Owen Wilson was taken to St. John’s hospital in Santa Monica, California Sunday afternoon and the National Enquirer is claiming it was a suicide attempt. They say that he sliced his left wrist and took an overdose of pills. He was transferred from St. John’s after being stabilized to be detoxed and details are still coming out.
He was definitely hospitalized Sunday, but the National Enquirer is the only one saying it was suicide. Although for every story they write about Abraham Lincoln being a killer cyborg from the future they still manage to be right every now and then. And this one just feels right. Like the article they wrote about me breaking the world bench pressing record and then spending my free time rescuing puppies from fires. That’s just good journalism.
UPDATE: Owen Wilson has issued the following very boring statement which says absolutely nothing about whether or not he actually tried to kill himself: “I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time.”
Wonky | August 27, 2007 at 10:40 am
Nice
The One and Only REAL Goodman | August 27, 2007 at 10:41 am
FIRST..to say finally he realized all he’s ever gonna be known for is Wedding Crashers
Morning Wood | August 27, 2007 at 10:41 am
Sad shame he didn’t succeed…
ahh | August 27, 2007 at 10:42 am
first 10! wow this is so sad poor guy dont make fun of suicide man..
pointandlaugh | August 27, 2007 at 10:42 am
You mean he finally realized that people aren’t laughing with him, but AT him and his penis-nose?
Big Daddy | August 27, 2007 at 10:42 am
Nice try Goodman…. that’s why it’s smart not to even mention FIRST.
Morning Wood | August 27, 2007 at 10:43 am
Oh yea, go back to bed Fish…
Smoking Hot | August 27, 2007 at 10:44 am
Poor thing. Maybe he is not over Kate Hudson and now she is so happy with another man. It’s hard to find a cute woman who likes ugly men, but Kate is one of those rare species.
all of you are heartless tyrants | August 27, 2007 at 10:44 am
shut the fuck up.
seriously.
this man possibly tried to kill himself and it’s a joke?
veggo | August 27, 2007 at 10:44 am
5- if you’re penis looks like his nose, I’ll be it doesn’t do much sniffin’ around.
hey | August 27, 2007 at 10:44 am
not true i bet
lick my balls | August 27, 2007 at 10:46 am
he prolly did it because kate left him for the dude that used to be ashton kutchers bitch on punkd. he figured if she could hook up with such a loser he must have been a loser too, therefore giving him reason to attempt to off himself. i have no sympathy for people who do this. obviously they cant handle the pressures of life so why not do it for at least population control.
Smoking Hot | August 27, 2007 at 10:47 am
#9, if he really wanted to, he would have done it. Clearly it was cry for help, which I am sure he will now get. Besides, everybody hurts sometimes so we can all pity him and relate and still make a joke out of it. LIGHTEN UP already. Go put on your Morrisey album and relax.
Morning Wood | August 27, 2007 at 10:48 am
#9 Yes,he is a joke.
Ricky Bobby | August 27, 2007 at 10:49 am
Perhaps he realised he was never going to beat Nick Hogan in a drag race…
chelsea_423 | August 27, 2007 at 10:51 am
No way this is true.
smegma | August 27, 2007 at 10:53 am
What’s the big deal? Even if he had been successful it wouldn’t have mattered. He gives the same performance in every movie. They can just use digital editing to insert his standard performance into new movies – he doesn’t even have to be alive. Somebody should tell him that. One of the hospital staff, maybe.
btw, looks like the good Fishwriter has disappeared again :(
Ricky Bobby | August 27, 2007 at 10:56 am
YES retard #16 it is true.
BaldAsBritney | August 27, 2007 at 10:58 am
Actaully he was just carving a wedding gazebo out of a solid piece of mohogany when he slipped and cut himself.
Duchess of Dork | August 27, 2007 at 10:59 am
I sure hope he didn’t. He’s a talented male bimbo.
veggi | August 27, 2007 at 11:00 am
u use the same jokes fish over and over again. i hate u. u are scum. where’s jimbo?
Godzilla | August 27, 2007 at 11:00 am
Actually, several news sites have this same story. The Enquirer isn’t the only one claiming is was a suicide.
Dee | August 27, 2007 at 11:02 am
I like owen wilson… he has made some shitty movies…but he ws good in the Royal T…and i thought he was pretty funny in wedding crashers… I like the wilson brothers… i would have rathered jessica Simpson or Jessica Alba slit their wrists…
veggo | August 27, 2007 at 11:02 am
21- you’re an idiot…….
W | August 27, 2007 at 11:06 am
Are you people serious? If this is true it’s just tragic and nothing to make fun of.
tamarinda | August 27, 2007 at 11:07 am
His brother Luke is pretty tasty. I’d love to be in the middle of a Wilson sandwich.
Rob | August 27, 2007 at 11:10 am
Don’t try suicide
Nobody’s worth it
Don’t try suicide
Nobody cares
Don’t try suicide
You’re just gonna hate it
Don’t try suicide
Nobody gives a damn
Mike | August 27, 2007 at 11:15 am
#5, no kidding! In the beginning of Wedding Crashes I was wondering if the character was using a fake penis-nose as a joke. Turns out that was Wilson’s regular nose. I don’t remember it being that big before though, must’ve had a growth spurt.
