OSCARS: Kathy Ireland swears she was sober

Kathy Ireland surprised most of the modern world last night by a.) being alive and b.) interviewing Oscar attendees looking like some sort of leathery orange Avatar puppeted by James Cameron to psyche out the competition. This of course led to her spending most of today on Twitter claiming she wasn’t high as shit:

This is all pretty funny—except for the inferences that would be unhealthy or unprofessional. Love being behind the camera. LOL!

Personally, I don’t believe Kathy was drunk, but when an entire television audience thinks you were, it’s probably a good idea to stop using the medieval rack in the basement to make yourself look thinner. That can’t be good for the ol’ eliquibirum. Or neck. (Don’t look directly at it.)

Photos: Getty