Owen Wilson bikes to strip clubs

June 12th, 2007 // 89 Comments
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Need to get to a strip club but don’t have a car handy? No problem. Owen Wilson pedaled his mountain bike to Scores West Side where he parked his bike in the check room and then sat down for some lap dances. A source tells Page Six:

“After a few hours, he said he was meeting friends at another club to bring back to Scores and could he leave the bike. They said, ‘No problem,’ ” our spy reports. “It was a fun night for him – Scores, regular clubs, then Scores again. Who needs Kate Hudson?”

Now that’s dedication. I’ve never found myself so desperate for breasts that I’d actually bike to a strip club. Then again I’m lazy. My house could be on fire and I’d have to think twice about leaving the couch. I’m actually posting this in my sleep. Impressed, ladies? I also watch Grey’s Anatomy and can do push ups with my tongue.

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  1. It’s pretty hard to pick up a stripper on a bicycle, that’s why you should always take Mom’s station wagon.

  2. Pokemon_Johnson

    this guy is such a dork

  3. jadis

    …..I have a mental image of Owen Wilson peddling home with a stripper balancing precariously on the handlebars.

  4. That’s harsh critisim coming from a Pokemon’s penis.

  5. cosmetologist

    Dick Nose!

  6. Fluffy Butt

    Fix your fucking nose!

  7. When I lived in New York I walked like 3 blocks to get Belgian French Fries … not similar, at all, but I still did it.

  8. Assbestos

    America is a fantastic place. Where a man with a crooked penis for a nose can be famous.

  9. I wonder if there is sex in the champagne room for Owen? I wonder if his nose is bigger than his cock too.

  10. El p0nko guapo

    Somebody should tell him ‘The 40-year Old Virgin’ was not about him. And the BO is a vain attempt to smell like a man while wearing scented panties.

    Kudos to whoever first pointed out the penis growing out of the middle of his face.

  11. Sandra

    His nose looks like it’s turning into a deformed penis.

  12. So, I strip to bike clubs.

  13. Are we to be surprised at celebrities seeing naked women in their spare time? These guys are surrounded by obscene amounts of vagina. Give me a break.

  14. Texas Tranny

    @10 LOL….scented panties. Yummy

  15. zuzuspetals

    He’s gross. Kate Hudson could do so much better.

  16. Miserable Bastard

    This is probably what Paris Hilton looks like after a week in jail.

  17. Sheva

    Kinda silly since all he needed to do was wave down a taxi. He could have there probably for like $10. So instead he saves the $10 so he can spend it on chicks with implants to bounce on him for $20 for two minutes each.

    Apparently this is what happens after you get tired of those little ones with Kate Hudson. You want some real titty so bad, you just are irrational.

    Poor dude.

  18. dork McGroin

    I swear I thought the nose was ‘shopped.

    I’ll bet seeing him put down the blow is like watching a catheter insertion.

  19. Amanda

    Grey’s Anatomy sucks.
    But I like the tounge thing.

  20. THAT’S HOT! I’M ALL FOR LOVE!

  21. Kate Hudson

    Now I’m kicking myself for letting him go.

  22. schack

    if he went to a club where 18 year old boys were stripping, you’d know he was missing Kate.

  23. if Kate could do better,
    then Y didn’t zhe?

    hiz noze doez look like
    a dick..a krook=ed dick.

  24. PAT

    Damn, that’s some fucked up nose!

  25. What is it with Kate Hudson and her facination with ugly men?

  26. Canimal

    His nose is like some kind of alien claw trying to break out of his face..

  27. JaeMae

    Thats Hansel. Hes so hot right now.

  28. Wanky

    haha i would do the same thing…but i would probably be high at the time….makes you wonder.

  29. George

    After awhile, you get tired of paying for everything, especially being a start. Actually, he should of kept Kate…he could put his money in her purse.

    On a side note, this is proof he wasn’t taking her seriously one bit. Ladies, lesson 2050, if a guy doesn’t bite by 30, no matter how tight your ass is “common sense” will rule. Kate, you are a dumb@ss for leaving your “steady” husband.

  30. I don’t have a big problem with that.

  31. Chauncey Gardner

    I wonder how many times Lindsay Lohan has sucked Owen Wilson’s nose? And, does she swallow, or does she spit?

  32. Kamiki

    UGH this is an ugly ugly man.

  33. Good for him.

    He is single with tons of cash, so bring on the strippers and whores.

    I also ride a bike to the strip club, but only because I spent all my money on strippers.

  34. sandy

    Spindoc,

    I Know, RIGHT??

    I’ve dated some weird looking dudes who I thought were sexy, but none as fug as her past two dudes.

  35. Hansel: So I’m repelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I’ll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize “Holy shit, Hansel, haven’t you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn’t some of this maybe be in your head?”

    Derek Zoolander: And?

    Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I’ve never even been to Mount Vesuvius.

  36. Italian Stallion

    I wonder if he was the reason for Peter Griffen having balls on his face for a chin? Because this motherfucker has a dick for a nose……..

  37. Crap Tonight

    and here’s an interesting fact: lapdances originated in Lapland, where they were performed by the shortest members of the tribe in a pre-fertility Yak killing ceremony

  38. I’m kind of like Owen Wilson. Except that my johnson looks like a nose.
    The worlds most important blog:
    http://www.genosworld.blogspot.com/

  39. Italian Stallion

    @38
    Wow, Geno, think of that one all by yourself?

    The worlds most unoriginal blog:
    http://www.genosworld.blogspot.com/

  40. jakebarnes

    I love this guy.

  41. Stallion, no I didn’t think of it all by myself. A team of experts consisting of scientists, teachers, and hookers came together and hid themselves in a cave for 90 days. eating just bread and water, they emerged after the 90 days triumphantly. The leader spoke: “The world’s most important blog is Geno’s World.”

  42. Italian Stallion

    Lame…..

  43. excusse

    *snore* *snore*

  44. My horse was lame. We had to put it down.

  45. hollyj

    I know I’m about the millionth person to say it on this thread, but he needs to fix that fucking tapir nose.

  46. RichPort

    @39 – I disagree… the world’s most unoriginal blog is the one where that dude puts random seemingly unrelated topics together and posts them together with a soft shit colored background and, oh…

  47. didey23

    his nose looks like a penis

  48. jrzmommy

    41–it’s more like a cavern, actually.

  49. Julie

    OMG!!! I have been laughing so hard at the comments.

  50. Austin

    Saucer of milk, table 46!

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