OSCARS: Hilary Swank was there?

Just a heads up, if I sound a little crotchety this morning, it’s because I sat through the entire ABC broadcast of the Oscars and will never get that time back. Granted, I’ve blacked out drunk for longer periods of time, at least there were memories other people told me about and/or pressed charges.

Moving on…

Apparently Hilary Swank was at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party last night and, I dunno, maybe it would’ve been nice to cut to her a few times during the evening. Sure, her face is second only to Sarah Jessica Parker in unfortunateness, but that dress is just as equal if not a greater accomplishment than a documentary about how delicious dolphins are. Yes, they make great sandwiches, but who honestly knew Hilary Swank had breasts until this exact moment? I rest my case.

Photos: Getty, Splash News
Tags: hilary swank