Owen Wilson wants you to watch him pee

November 1st, 2007 // 20 Comments
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Owen Wilson is doing his best to prove he’s not using drugs. He’s even gone as far as keeping the bathroom door open at all times no matter where he’s at. Page Six reports:

The recently hospitalized “Darjeeling Limited” star attended a ball in honor of artist Takashi Murikami. “He was with a girl with blond highlights,” said our spy, “and he went to the bathroom and peed with the door open.”

What’s so unusual about that? I keep the door open all the time when I use the bathroom. Whether at home or in public. Mostly to inspire people. You know, they see my physique and wonder how I keep myself looking like the Greek god Adonis. So I make sure everyone knows I’m not on steroids. Nope, it’s actually the human growth hormone which I inject straight into my chest with a turkey baster. My tears mean it’s working.

superficial

  1. Stoney

    nasty

  2. Natalie

    First!?!

  3. veggi

    I don’t see the picture. It isn’t there!!!! Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    just kidding. I don’t guess I care that much.

    I like Owen and his fucked up nose.

  4. Stoney

    nice try

  5. Annabel

    And… who cares about Owen Wilson?

  6. veggi

    I do! I do! He’s funny shit. I would make awkward sexual advances toward him.

  7. Biggus Dickus

    Are they sure this person didn’t just confuse his nose with his dick? Maybe he was snorting lines on the toilet seat and they thought he was draining the dragon.

  8. Eye-Dish Lass

    Owen – I love love love love (and love) U! Have we not ALL figured out by now that being a grown-up, whether w/fame and weath or even if no one knows who the F your broke ass is, it just SUCKS. It’s hard as hell and joy is only for those w/hope for the future. That sh** is OVER past 25!

  9. LL

    Um, don’t dudes kinda routinely whip it out (in public restrooms) and whiz right in front of other guys all the time? I’m not saying they enjoy it (though sometimes I wonder), and I know they don’t normally do it in front of chicks they don’t live with, but what’s the big deal? Maybe he was giving her a look-see at the goods. I’d say that’s mighty considerate of him. You wanna know what you’re dealing with ahead of time without actually having to commit. In fact, I think all guys should have to show the schlong on the first date and let the chick decide whether or not she wants to bother continuing. I think that’s only fair. That would actually be kind of awesome. Is there some website where you can look somebody up and get measurements and reviews from previous partners? If there isn’t, there should be.

  10. Italian Stallion

    This news is stupid, what a pisser……..

  11. I’m surprised you even cry tears anymore Fish. I was thinking you would cry ambrosia that granted eternal life.

  12. Feckless

    Ignorance and apathy. I don’t know and I don’t care.

  13. I don’t get it. This the perfect time to show your knobbled nose in a Legal way to people and even get some reward for it!! HALLOWEEN!! What do you think figuring as the famous “Pinokkio” or “Catweazle” would have done!!

  14. h

    The best part of this site is the author’s ‘afterthoughts,’ which have a tendency to veer completely off-track. Whoever you are, thank you.

  15. He can pee on Britney Spears and I still will not watch it. But I cantt speak for everyone here.

  16. You’re a REAL moron in person. Do you think entire America is stupid or something? Ofcoutse you don’t take Cocaine when shitting. But if you do, I think your SHIT just blurps out. There are plenty and plenty of other places aivalable. This proves again you’re an PATHETIC and LYING ASSHOLE!!

  17. AmberDextrose

    I can’t help thinking… Proboscis Monkey

  18. Dick Richards

    Look, pissing with the bathroom door open is, like, the sixth step in Twelve-Step. Public urination is right behind public defication. You actually have to shit in front of a church congregation, though. I know all about twelve-step; my brother’s a junky.

  19. OwenWilson

    #15 – I have pee’d on Britney Spear. Like why not ally my celebrity friends have. Hell If I hadn’t well what would my friends have said. When Colin Farrel pissed on Brit I thought I’d shit. By the way Britney loves it and eats whoppers while it happens.

  20. selina

    i saw this news on a site called sugarcupid.com before.

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