The 82nd Annual Academy Awards

March 8th, 2010 // 77 Comments

And now for the final roundup where I just give everybody nicknames because if I see another red carpet photo I’m 90% positive I’ll shit an Oscar statue.

Butt-gantor and her faithful sidekick, Picante Bones
Alotta Fagina
PieTrap Canyon
I’ll Star in Anything
MyShitty DontStinkerson
No BelongyHere
Proof Shia LaBeouf is a Pedophile
THAT HORSE IS EATING THAT MAN’S WILL TO LIVE!
Cougaronia, Slayer of Egos

AND

There’s Been a Terrible Mistake

Photos: Getty
superficial

  1. Marc is hiding his undereye cirles/crop circles & she’s hiding her sagging breasts.

  2. Guy Rossi

    I would love to BAM BAM that Biglelow!!

  3. a2650415

    Wow! A horse in a dress!

  4. merilhepburn

    I would love to deep throat the oscar statue, head to base!!!

  5. joeschmuck

    Sarah Jessica Parker looks like Dee Snider….

  6. BitemeBitche$

    like ta c your fat asses in that dress, Bitch and Butch,and tweens!!

  7. soup nazi

    now lets play match that nickname…lol Cougaronia

  8. Anon

    I thought Carey Mulligan was cute! And I liked her hair. Although she does look creepily young…

  9. harry satchel

    Fuck Oscar and his horse, and all those who covet him and kneel in his presence! Whores.

  10. Cumquat

    O, what a splendid gathering of poorly-fitted frocks!

  11. Randal

    Lots of very beautiful and drop dead gorgeous ladies in these photos.

    Kristen Stewart, the next female face of the industry struts her stuff in her midnight blue strapless dress by Monique Lhuillier.

    Sandra Bullock pulls it off right, showing off her perfect figure which is captivated by the high level of sparkling detail that wraps around her like a velvet glove.

    Saraha Jessica Parker stole the red carpet with her buttery yellow Chanel couture gown which was gently sprinkled with flowers around her neckline, wafting that fresh smell of wild flowers to all around her.

    Topping it off was Milley Cyrus, who wore an age-appropriate Jenny Pacham gown that dangled and awed as she slowly walked down the red carpet, stopping for photographs with that winning smile of hers.

    All in all, a very successful award ceremony. Congratulations to everyone!

    Randal

  12. lori

    Butt-Gantor and Picante Bones……hahahahhahaha!!!!!

  13. i think she’s had some work done. her face is more taught, like more pulled back, and her eyes look more pulled back as well

  14. algae

    How is Clooney not MyShitty DontStinkerton?

  15. ppl

    Why is Ferris Bueller with his mother? or is that a horse

  16. Randal,

    On behalf of the Academy, thank you so much for your glowing accolades. We deserve it, of course. E! will be in touch with you shortly – I see a red carpet interview in your future!

    Holy shit, man.

  17. I love Miley’s dress. She should work on her posture though, it’s awful. Rachel McAdams is hot as usual.

  18. Megan

    I wonder if Cameron’s had the “omg I know what I’ll look like when I’m 70″ breakdown yet?

  19. Jeff

    hahahahaha you got it back fish! these were great! especially that last one, fucking sandra bullock are you kidding me

  20. B

    Kathryn Bigelow, such a MILF.

  21. I liked her hair. Although she does look creepily young.

  22. Thanks for doing this. Cablevision and ABC (Disney) are so evil, depriving 3 million New Yorkers of the pleasure of seeing the Oscars live.

  23. Wow……..very beautiful pics,i like that type of function one think that we can see our all favorite star in place and toghter.

  24. Gueibor

    I’m happy for Kathryn Bigelow. She’s had an Oscar coming ever since Strange Days. On an unrelated note, damn! She’s one fine looking lady.

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  26. Gueibor

    #11 – I don’t know what industry you were talking about, but Kristen Stewart only strikes me as the next female face that will never smile until she comes out at age forty-something.

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  29. spinal

    @ 21

    Bigelow has had an Oscar coming since 1981 with her vampire cowboy masterpiece Near Dark. Sorry, but I love that nutty movie and everything else she’s done since.

  30. Rough--simultaneously in brief & boxers

    And the OsKar goes toooooo:Kristen’s beautiful porcelain skin…I am not sure if its the youth factor but she always steal the show to me. Only time will tell, stay tune…

  31. NG

    The nicknames rocked. LOL

    specially liked the horsy one :) so true…

  32. captain america

    fucking up a 83thd one is his goal now?

  33. Big'n

    I wanna fuck Miley Cyrus. And Kathryn Bigelow.

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  36. BiJenni

    Christ, any bets on how long it takes Sandra Bullock to crush Kristen Stewart for the title of MyShitty DontStinkerson?

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  38. Jen

    @Randal #11, are you fucking retarded? lol

  39. Kat

    Jen #38 – yes he is. He always makes those types of pathetic comments.

  40. Antediluvian

    Why does Cameron Diaz look like a Daryl Hanna in drag? Seriously let down on that one. She broke my heart.

  41. bonhomey

    Kathryn Bigelow was the hottest-looking women of the evening. Except for Kate Winslet. And Helen Mirren, of course. Am I getting old, or just getting better taste?

  42. Rough 101

    You bitches are jealous Randal is the new Blackwell…

  43. blah

    i miss the old writer

  44. lol

    god sarah jessica parker looks like a man…

  45. DON'T FLAUNT IT IF YOU DON'T HAVE 'EM

    Miley Cyrus is trying to pump up what she doesn’t have. I even have more BOOBS than her and I’m a he. I still might do Sarah “Jaws” Parker even though I’m not circumcised. When I was born, Dr. didn’t have scissors big enough…

  46. Rhialto

    Is it just me or is this Latin couple still going strong?!

  47. Darth

    @46
    She’s physically stronger than he’s.I mean that can make a frigging’ diference.Why else would he wear sunglasses?

  48. nar

    i am not a jennifer lopez fan , but i hate to admit that she look beautiful and her drees was one of the best ,

  49. AnaBleue

    @43 i agree.

    @11 your vagina is bigger than mine.

  50. Grace

    Kristen Stewart has and always will have a fart face.

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