Owen Wilson Knocked Up A Married Woman

October 15th, 2013 // 21 Comments

“Alright, me! Everybody clap.”

In an interview to promote Free Birds yesterday, Owen Wilson confirmed to Extra that he’s going to be a dad again, only this time with his married personal trainer because apparently knocking up chicks with husbands is the new hotness. In more important news, five years ago Owen Wilson used to have sex with Kate Hudson‘s butt which is way more of an excuse than I need to include bikini pics of it because there is absolutely jackshit happening today, and daddy needs pageviews or he’ll have to get a job that requires human interaction. *cocks gun* You don’t want that. *smears on camoflauge face paint* Trust me. *practices hiding in file cabinets*

Photos: Splash News


  1. It’s going to be a tough call if the neonate’s head is deformed from passage through the birth canal or if it’s Wilson genetics.

  2. Perez might, but only because gobblers of his content are neonate molesters.

    • Convex

      Most of his visitors hate him. Reading the comments on his posts is an hilarious dip into the pool of utter contempt. I always remember to boil myself immediately after so I don’t spread any germs.

  3. Deacon Jones

    I wonder how he seduced her

    “Aw, geez. Will you, like, sleep with me? I’ll kill myself if you dont.”
    (flashes crooked nose smile)

  4. EricLR

    In his defense, he was really desperate for a discount rate on his training.

  5. I remember a time when this kind of behavior was frowned upon, and I’m really not that old.

    • Trek Girl

      It may have been frowned upon, but that sure didn’t keep people from doing it.
      Why clutch your pearls about this when you know people do it, and have always done it, and you don’t personally know the people involved? Most people shake their head, say something along the lines of “That’s messed up”, and move on.

      It’s still frowned upon, people just don’t get dramatic about it.

      • schmidtler

        I’m pretty confident that at least in Texas, a lot of folks get ‘dramatic’ about catching other dudes fucking their wives.

      • Trek Girl

        I’m not talking about the people it actually happens to, I’m talking about people who aren’t involved.

      • I’d hardly say I was worked up enough about it to have been clutching my pearls. Doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s wrong for people to just make a sad face and give him a pass.

      • Trek Girl

        Give him a pass at what? Nobodies really giving him a pass. There’s nothing anyone can do, except those involved, and we don’t know what’s happening there. The impact on his career, if any, can’t be told yet.
        So far, I’m seeing lots of jokes made at his expense, and lots of people not caring at all because it’s Owen Wilson.

        I’m done, I made my point. I won’t annoy you further.

    • Hey, he could be banging his adopted daughter like Woody Allen, so there’s that. He is just taking a page out of The Jerry Seinfeld/Simon “Moobs” Cowell handbook.

  6. He is rumored to have four kids by four different women, he has publically acknowledged two of them (which includes the one mentioned)

  7. This data further proves my theory that married women DO want to have sex…just not with their husbands.

  8. I used to really like him as an actor but more and more the little bit of press that does manage to slip out paints him as an entitled superficially charming/nasty compulsive a**hole. Whoever does his PR must have their hands full.

  9. Kate Hudson Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I remember one of my first times on the site years ago there was this article about her using special Healing crystals or whatever. She’s always been a weirdo…but a hot one who’ll believe me if I tell her I’m a vengeful spirit that will, only go away if my ghost peepee goes into her valley

  10. Kate Hudson Bikini
    Miley Cyrusis aslut
    Commented on this photo:

    If, in fact, you do see a ghost or energy, you are supposed to ignore it, so that people like Fish don’t think you are on drugs…..which, of course you probably are.

  11. Kate Hudson Bikini
    It's Always Sunny in Atlanta
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you think she’d give me a gift basket? Screw it, I’d do it for free

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