Oh yeah, and this is sad bla bla bla.
JaneaneTheAcerbicGoblin | August 27, 2007 at 11:15 am
He didn’t date Kate Hudson that long, so I doubt he tried to kill himself because of her. Hollywood couples shift so much anyway.
Owen is famous, has tons of $$$, he’s living the American/Hollywood dream, and it’s not good enough. Something else must have triggered this other than Kate Hudson.
veggio | August 27, 2007 at 11:19 am
Sounds like a serious attempt. He slit his left wrist, and he’s left-handed, so he was disabling his jerk-off hand. Especially for Owen, that’s a sign that he’s lost all interest in his usual life activities. A good therapist will explain to him that as he recovers, he can learn to appreciate the much more awkward and unfamiliar beatoff sessions with his opposite hand as much closer to what he’d experience with an actual woman (or man, seems like Owen could go both ways). When the tissues in his hospital room start disappearing too quickly, they’ll know he’s getting back to his normal self. It’s a sign that’s as clear as the penis on his face.
Annie Rexia | August 27, 2007 at 11:21 am
He didn’t succeed? Bummer. Luke, Here’s to all the success in the future!
Chauncey Gardner | August 27, 2007 at 11:24 am
I guess this clown is the “crying on the inside” kind.
RichPort | August 27, 2007 at 11:27 am
To channel Yoda: There is no try, there is only DO!
veggio | August 27, 2007 at 11:31 am
so many trollz out there
Arealdogg | August 27, 2007 at 11:32 am
@32
OMG your such a liar!!
Beating off with your off-hand does not feel any where close to a warm vage.
ssdd | August 27, 2007 at 11:33 am
Well he needs to get that honking dicknose fixed first… otherwise it would be very stressful for the mortician to try to make that thing look half way decent…. just sayin.
lambman | August 27, 2007 at 11:51 am
is it because he’s in-love with his ice queen twin sister, who is having an emotionless affair with Bill Murrary?
I can’t tell tell the Wilson’s appart any better than I can seperate reality and fiction =(
Faggot | August 27, 2007 at 11:53 am
Needle in the Haaaaayyyyyy
Needle in the Haaaaaaaayyyyy
“I’m going to kill myself today.” -Richie Tenenbaum
Tony | August 27, 2007 at 11:53 am
Come on man! You have a great life! Tons of money and pussy! How can you want to kill yourself!
Faggot | August 27, 2007 at 11:53 am
He probably wanted to go out with The Darjeeling Limited being his last movie.
Really | August 27, 2007 at 11:58 am
t
Rmc | August 27, 2007 at 11:59 am
how do you fuck that up? you know your life is a piece of shit when you cant even kill yourself…cut deeper next time asshole
Faggot | August 27, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I’m thankful he’s alive. Who doesn’t love Dupree?
This picture is perfect too. Loose, white shirt that doesn’t flatter is pale skin, and with the morning sun shining on him, he stinks of death.
Faggot | August 27, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Couldn’t get any full body photos???
Shallow Val | August 27, 2007 at 12:08 pm
HOLY crap! Well that’s a surprise. I feel for him. Glad he’s OK. All of a sudden, I’m lifted out of my blue mood, cuz I’m alive still want to be.
I HOPE it isn’t over that Kate Hudson chick, cuz if it is, I’ll take back all that I just said above.
Really | August 27, 2007 at 12:20 pm
It’s amazing how people can watch movies and be so critical of a persons performance. What is really funny is that he has more money than many of you making the sad comments about his acting.
You laugh about his nose. His nose is what started his career, having a different and rare look. Maybe some of you should break your freaking nose.
Hollywood is a serious world, that can stir up many unclear emotions. A person cannot understand that into they are fully in the position of a actor.
It’s apparent that you many of you, if not all, are very young. Internet access should be band from your homes. If you can make such remarks to this incident, who knows what your little undeveloped minds are doing on the internet.
I tip my hat off to fellow actors who have the gutts to get out there and entertain you overly critical assholes, who in the end have no fucking heart.
Yes, the rich and famous have time to check sites like this, once in a blue moon.
BlohansDeviatedSeptum | August 27, 2007 at 12:32 pm
#46 says he’s a celebrity apparently.
Since he/she wrote this: “Internet access should be band from your homes. ” I’m inclined to believe it. Only someone in show business could be this dumb.
Who gave Blohan internet access at rehab anyway?
@46 | August 27, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Luke. Do the job right next time. Fuckup.
JohnsWorld | August 27, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Just wait for the spin in 60days.
You will see him on Leno explaining how he was cutting something and it slipped and nicked his wrist and that he took some pills for the pain.
OR
He could briefly become a spokesman for Suicide Prevention.
Either way it’s a win/win from a publicists perspective…. as long as he doesn’t “off” himself.
tryst | August 27, 2007 at 12:40 pm
heroin. we all knew it. mark my words.
good luck, owen.