Orlando Bloom almost killed a scooter rider on Monday when he pulled out in front of the guy without looking, sending him flying to the ground. The victim says:
“It’s only good luck that I’m here to tell the tale. He can’t have looked in his mirrors. I flew off and hit the ground hard, rolling three times. If there’d been a car coming the other way, I’d be dead.” When an ambulance arrived to whisk Szydlowski, who suffered deep cuts and internal bleeding, to hospital, Bloom jumped in the back and scribbled a note saying, ‘Sorry mate!’ and signed it. Szydlowski adds, “We both had to give breath tests. He did ring to check I was all right.”
I wish I was famous so I could run over people and just give them autographs as an apology. “What? I ran over your kid? Here’s an autographed picture of me. Now we’re even.” Except we wouldn’t be even. They’d owe me money. Because photo prints aren’t cheap, man.
First off, I don’t write Useless Things, I just help promote it for my friend.
Secondly, you are all on crack.
First off, I don’t write Useless Things, I just help promote it for my friend.
Secondly, you are all on crack.
34 mamacita–
you are my new hero! i’d forgotten about those shitty things!
remember when crayola made a “flesh” colored crayon? i never know what to use to color people anymore!!
man, those flashbacks are a bitch!
Golly MeganHairAss, your promoting prowess is so effective, like there are ZERO comments on that stupid blog.
I say Poppycock to you MeganHarris! PoppyCOCK!
I disagree, MeganHarris, everything you write is useless.
My favorite Crayola invention was when they made the bad ass 96-pack that had a sharpener AFFIXED TO THE INSIDE OF THE BOX!!! That was marketing genius. My favorite color was cerulean blue, but I never knew how to say it.
@49 Yes, they did melt easily. That was how they made a profit. Even though their shitty colors cost less, you had to buy them more often because they melted so quikcly. Well, and because you’d end up breaking them in a fit of rage after it ruined your special picture that included a house, a beautiful garden, a 3/4 sun in the top corner, and some lovely clouds with birds that looked like M’s.
@53 “man, those flashbacks are a bitch!” Huh. No kidding. Why don’t the assholes who package LSD warn you about that?
@56 WORD.
Who the hell is Orlando Bloom?
#58, in what hole, under which rock have you been living????
Orlando Blooms are crazy.
Not even man enough to be driving drunk. This guy doesn’t deserve to be famous.
I heard Orlando was gettina a knob job at the time of the “accident”. Hugh Grant was reported fleeing the scene.
Drives like an old man…hooks up with old men, what’s the difference?
@48
Yep. I think he’d take a mean one up the ass.
A gay actor who works really hard to convince people that he doesn’t love the cock. What are the odds, …
@48
Yep. I think he’d take a mean one up the ass.
A gay actor who works really hard to convince people that he doesn’t love the cock. What are the odds, …
I don’t care if he likes the cock, he can hit my (s)cooter anytime!
I always wanted to watch Bloom and the guy who played Frodo made out.
I like gay porn; regardless how fug the men are.
make* out.
-sigh
he
So this is what women get wet over somebody willing to say Im sorry after almost commiting vehicular manslaughter great taste ladies. Your not shallow nah you want funny guys, with a sweet heart and a personality. I geuss that means Stephen Hawking must get all the loose pussy in the world.
70 – Women like guys with good punctuation that can spell. Sorry, brah.
I heard that he visits the guy in the hospital every day, rode with him in the ambulance on tha way to th hospital and tat the guy isn’t sueing because he likes Orlando Bloom so much.
…and Sandra Day O’Connor has her choice of hard cocks. Joe, why are you gettin’ all self-righteous when ladies start salivating? I don’t see you complaining here when dudes start talking about bending Jessica Simpson over. Are you implying that fantasizing about Orlando Bloom in a bunny suit makes me shallow?
FYI, that bitch Hawking left his wife for his nurse. He’s a real sweetheart!
I have not been to The Superficial in a week
and I come back today to find that the same
people are still being silly, shrill, foolish and
BEYOND superficial.
We should be making fun of celebrities and
not the people who post here multiple times
a day.
What DOES one have to do to be banned
from this site?
Just wondering…
@74
So, here’s a serious question. I’m not trying to be mean or offensive. If the definition of ‘shrill’ is:
shrill
adj. shrill
74: I don’t know what it takes to get banned from this site but I do know what it takes to get made fun of & you are a prime example. Pussybag.
“I’m here to tell the tale.”
What? Is this guy a pirate? Since when did pirates ride scooters?
Why did you let me hit you going 80 !!! why were you stopped at a red light !! Ahhhh !!!!! …… The guy falls off a scooter rolled around and has internal bleeding , a scooter like a moped … so he fell 3 or feet down then rolled a few feet … the guys on jackass do more dangerous shit then that with less injuries … what a puss … dont trip you might break your neck !
I luv orly!!!!!! so if he hit a kid as long as he didn’t die i am ok wit dat sooo yeah thats just what i think he’s amazung why let one thing screw w/ him!!