Owen Wilson is Going to Be a Dad

January 11th, 2011 // 49 Comments

Owen Wilson and his “girlfriend of more than a year” are expecting a baby, according to Entertainment Weekly. This is of course fantastic news because there’s nothing like a heroin addict who tries to kill himself every time he’s dumped becoming a father. I feel like I’m writing a fairy tale. Wheeeeee!

Photos: Flynet


  1. pedro


  2. ashley

    Wow, making fun of someone who attempted suicide. You’re manly fish.

    • RoboZombie

      Have you ever been to this site before?

      • ashley

        Yup. Given the site’s name, low blows are expected, but at someone recovering from a suicide attempt? Really?

        The guy is improving his life, hopefully, and that’s apparently shitty news.

      • Allie

        How is he improving his life?

        By knocking up some poor starstruck girl up and adding a baby into his fucked-up life equation?

        Tell it like it is, Fish.

        I’m SO tired of this heroin addict getting a pass for life just because he’s “likable”.

      • Amen Allie!!!

        So, he’s trying to improve his life by knocking up a woman. Nice. I think I will go out and try to improve my life over and over again over the next few days.

        He’s a heroin addict, he’s tried to kill himself, and he wants to be a dad. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was an actor he’d be considered a deadbeat father and unfit to have kids!!!

  3. Note very small black box

  4. RoboZombie

    Great…more idiots breeding…

  5. stupidass

    looks like Mila’s not the only one who’s blind in one eye

  6. silken_floss

    Butterscotch Stallion

  7. me

    So anyone who has ever attempted suicide should be passed judgement on? I’m really dissapointed in the Fish today. : (

    • um…yes? Is it really a stretch of the imagination to judge that a person who attempted suicide might not be the best parent material?

      How far are we stretching political correctness now?

      • me

        hmmmm…. I bet there are more people than you know that hit rock bottom, only to rise above it, move on, and live a better life – like, A SHITLOAD of people. This has nothing to do with political correctness, it’s just good ol’ fashioned life.


    Urinating in public is grounds for sex offender status last time I checked.

  9. Rough: I like you & I like others too

    That was uncalled for the man is trying to turn his life around…

  10. Cock Dr

    Good luck with that Owen.

  11. Jennifer

    Wow– sensitive crowd today. Tissue?

  12. Colin

    How can you make fun of someone for something that they did like that? Gosh, you’re so superfic– oh. Right. Carry on.

  13. Timo

    What, has this man never heard of the Uroclub?

    Somebody went out of their way to invent a golf club you can pee into and still Owen Wilson is leaking all over the place. Tsk tsk.

  14. Ok…I get it, he attempted suicide…he’s having a baby…but what the fuck is wrong with his nose??

    • I guess from the small size of the box covering his peepee, guys with Big Noses don’t necessarily have big penises. His nose is misinforming women around the world that he is hung.

  15. Nihilist

    Owen Wilson would joke about your suicide in a shitty Judd Apatow movie, so..

  16. chant
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, I wanna see the penis.

  17. Carolyn

    Another baby on the way to a couple who can’t quite make the ultimate committment at the altar. And yes, I’m sure I’ll hear that no one cares that people don’t marry today, but check the facts and you’ll see that a child has a better shot at happiness and success in life if he/she has parents who have promised to stay together. Legal is different than just dating/living together. I know, I’ve done both and you work much harder when it’s legal.

  18. Reggie Rhino

    Future “Father of the Year” recipient, Owen Wilson, practices good “Green Golfing” techniques while playing the back nine at Rolling Hills C.C.!

  19. Stay classy Owen!

  20. Holy crap with some of you whiney little bitches today. “That wasn’t funny fish, how can you pick on someone who tried to commit suicide?” It’s easy … THEY TRIED TO KILL THEMSELVES AND FAILED!!!! How big a loser do you have to be to attempt suicide and not be able to go through with it? I betcha you kinda feel like Wile E Coyote constantly failing to catch the Road Runner!!! Just hold up a tiny umbrella, crouch, and wait for teh anvil or giant rock to fall on your head!!!!

    So now, this person who didn’t value his own life has spawned a child. Wonderful. I’m sure he can teach his child how to hide track marks when taking hits when spawn is old enough.

  21. Crys
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG!!! that is disgusting!!! and on the golf course too!!!

  22. Ally

    Hey, low blow! Owen has a lot of professionalism in the business – he turns up on set on time, isn’t aggressive to crew (i.e. Christian Bale) and isn’t know for beating up his partners (Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen). He’s clearly a good guy who just had some personal issues like most of us do at some stage. I’m sure he will be a great dad.

  23. Susie Q

    Well, his older brother has three kids; one with his ex-wife and the next two with two other different women (and the second baby was only six-months old when he got the third one pregnant) so I can’t say I’m surprised.

    All three Wilson boys are NASTY and Owen is NOT the homebody-daddy type Plus, anyone who believes that he’s clean and sober needs to be drug-tested themselves.

    However, I DO look forward to the Mel-Oksana-ish meltdown (complete with Jade Who-the-Fuck-Are-You fleeing their house in terror with Baby Stallion in her arms) after Emowen comes home drunk and smelling of sex once too often.

    Here’s a tip, Jade – invest in a tape recorder now!!

  24. MALE

    I wanna see the NSFW version of this pic….PLEASE!!

  25. me

    I think the point of everyone “whining” is this: Nobody in this entire world is so completely upright that they have the right to judge another person so harshly. Let’s face it, we all judge, but there sure are a lot of “holier than thou” fuckers on here. Nice you all have had perfect lives so far. Now, how’s about coming back down to earth?

  26. Anybody know where I can pick up a “Littlest Butterscotch Cowboy” play-set?

  27. Non- worried Commenter

    Haha!! Obviously everyone sees the little black box on top of Owens junk, but they don’t see how he’s going to be a semi- bad father. Many people have thought about suicide, but to actually attempt it, that’s kind of a different story. It shows how selfish you are. Family and friends suffer because of it. If you don’t care about your life, please don’t breed. What of Owen somehow has a depression/ suicidal relapse five or ten years after his child is born? You people need to think about this. Poor thing will be without his/ her daddy thanks to his selfishness (once again) As far as the drugs are concerned,

    • Susie Q

      And don’t forget the “being a junkie” part…

      Unless Owen’s in recovery, having a child will NOT make addiction problems magically go away (see Kurt Cobain, Heath Ledger).

      It’s a legitimate question.

      BTW – Kate Hudson is pregnant!! She wanted to announce to steal the thunder out from under Owen and the actual birth of his little butterscotch!

  28. dontlooknow

    …”hey there, l’il guy, you’re causing me big trouble…we need to talk…”

  29. zerocoolminx
    Commented on this photo:

    why is his dick blacked out even when u click on view original?? women’s vagina’s are on full display all the time.

  30. Pia

    That is indeed a minute black box. I come here for the giggles, not to be disillusioned. In future could you kindly expand the black boxes to accommodate my expectations of male hollywoodies.

  31. Louie

    You can tell his an amateur..he’s holding his putter with the ungloved hand!

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