OSCARS: Charlize Theron brought to you by Pillsbury

Here’s Charlize Theron at the Oscars last night and, look, I’m no fashion expert. But if that dress was designed to make me sexually assault a Cinnabon, mission double-accomplished. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m no longer welcome at this food court.

Aw, wait, is that a Sbarro’s? Damn you, Charlize!

Photos: Getty