need to c the outside world and then its going to hit them that there is more to the world than just United states

  13. Jessica

    Diddy couldn’t fight anyone without his bodyguards. Just like most Black guys he’s to scared to fight someone man to man it has to be man verse man (plus bodyguards with guns). Typical black fagot.

  14. Geoff

    I thing that !!!!!!!!! needs to be deported.

  15. Dickhead Richards

    What’s up with all you jerk-offs writing your little essays about whatever-the fuck it is that you’re writing about? I didn’t even read the bullshit. I’m sure it was very deep, and emotional. Please, go away.

  16. a

    check out the newest country singer mrs kittyjerry at myspace.com/kittyjerry/

  17. sarah

    “am an exchange student that’s not that familiar with the American society but i’ve noticed that most of u people out here say that ur against racism but no matter how much u say it its the total opposite.. again no matter how much u say freedom of speech still ur the worst in that too!!!!!!!! even French people and British people got over it!! most of the people in America are very arrogant soo not broad minded! and know nothing outside there borders!! people here need to c the outside world and then its going to hit them that there is more to the world than just United states”

    There is no way that was from a foreign exchange student. Foreign exchange students are usually people who excel academically. Everybody knows that comment was from some 13 year old American who hates her parents and thinks Europe is artistic. Grow up, please.

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