UPDATE – Owen Wilson attempts suicide

August 27th, 2007 // 143 Comments

Owen Wilson was taken to St. John’s hospital in Santa Monica, California Sunday afternoon and the National Enquirer is claiming it was a suicide attempt. They say that he sliced his left wrist and took an overdose of pills. He was transferred from St. John’s after being stabilized to be detoxed and details are still coming out.

He was definitely hospitalized Sunday, but the National Enquirer is the only one saying it was suicide. Although for every story they write about Abraham Lincoln being a killer cyborg from the future they still manage to be right every now and then. And this one just feels right. Like the article they wrote about me breaking the world bench pressing record and then spending my free time rescuing puppies from fires. That’s just good journalism.

UPDATE: Owen Wilson has issued the following very boring statement which says absolutely nothing about whether or not he actually tried to kill himself: “I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time.”


  1. Paris Hilton's Penis

    #114. Gaydar don’t stand in front of a mirror to long … you’ll explode.

    P.S. That was the weakest attempt at an insult I’ve ever seen here and that’s saying a lot.

  2. #116 – I agree your comment was the weakest attempt at an insult we’ve seen around here in quite some time. It’s refreshing to see a commenter adopt a realistically self-critical attitude.

  3. ilikecandy

    How about you write to me when you’ve been diagnosed with a life threatening illness that’s destroying your central nervous system when your only in your 20′s. Having lived in Africa and seen shit you can only dream about I can guarantee I’ve had a harder life than anyone in Holywood. But I have a heart and I have no shame about it. I also have a 36-23-34 figure, the face of an angel, and a nice pussy so call me one if you want. I could care less.

  4. likeicare

    So you picked up AIDS while in Africa. Boo-fuckin-hoo. Slut.

  5. cocaKelli

    Too late for anyone to read or care…
    but 113: YOU ROCK!
    I haven’t heard that shit in AGES man, I was just looking at the cassette the other day….

  6. Lopelus

    You’ve got a fucking child, Owen. I hope you get the help you need and you don’t devastate your family like mine was 6 days ago.

  7. Queefer Bukakke

    Owen Wilson is a spoiled fucking rat bastard. Dumbass motherfucker doesn’t realize how good he has it and he tries to off himself. Hey, Owen, you stupid fucking pathetic big-nosed sack of shit – wanna trade lives with me and see what it’s really like to have it rough? I hope your next attempt is more successful!

  8. John

    I like Owen Wilson so I hope he’s OK however…..

    This guy has loads of money and tons of women waiting in line and he tries to off himself.

    I’ve just found a new respect for homeless people….

    and most “superficial” readers ;-)

  9. woodhorse

    Wally you are terribly funny on this terrible subject *kisses* but #54 with his “Whoa is me” may have raised the bar a bit – I’ll be laughing about that one every time I hit the freeway…..

    #86 A record breaking day! Your “heal in privet” is even better than Lohan’s “adequite”.

  10. BaldAsBritney

    I’m not crazy


    Your the one who’s crazy


  11. chimpy

    Apparently the attempt was made after watching “Wedding Crashers” in its entirety for the first time.

  12. Frick!

    This shocks me. I thought this dude seemed like mr. happy go lucky. Although he does seem like a partier, so I suppose I could see him having a drug addiction, but I just can’t see him trying to off himself. Wonder if the breaup w/ Kate Hudson had something to do with it? Anyways, he looks annoying, but he is actually a pretty decent actor. But both of those Wilson bros are fugly.

  13. BlohansDeviatedSeptum

    #105 I’m an asshole because I don’t get all weepy over someone the suicide attempt of somebody I’ve never met? Whatever. That post was in response to the one above it, so try and get a little context before your get your panites in a knot. Lot’s of people have problems and “feel like fuck ups” but they don’t go the whoa is me, cry for attention route. If he is manic depressive then get treatment, if he was just having a shit shit day then he’s weak, plain and simple. Which is OK, alot of people are, just don’t tell me I have to feel sorry for his ass cause I don’t. If that makes me an asshole so be it, but at least I’m not a quitter.

