Overheard: Angelina Jolie has a due date

January 23rd, 2006 // 35 Comments

According to the super delicious Heather, Angelina Jolie was overheard talking about her pregnancy and said that her due date was June 4th.

My roommate’s Mom and stepdad were in L.A. last week, the day after the Golden Globes, so there were a ton of celebs around. They stopped into some little cafe near their hotel and Angelina was having tea with some guy (not Brad). There wasn’t anyone else in this place, so she could hear everything that Angelina was saying…including that she is due on June 4th! They were just talking about how she was doing and feeling etc.

If only Angelina could have pushed it back a month to July 4th. Then we could forget about all this pesky ‘declaration of independance’ nonsense and focus on the important events in history, like the birth of the world’s first aesthetically perfect child. They could call it “Brangelina Day” and then kill themselves for being idiots.

UPDATE: A commenter noted that Angelina Jolie’s birthday is also June 4, which has me a little bit confused. Either our reader got Angelina’s birthday confused with her child’s, or June 4 just happens to be the day to be born if you want to be outrageously good looking.

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  1. Whats funny is as I was reading, Disturbed’s remake of Land of Confusion was playing.

    ‘to may men making, to many problems
    ‘not much love to go around . .

    However Jolie got lots of lovin to get pregnant…

    ‘this is the world we live in . . whoaaa

  2. C

    Was there any talk of her having (much speculated about) twins?

  3. Devil Is Chrome

    Are we sure that it was Heather’s roommate

  4. vinylprincess

    i think that angelina’s birthday is also june 4th.

  5. LOOKWHATICANDO

    If its a girl, they should name it after Jen’s Mom, won’t that be swwweat.. lol

  6. Becca

    Better yet, if it’s a girl they should name it Jennifer. LOL!

  7. brewdick

    am i the only one who thinks the baby is going to come out looking like a huge pair of lips with opposable thumbs?

  8. the beast

    it’s also fantastically one month short of putting the conception date after the divorce was final.

  9. Tracy

    Twins?! Let’s call them the Double-Pitt twins and put them in a gum commercial. Brilliant!

  10. velvetsuperstar

    If Angelina’s already 5 months along in January… wouldn’t she be due in May? People are only pregnant for 9 months… and if the other gossip mills are true and she conceived in July…August (Month 1), September (2), October (3), November (4), December (5), January (6), February (7), March (8), April (9), May would be 10 months… June would be 11… who knows… she looks pretty big for a June 4th birth though…

  11. ZoomBoy

    Post pictures of Teh Heather.. now.

  12. Larry

    Anglina might be attractive, but she’s no “More Cowbell” girl.

  13. LoneWolf

    I guess we’re going to get updates every time the fetus shifts position. Dear Jesus, it’s going to be a long 5 months. If only it would stop then…..

  14. PapaHotNuts

    Because of the perfection that is Jolie and Pitt, the baby will actually be in her womb for 17 months. Not so much for the baby’s sake, but for the rest of the planet to prepare for the birth of a child so holy that Jesus will now only work part-time as our savior. The new-born Christ Baby will work the 7 am to 7 pm shift answering our prayers, giving Jesus a much deserved break. Most people would think the glow radiating from Angelina’s vagina was something contracted from humping just about anything with an elbow. But come to find out, it was just the baby’s halo. The Holy Child’s first miracle- changing Maddox and Zahara into little movable action figures so he has something to play with inbetween saving the Universe and being beautiful.

  15. powerpuffgrl1969

    PapaHotNuts, I about peed myself laughing over THAT one. Ooops, sorry; I DID pee myself.

  16. ESQ

    Great..I have been waiting for this news…..

  17. escapevelocity

    *yawn*

  18. Realistic

    Makinf June 5th the day they turn the “fake” kids back into the agency.

  19. derekd

    I just want to take this opportunity to say that for once Pitt is actually fucking in his league. All the chicks he dated before were mediocre. Now he didn’t have to get all pussywhipped and shit. Goes to show it happens to the best of us. P.O.P.(Power of the Pussy). Take that homos! Ever see a hairy asshole do that? huh? I DON’T THINK SO!!

  20. HughJorganthethird

    P.O.P.(Power of the Pussy). Take that homos! Ever see a hairy asshole do that? huh? I DON’T THINK SO!!

    Someone get this on a t-shirt, stat. Then send me one, I’m in San Fran at the end of the month and would like to wear it while shopping in the Tenderloin.

