Apparently Orlando Bloom subscribes to the Britney Spears’ School of Hygiene because his girlfriend Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr (above) wants him to quit being such a filthy bastard, according to Star:
“Miranda thinks Orlando is too smelly. Recently, she asked him if he could wash his clothes and perhaps shower more often.”
When he’s not working on a film, the Pirates of the Caribbean star, 31, “goes days without washing his clothes,” adds the source. “He’ll wear the same jeans for a week before he throws them in the washer. Same goes for his sweaters, T-shirts and socks.”
It doesn’t help that he sleeps with his dog, Sidi, and lets her slobber all over him.
If a Victoria’s Secret model told me to take a shower in order to learn her secret (which better not be a penis this time), I’d be scrubbing down like there was no tomorrow. Mostly because I wake up every morning and roll around in the mud with my pet pig Hewey. I named him after my favorite singer: Jennifer Love Hewitt. But not because she’s fat. I just respect her as an artist – who loves bacon.
ANYTHING WITH ORLANDO BLOOM IS WIN
click on my name dammit, we need more diggs ;)
Orlando Bloom smells like Keath Ledger………
I see what you did there.
I’d get cleaned up for her! As clean as she wants me… I mean, who needs that first layer of skin anyway?
he has a huge knot on his head and that lady’s shirt is see-through.
Did you see the fucking eyes of this woman? ET, phone home.
*Heath Ledger is what I was going for……
This just in, Italian Stallion is a dumb-ass………..
Seriously? Clean the fuck up, dude. Given a choice between lack of hygiene and access to her secret, take the latter. Because she doesn’t want you up in there if your definition of “cleaning up” is Febreeze. Stop taking your hygiene tips from Johnny Depp dressed up as Jack Sparrow.
Bitch
I love the dress. Maybe she will let me borrow it sometime..
Don’t get me wrong, I’d hump her like I just got released from prison. I would have to have that ET music on in the background however.
Showers are for fags
Mostly he reeks of other mens’ semen. She kinda avoided that one.
Rub rub rub one out
Rub rub rub one out
The man in that picture looks like a terrorist! Quick, somebody, kill him! I’m having a panic attack that he will rape me and my family. Damnit, I’ve wet my pants…yes, again.
I’ve never been asked to shower by a woman. However, in college I did wake up once with a note taped to my chest saying, “Ted, I had to leave. You’re farts were too bad.”
#15 – Your ideas intrigue me. I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.
beer + late night Mexican food = empty bed in the morning
Ted, a friend of mine told me about that. It’s what you’re supposed to say when you find out the guy’s dick is tiny.
Cindy dear, I have a 9 inch dick, honestly. I’m guessing burried in your bucket of a beaver, it might seem tiny.
LOL Cindy it’s so true! My friends (who are girls) had to explain that to me when I got that note– Er… Nevermind.
Yeah Cindy, you call small penis, I call Grand Canyon Vagina (not all girls are fistable you know). What was I originally going to post? Oh yeah….
Stinky McStinkFace!!!
She is gorgeous. seems saw her before on a celebrity and millioniare dating site millionairefriends.com. It is said she has major crush there.
Ted, again, according to the lore your confident size estimates are why girls are bad at math.
Has anybody hear about Pop Fiction. This show on E! Its going to be on air March 9th. If anybody know about it let me know. Also ive seen these. I think this show is going to be good. It has to be its so secretive. Here the link
http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/popfiction/index.jsp
CHAOS IS COMING. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
o HOLLYWOOD ARMAGEDDON. RESISTANCE FUTILE. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
Did anything ever happen after to this limey sissy coward ran away from his car accident? Also why is the Fish showing pictures of a VS model with clothes on?
@25 buy a banner ad you filthy fucking stealth marketer. Fish, you going to put up with that crap?
#22 – or maybe you have a very small hand?
I guess Orlando just likes the Pirate way of life now!
I would wash Orlando for her..
