Just a heads up, if I sound a little crotchety this morning, it’s because I sat through the entire ABC broadcast of the Oscars and will never get that time back. Granted, I’ve blacked out drunk for longer periods of time, at least there were memories other people told me about and/or pressed charges.
Moving on…
Apparently Hilary Swank was at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party last night and, I dunno, maybe it would’ve been nice to cut to her a few times during the evening. Sure, her face is second only to Sarah Jessica Parker in unfortunateness, but that dress is just as equal if not a greater accomplishment than a documentary about how delicious dolphins are. Yes, they make great sandwiches, but who honestly knew Hilary Swank had breasts until this exact moment? I rest my case.
Huh? | March 8, 2010 at 11:46 am
What are Oscars?
Richard McBeef | March 8, 2010 at 11:46 am
???????
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Moller | March 8, 2010 at 11:48 am
Loving those implant scars =)
whoa nelly | March 8, 2010 at 11:49 am
That is one badly botched boob job. Those implant ripples near the left armpit remind me of….not fucking hillary swank.
fun bag afficianado | March 8, 2010 at 11:50 am
Looks like she got implants. look at the unnatural curve on her left breast side boob shot.
salamander | March 8, 2010 at 11:50 am
She needed to wait for the boob job scars to heal a bit. Pic #1 confirms where she got the boobs…
Fake Titty Bitty | March 8, 2010 at 11:54 am
@7 and by where you mean Guatemala.
Alli Watermelon | March 8, 2010 at 11:57 am
Yes, there is a ripple on the side of her left titty and it looks awkward. But you morons act like you’ve never seen a scar before. Some people heal differently and not completely. She may always have that scar, no matter “how long she waits”. It’s part of the territory of getting fake tits. It’s really NOT a big deal. Besides, if she didn’t have the silicone puppies, you’d bitch about how flat chested she is. =)
Richard McBeef | March 8, 2010 at 12:03 pm
@ watermelon – scar or no scar, time to heal or not – you shouldn’t have your titties hanging out the side of your dress if they look fucking weird.
although those weird titties do complement that busted ass face well.
aaronzzz | March 8, 2010 at 12:03 pm
I agree with @9 (Alli) Who cares about her TITT job when she is that UGLY…. Uuughhh.
McFeely Smackup | March 8, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Jesus christ, how fucking stupid/deluded do you have to be to have a boob job that looks THAT bad, but still wear dresses that shows off the grossness? I don’t know what’s worse, the scars or the wrinkly implant, but jesus christ, just cover up you moron.
and #9, we KNOW the scars and wrinkles come with implants, we just don’t like fake tits that look like fake tits. Find a way to make fake tits that look like real tits, and not a fucking tumor, and we’ll all be in favor of them.
Alli Watermelon | March 8, 2010 at 12:07 pm
#12, good luck with that lol. There are verrrrrrrry few good boob jobs out there (in the celebrity world) that don’t look like…well, a boob job. I’m kind of wondering if that ripple effect is due to boob tape to keep her from falling out of her dress. Although, maybe not. Implants don’t fall…or really even move for that matter lol.
i know it all | March 8, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Seriously, I’d hit that. Hard as hell. With a face like that, she must be into all the really kinky stuff…
Rough--simultaneously in brief & boxers | March 8, 2010 at 12:14 pm
I like it! Id give her a very firm C- plus for trying…If you think she wouldn’t be on her knees the entire time saying ahhhhhh youre nuts!
SO RIGHT | March 8, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Ok, am I blind? I think both Hilary Swank and Sarah Jessica Parker are gorgeous in a natural way. There’s not just one standard of beauty.
McFeely Smackup | March 8, 2010 at 12:37 pm
” 13. Alli Watermelon – March 8, 2010 12:07 PM
#12, good luck with that lol. There are verrrrrrrry few good boob jobs out there (in the celebrity world) that don’t look like…well, a boob job”
Yes, I think we all know that. That’s why its pretty obvious that getting breast implants is a symptom of mental illness. Why would you choose large but obvious fake and unnatural looking breasts over natural but smaller ones?
The obvious exception are those women whose saggy/deflated real boobs look even worse than the fake ones.
penis | March 8, 2010 at 12:38 pm
“gorgeous in a natural way. There’s not just one standard of beauty”
those are my shrivel words.
Georgeo | March 8, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Like all of you fat slobs have the right to complain about her.
