Orlando Bloom & Miranda Kerr ain’t nothin’ but mammals

February 27th, 2009 // 90 Comments

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom decided to show the world how two beautiful people make-out yesterday. Funny, this is absolutely nothing like the way I do it. Unless there was an exchange of money beforehand then, yeah, they pretty much nailed it.

Photos: Flynet

  1. yep

    he’s ugly now

  2. Orlando

    FIRST you skinny closeted homos

  3. Sam

    So he’s changed his name to Spencer Bloom?

  4. Valerie

    I’m NOT diggin’ on his hair……WTF?

  5. steve

    Please. When a hetero guy kissing a girl, that’s not where his hands go. One gropes her boob, the other gropes her pussy. It’s fucking ROMANTIC.

  6. A

    I think these are sweet. If she sees these on the Internet I bet she saves them.

  7. Valerie

    Anyone think his nipples are too far apart?

  8. They are totally mugging for the cameras. Ha

  9. With all the places these two shape shifters can solicit the papaRATzies they choose the balcony of some hotel,,,how tacky! and girls like this goofball!

  10. Orlando Bloom

    “What’s black and blue and afraid of sex? The Filipino boy tied to the bed in this hotel room!”

  11. g_girl

    shit, i fucking starving for a man.

  12. gigi

    HOT. although, withoutmake up & airbrushing, she looks kinda round-the-way girl-ish meh….. hope they break up soon – he can do better

  13. bob

    pulling away a little…

  14. needzmoarfuds

    shit damn thats cute.

  15. what in the hell happened to his head??

  16. Richard McBeef

    g_girl – I have a penis… you mentioned something about starving?

  17. He loves ‘em skinny!

  18. Beth

    He and John Mayer would make a perfect look-like-each-other gay couple.

  19. GuyHolly

    His nex movie must be a seventies porn.

  20. Stan

    So….this bit of theater means that any day now, a tabloid will publish a story about Orlando’s numerous gay hookups.

  21. jrz

    who is miranda kerr? besides Orlando Bloom’s beard.

  22. She starred in that show about the thing.

  23. Apes in the White House


    That’s what makes it fun, those tight little virgin boys. All that bucking and whimpering. It sucks when they’re too eager and worldly and can suck a dick like a pro. I stopped banging my mom for that very reason.

  24. GuyHolly

    Orlnado must have a thing for prepubesant boys.

  25. ur mom


  26. ur mom


  27. Darth

    I’ve never heard of these two people????

  28. Ang

    That’s a skinny girl. After she performs his favorite sex act she has to wash all the way up to her elbow.

  29. Darth

    *Drums* Here is the real Darth Does anyone care? Didn’t think so

  30. Tom Cruise

    Don’t be glib. I believe their love is genuine.

  31. GuyHolly

    #27 Orlando was Frodo’s fluffer in LOTR, duh.

  32. Darth

    Tom Cruise is that really you? #30 I am such a fan. I would…. oh oh you know I really would sexy

  33. lola

    They are such a cute couple. Orlando seems like he really loves her, but he doesn’t look like the best kisser.

  34. Weed

    What the fuck?

    it looks like lesbians making out

  35. Ted

    He’s confident he can make out with her on the balcony in full view of the cameras without having to worry about an erection poking out.

  36. Darth

    ****Ding Ding**** Takes finger out of my butt. Real Darth here ummmm never mind. Puts finger back

  37. Nancy

    I wonder which it was for her, rape or incest. Because clearly she wants a boyfriend who won’t penetrate her.

  38. He is gay, and she is wearing 70′s prom dress.. why am I reading this?

  39. Susan

    I love the picture where he’s gripping the railing like he’s in the dentist’s chair.

  40. R. Gere

    He’s a very talented actor. He made it seem effortless to hold the gerbil in for that entire time.

  41. Darth

    Orlando bloom probably just wanted to meditate in all peace on the balcony and now this girl is bothering him!? What a shitty life he must have?

  42. Darth

    Orldano Magic probably just wanted to masturbate and pee off the balcony and now this whore is all over him!? what a shitty life he must have…. oh wait maybe he likes girls all over him like I like guys all over me….. forget I wrote any of this

  43. Darth

    Their tongues are probably exercising the lotus position.Ooohmslrp!

  44. everyone

    fake “Darth” just stfu, you’re boring as hell.

  45. LittleFilipinoBoyTiedUpInOrlando'sHotelRoom

    Orlando is for sure gay. I should know. What’s weird is why he wants his girlfriend to watch.

  46. crap actor

    Dunno about being gay, but he’s a crap actor who got lucky. I can’t think of one memorable performance of his

  47. producer

    This is part of the ad campaign for DreamWorks Pictures’ summer blockbuster, “Hotel For Skeletons”.

  48. fecal actress

    Dunno, I thought the sexual tension was magnificent between Legolas and Gimli.

  49. Lowlands

    While i was away i see Darth has made himself pretty popular? Are you trying to steal my girl Darth? It’s pretty much as real life.

  50. feckless

    I can’t comment on this. I am still shell-shocked by Mrs. Schwarzenegger’s face. Please go easy on Arnold’s political productiveness. The man is working under stress.

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