  14. BaldAsBritney

    #110 big fucking words dude, but I have a feeling the only thing your rounding up is your boyfriends for a round of hide the dildo.

  15. spoofy mcgillicutty

    I’ll bet it was the Zoolander 2 script.

  16. astella

    he needs to find jesus.

    this will make a good storyline for a new watered-down toilet humoured brainless comedy.

  17. JustWondering

    @110 – Hey , ILikeCandy, if you promise not to talk about Africa while we are having sex then lets. You can tell me about before or after or both. Just please let my Mr. Wiggly Works Wonders on your bad day. Please Please Please.

  18. Sean

    Am I the only person who doesn’t give a shit about Owen Wilson?

    “Oh boo hoo – I guess my millions of dollars and movie career and being able to bang Kate Hudson just isn’t enough. Waaaaa! My life sucks!”

    I hope he chokes to death on a chainsaw. Other folks should be as lucky as this dipshit.

  19. Doctoro

    I seriously doubt Owen Wilson tried to kill himself over Kate Hudson. I’m sure there was a lot more going on. He might not be great looking according to some, but he’s a famous actor, so he probably would have been banging another Hollywood starlet within the week. I also don’t think the REALLY wanted to die, because he wouldn’t have tried to go out like a bitch. Men that really want to die go out hardcore with a shotgun in their mouths (like Kurt Cobain). Or they jump off of a building and splatter their heads all over the pavement. They don’t take pills, or cut their wrists hoping someone will find them. I hope he gets over whatever it is that’s haunting him. I’m not a big fan, but he’s had his moments in films here and there. I’ve never read about him being a jerk, so I’ll assume he’s a decent guy.

  20. roughdaddy

    what the hell’s wrong with this guy?,,,hes making movies,,,whores are banging him cause hes in pictures, his rich etc….p.s. can anyone with suicidal tendencies be in a position to dump kate hudson?

  21. HotDogger

    No-talent jackass couldn’t even get his suicide right! It’s down the tracks, not across the road retard.

  22. sigh

    hopefully not, but maybe someday you’ll be touched by a suicide attempt.. and maybe then you’ll understand that no one really understands except maybe that person.. a good read: http://origin.mercurynews.com/sharks/ci_6741296

  23. you'reallassholes

    The comment feature should be disabled on sensitive posts like this. None of you here can be trusted to act maturely about serious subject matter.

    A human being, no matter how famous they are or how much money they have, is still a human being. Grow up and treat this subject matter with the sensitivity it deserves.

  24. mommylonglegs

    I have to agree with 139…I don’t think everyone here is an a-hole but there sure are a lot of people ACTING like it. Some of the most successful, happy-on-the-surface people are the ones who are the most miserable inside. Depression is equal opportunity. Can’t we have a little sympathy for a fellow human being who was obviously so distressed he apparently decided to try to off himself? We don’t know why he did it, we don’t know anything about him, so who the hell are we to judge? What if it was your brother, your friend, your dad? How is his family holding up and do you think they need to read these snarky comments? Nobody’s asking you to be a “wuss” or a “pussy” to have some common decency. Jeezus people….grow up, step away from the herd.

  25. gimme a break

    Look, we all know about depression and suicide. At this site – not in real life, not 100% of the time, just here – we’re indulging in a little black humor. You may not like it, you may not think it’s funny, but that’s what this site is specifically designed for – and not your fucking condescending preaching, with “insights” that any child already knows. Take your holier-than-thou one-note inflexible sermons and shove them up your asses.

  26. j l

    All of the invective and nastiness directed at a depressed man is horrible,
    and it’s bad karma that will one day come back to bite each & everyone of you cynics in the ass.

  27. enlightened

    “bad karma” – why not just say the boogie man will get you while you’re sleeping? It’s about the same level of primitive thought. But if you’re weak-minded and afraid of the world, well, I suppose believing in superstitions might get you through the night. Whatever works – not everybody bothers to exercise the brain that God gave you.

Leave A Comment