Oscar Pistorius Guilty of Culpable Homicide, Not Going To Jail

“Should I begin making with the snot?”
“Nah, kid, you ain’t going to jail. Save it for outside.”

Yesterday, Oscar Pistorius was found not guilty of murder despite firing a gun four times into a closed bathroom killing his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp who he “thought was an intruder” after just talking to her. However, people who like to get their panties in a bunch about “Internet outrage” cautioned that he would almost definitely be found guilty of culpable homicide and see the inside of a jail cell. Well, exactly one of those things happened. Try and guess which one. Reuters report:

Culpable homicide – South Africa’s equivalent to manslaughter – carries up to 15 years in prison but, given Pistorius’s lack of previous convictions, he could avoid a custodial sentence altogether, legal experts said.
“He’s almost certainly, in my opinion, not going to be going to jail,” criminal law expert Martin Hood told South Africa’s ENCA television.

Before white people starting shooting their wives/girlfriends through closed bathroom doors, keep in mind that this happened in South Africa, and I like how I just said that as if it means anything. Just pretend I’m not here.

Photos: Getty