  21. Devil Is Chrome

    PapHotNuts -> I laughed my ass off reading your comment. You should write for this site.

  22. JamesGnLA

    Whoever the source is on this “scoop,” they are full of it. Or either your roommate’s mom & stepdad are full of it.
    –1st of all, “there were a ton of celebs around” then “there wasn’t anyone else around” makes no sense.
    –Secondly, Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have been in Haiti & are not even back in the Country yet, so it is not possible for anyone to have seen or heard anything from either one of them in a cafe in L.A. after the Golden Globes.
    –Thirdly, I live in L.A. & it is idiots like you who keep the money pumping into this town which makes it better for us who live here. So Thanks

  23. Tracy

    OK, now for the important stuff… what are they going to name the baby? Hum Pitt after mommy? Or maybe Dum Pitt after daddy?

  24. HollyJ

    Maybe they’ll name the twins Arm Pitt and Money Pitt.

  25. hafaball

    Every day is brangelina day jack ass. Not one day goes by where a story of brad and angelina walking seems to be more focused on then 10 people dying in some fire. And I have a funny feeling this kid is gonna look like Igor when it grows up. XD

  26. meegs

    Now, you know what would be great? Well… not necessarily great, more ironic, but it would be pretty hilarious, if the kid had some sort of huge deformity, like, oh, I don’t know, had an arm growing directly out of the top of its head. Or if the kid was black. Har har har.

  27. benjamin01

    “…or June 4 just happens to be the day to be born if you want to be outrageously good looking.”
    “outrageaously good looking”?.. give it a rest, will ya? outrageously hyped, maybe but all this gushing over her super-human looks sounds like you’ve started a new branch of Scientology that believes AJ is your space alien leader/savior/god.

    Pitt finally fucking in his leaque #19 derekd? I knew Aj was a mediocre actress and that’s at Pitt’s level, but I didn’t know she was in teh wannabe Backstreet Boy League, but now that you point that out, I can see it…

  28. HughJorganthethird

    “Thirdly, I live in L.A. & it is idiots like you who keep the money pumping into this town which makes it better for us who live here. So Thanks”

    Non- hollywood translation: “I’m a douchebag who waits tables but is secretly writting the worlds greatest screenplay. But I’m still a douchebag.”

  29. juicylips

    velvetsuperstar: it actually takes ten months to have a baby. the mother usually isnt aware of the pregnancy until she misses aunt flo. by then its already been one month. then nine more months on top of that and a kid pops out.

  30. KatieatTheMiddleDrawer

    Angelina Jolie WILL have twins, and they’re going to be so sexy that they’ll burst out of her stomach a few months pre-mature (so they’ll get here on 6/6/06) and she’s going to name them Satan and Jesus and they’ll battle and the world will end. That will happen.

    http://themiddledrawer.blogspot.com/2006_01_11_themiddledrawer_archive.html
    I predicted that shiiat on January 11th.

  31. Jeremy1Esq

    When its born, Maddox will kill it and put its head on a stake as his grandfather Pol Pot would do or Zahara will steal all its food and make sure it starves to death or
    the baby will be adopted by an Indian Family and live out its life on a reservation under the name “Running Skank-Whore”

  32. Megan

    okay, she’s pretty and all, but would somebody please get her a sandwich? She looks sick in the latest issue of People. I mean really – look at her arms and hands, they’re creepy.

  33. JamesGnLA

    In response to: HughJorganthethird

    I’m a TV Producer…I don’t do the waiting tables thing, I leave them tips. You know what tips are don’t you? The thing your mom picks up between her tits every night to support your sorry ass who sits @ home & plays XBox wishing that you were even smart enough to wait tables in your crappy little town in Idaho.

    I wouldn’t even book your punkass to be on one of my shows.

    Your name should be HarrySmallBallstheTurd

  34. thisone

    As Juicy said, pregnancies are actually calculated for 40 wks. The due date is 40 wks from the date of the last menstrual, not the conception date. So it’s possible for her to be 5 months in January (say 21 wks today) and still have a June due date.

  35. mommy_long_legs

    To posts #29 & #34…talk about an evil trick. i only figured out the whole 40 weeks = 10 months charade until after I got pregnant. Then it was like, “wtf?!”

    p.s. Hugh…just ignore James the Troll. What kind of fruitloop comes to this site, obviously reads the story, and then proceeds to berate everyone else for doing the very same thing he just did? Oh yea, and keep up your hilarious posts — they always crack me up :)

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