@25- we’ve reached new levels here. Fuckwads..
that veronica vaughn is one piece of AISCHE
@28: If if’s and but’s were candy and nuts, oh what a wonderful Christmas!!
if he’s not washing his clothes he’s probably not washing his ass either. but seriously, i think it’s a guy thing. i know plenty of dudes who don’t wash after friday morning until monday morning, unless some vag is being tossed their way.
it’s all about the vag. no many is going to bother to be fresh otherwise.
yeah it’s totally a guy thing not to wash. and isn’t it so nasty when it comes to blow job time? god…smells gross.
Come on, don’t be fools. He wants to minimize the number of times he has to have sex with his beard. It’s hilarious that she has no clue.
I wasn’t aware that Orlando Bloom was from a black family.
THAT GIRL IS UGLY! FUCK HER.
Kay wait a sec, as if anyone actually washes a pair of jeans after one wear. A week without washing your jeans is fuck all. I understand you gotta change your damn socks but who has time to do laundry every day? Unless you have a maid i guess, but still…
what fucking planet is she from?
He thinks he’s a pirate in real life
A butt pirate.
@36: Nope, he is descended from European peasant stock. You know, the one ethnicity on the frig’n planet who never managed to go anywhere without spreading either disease, pestilence, famine or war on the indigenous civilizations they interacted with. Even if said civilization was the sole reason they were able to survive in the new environment. So horrendous is their moral core, that they never even managed to break away from this pattern of behavior, even amongst other “white” groups, why do you think that is? You know, viruses display a similar behavior on all forms of life, either eukaryotic or prokaryotic. Very strange, very strange indeed, perhaps some sort of generalized mental illness that permeates the very essence of their genetic core, thus allowing us to see the manifestation we have today.
Here is some food for thought, how can one person’s ancestor, be a Christian or even actually believe they follow the Bible or are in God’s good graces. When they subjugate, brutalize, kidnap, rape and brutalize another civilization; unless they are all prone to some mental disease that allows them to think such acts of inhumanity can somehow be forgiven in a way that still makes them a Good Christian? No no no, God doesn’t turn a blind eye to the “situational,” time based, mishaps of we mortals. If such acts are considered immoral now then they were always immoral, more so in His eye’s. Those ancestors didn’t die Good Christian Men, they are burning in hell, for how they have treated their fellow God created brethren, and you will too.
Seriously, if a woman has to tell you to shower…that’s pathetic.
What? Is showering illegal in Europe or something?!?!?
.
#43
i’ve dated quite a few Europeans and they were cleaner (bodily as well as their homes) than the American guys I’ve dated. But I’ve also dated some American guys who were clean and one Indian dude who was just ridiculously musty. There was no taming those armpits. Anyway, I don’t think it’s a “where you’re from thing” but more of a personal lifestyle preference.
The least he could do is wash his vagina. No big deal anyway, if she has to dump him she can always stand in front of a mirror and paint a stupid douchey beard on her reflection whenever she misses him.
re:44
so basically what you’re telling us is that you get around? can i call you sometime?
#42? I’m not worried about some invisible being. I don’t believe in that nonsense, never have. While you’re under your white sheets at night cowering in silence, I’m out there listening to Cannibal Corpse, worshipping porno, and fucking children.
Can’t keep a good man down.
Wait: Are you kidding?
P.S. I’m kidding, obviously; I worship Satan. Heil Satan!
Pop Fiction
http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/popfiction/index.jsp
o CHAOS IS COMING. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
o HOLLYWOOD ARMAGEDDON. RESISTANCE FUTILE. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
o HOLLYWOOD HAS LOST ITS MIND. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
o HOLLYWOOD IS A GAME. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
o HOLLYWOOD WILL HAVE ITS REVENGE. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
Pop Fiction
http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/popfiction/index.jsp
o CHAOS IS COMING. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
o HOLLYWOOD ARMAGEDDON. RESISTANCE FUTILE. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
o HOLLYWOOD HAS LOST ITS MIND. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
o HOLLYWOOD IS A GAME. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
o HOLLYWOOD WILL HAVE ITS REVENGE. POP FICTION. MARCH 9. E! THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
Further: The only reason black society never spread any diseases (other than present day HIV; condoms?), is because they lacked the intelligence, and technology to travel. They were so very primitive; their world consisted of a few square miles. Like apes.
Not much has changed for Africa — Except for that shining beacon of hope named The United States of America.
Be happy you’re here, yellow-whites.