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sohbet siteleri | March 8, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Seriously, I’d hit that. Hard as hell. With a face like that, she must be into all the really kinky stuff…
Kookie | March 8, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Who is that guy?
nahhh | March 8, 2010 at 1:30 pm
She bought her teeth from the same catalog Julie Roberts shops from.
voice of reason | March 8, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I honestly do not think those are implants.
imagine all of the tape and secret shit she has holding up her breasts underneath those slits of fabric to make her boobs appear perky. bitch is in her late 30s-40s.. even girls wearing a gown like that in their 20s would need tape and shit so that their boobs don’t fall out of the thin fabric covering them.
THUS** her one boob got molded a little weirdly in the process of it being taped to her garment. she’s not one to dare a nipple slip.
common sense.
vtfarmboy | March 8, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Nice bod but man….. i dont think you could put enough bags over that face…..
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READ Me Sarah | March 8, 2010 at 1:58 pm
This is just like that episode of the office where they all vote if swank is hot or not..
—Sarah got juice sarah got juice ohhh sarah—
pimp | March 8, 2010 at 2:02 pm
that bitch is busted…no ass eating for you!
kpatra | March 8, 2010 at 2:02 pm
#3 … swamp rape?
for me, this dress is just tmi.
veda | March 8, 2010 at 2:15 pm
No body doing the red carpet wanted to interview her so thats why we did not see her. I do love her jewelry though….here is a replica of her necklace… http://www.jewelry.com/piece.do?id=262152
Hugh G. Rekshin | March 8, 2010 at 2:21 pm
I think Hilary is gorgeous and always have. It does look like a boob job though, but it does not bother me that it is not perfect.
titsonsnack | March 8, 2010 at 3:20 pm
I thought it was whats-her-face. Sandra Bernhard.
Sport | March 8, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Always thought she looked like a dude and NEVER found her attractive but i gotta say these pics make her look good.
TM | March 8, 2010 at 3:33 pm
Just think of what that’ll look like in 10-15 years. Oh wait, dude’s look better when they age like Sean Connery?
Duh | March 8, 2010 at 4:30 pm
These are not breast implant scars – they are breast REDUCTION scars. Hilary is all natural. Props.
abby | March 8, 2010 at 5:29 pm
If you have your boobs chopped up to make them smaller , well that isn’t natural.
The reduction process involves removing a section (like a slice of pie) then bringing the two sides together. Next, they make an incision around the areola, and recenter it around the newly shaped boob. That ain’t natural.
Alli Watermelon | March 8, 2010 at 6:31 pm
#35 obviously has no idea how a breast reduction is done and where the incisions are made. Thank you to #36 for explaining the process to this dimwit. Though it’s not natural in those terms, it is in the sense that you are taking away from what you have, not adding to. Either way, who fucking cares. There’s a ripple in her boobs and this is the best she’s looked in a while.
Yumi | March 8, 2010 at 6:54 pm
What? Did she shove a piece of toast under her dress. Bad boob job or toast job there Swank.
Philip | March 8, 2010 at 7:35 pm
Christ, she’s ugly.
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richard | March 8, 2010 at 8:19 pm
SJP is perfect. U r an idiot.
John | March 8, 2010 at 8:33 pm
You guys effed up…that’s Steven Tyler. All those years of sex, drugs, and rock n roll have messed him up.
Mary | March 8, 2010 at 8:38 pm
Um, you guys all missed the biggest “don’t”- her necklace is gross!
duh | March 8, 2010 at 9:23 pm
#37 – I am fully aware of how breast reduction surgery is done, and where the incisions are made… especially when one wants to increase the “perkiness” of their breasts. While you’re technically correct that this is not “natural,” I was merely referring to the fact that her breasts are organic. Dimwit.
minx | March 8, 2010 at 11:39 pm
I am usually the first one to point out a boob job, but those don’t look like implants at all. I don’t know what everyone here is talking about. There’s no unnatural roundness on top, they don’t look like hard spheres. In fact, she looks rather flat on top. The “scar” is just the way her boob flops to the side, combined with some unfortunate dress shadows.
Randal | March 9, 2010 at 12:03 am
You go girl! You are radiant and I, for one, like the side-boob that looks like an old lady’s neck. I don’t know who you are, but you’re there, so you must rock!
r4 sdhc | March 9, 2010 at 12:14 am
I don’t know what is happening to hilary swank but she is looking bit older in this picture. That dress is surely looking awkward on her as this dress is too much exposing her.
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