Orlando Bloom is a knight in shining armor

October 12th, 2007 // 89 Comments

Orlando Bloom was involved in a wreck last night. After being cut off, he crashed his vehicle into a parked Porsche. He had two female passengers in the car that were both injured. Check out Orlando’s heroic actions immediately after the crash. TMZ reports:

In video taken immediately following this morning’s accident, Bloom can be seen walking away from the scene, leaving two women — one injured and bleeding — in his smashed-up ride. Nice guy!

After walking down the block, the paparazzi repeatedly advise Bloom to go back to the accident scene and “deal with it,” saying that if he leaves, it could be a hit and run.

Despite Orlando exhibiting erratic behavior after leaving the Green Room in Hollywood, police are ruling out drugs and alcohol as the cause of the accident, according to TMZ:

Police tell us that they did not administer a blood alcohol test at the scene, and would not say if one was given at all. But, they insist he was not under the influence.

So basically what the police are saying is that Orlando wasn’t drunk or high when he left two chicks bleeding in his car. This evidence confirms a theory I’ve long held about Orlando Bloom: He’s a giant pussy. But, let’s be serious for a moment. Orlando, I’m here for you. If you want to take my world-renowned hero classes, the door is always open. But it’s not for the weak. If you’re uncomfortable using your raw sexuality like I do to battle famine, disease and killer robots, you can always check out amateur pottery down the hall. It’s conveniently located next to the ladies room which I hear you’ve been to quite often – to pee sitting down.

NOTE: The above video is of Orlando leaving the Green Door in Hollywood about 15 minutes before the accident.


  1. Gianny

    she is to sexy!! HERE ! NEW PIC

  2. amused

    Are you saying that if we haven’t been in an accident before we are retarded? lol
    That makes a lot of sense. I would say retarded people have a much higher chance of being in an accident.

  3. not that bad.

    #14 sounds like you have a fucking dangerous amount of karma to contend with in the future. If you even knew what karma was you wouldn’t be talking excessive shit like that.
    Well I know i’m here bitching but at least i’m not as pathetic as that fucker. That makes me feel a bit better about life.

  4. aliaspaint

    People that feed off other peoples personal life are known as bottom feeders.
    They must feel great feeing off the lives of others….
    Fuck you get a real job

  5. whatever

    I didn’t know Orlando Bloom was Ted Kennedy’s son.

  6. Sue

    Clearly Orlando is just a trashy, bad person. If he leaves the scene or intends to leave the scene and is talked into returning, can he be prosecuted? Ug. He’s just gross.

  7. aliaspaint wtf

    alias wtf are you talking about ? weirdo
    what job are you talking about? I guess you’re not doing any feeding. I bet you “accidently” came to this site, decided to tell us off then you have closed the page never to return to this terrible site ever again!!!

  8. Missystar

    I like how that one chick keeps cawing, “ORLANDO….ORLANDO…ORLY!!!” and he pays no attention to her whatsoever.

  9. jdu

    What kind of lame ass nickname is Orly?

  10. not that bad

    I just like getting it up the as all day long and I can’t understand why people come to a celebrity trashing site to trash celebs.

  11. ahleexis

    I really love how the paps were calling the accident, saying, “this is not good.”

    Couldnt they back off?? wtffffff. evil.

  12. not that bad

    oh and I can’t even spless as or is its azz, whatever I can’t spell it all I can do is smell it, sweet sweet fudgy penis hole that’s waht I like to call it.

  13. OBLTC

    @ #40: No you did not see a dope deal go down, you saw Orlando Bloom trying to convince the guy in the loose tie to accept a blow job.

    Orlando Bloom loves the cock. When Orlando writes letters, he signs them Orlando “Penis Breath” Bloom.

  14. jessica

    if I heard “oly let’s go!” one more fucking time in her slag english voice ….. I want to shoot that bitch!!!!!

  15. spencelovesbrit

    the chick was driving BUT – wanna be DJ comment – the dick then switched seats with the drunk ho he was with. he was driving at the time of the accident idiot

  16. suprsupbitches

    The bloke in the silver car with the tie kinda looks like the guy who plays ‘James Whistler’ in Prison Break. Maybe Orlando’s trying to score himself another acting gig? Look at the tie-guy’s eyes, he’s definitely high on something.

    ORLANDO! ORLANDO! OORRRLLLAAANNNDDDOOOOO! Damn that chick reminds me of my mates mum when she calls after her husband, sounds like a friggin sea-gull (MARK! MARK! MMMAAAARRRRKKKK!). Still, that ‘skanky/posh’ brit accent the chick in the video has would go alright in the bedroom.

  17. biana

    orlando bloom is justin timberlakes long lost brother

  18. kitty_kat

    I don’t even understand what I just saw, but its obvious that he’s on something.

  19. lg

    Someone else might have mentioned this (I didn’t bother reading all the comments) but he was most likely in shock. It happens to people in car accidents.

  20. OBLTC

    @ #70 & #71: Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Orllando “Penis Breath” Bloom was just upset and preoccupied because he didn’t get to suck cock.

  21. whoa

    i love you orlando bloom.

  22. a-hole

    I hate to be the owner of that porsche!!!

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  23. thegod

    He’s on crack if he thinks he can get away with this….

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  24. thegod

    I wonder what the two chicks were doing when he had the accident?

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  25. thegod

    more power to yah Orlando!!!!

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  26. thegod

    YOU ROCK!!!

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  27. thegod


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  28. thegod

    what goes around comes around, or is it the other way around…

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  29. thegod

    I think Orlando is kinda kewl driving with two chicks with him…

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  30. gerard Vandenberg

    Girls IN th car. FAGGOTS in the trunk!!

  31. Borelando Bloom has AIDS

    He is exactly like the character, Paris, that he played in Troy – an uber pussy that you just want to see beaten into a bloody pulp. Fucking coward.

  32. Marcelo

    I am not first! but I am the 84 lol




    Orlando “Penis Breath” Bloom loves the cock. Orlando “Penis Breath” Bloom can be found bug chasing in the nearest tea room; he’ll try to get it from any old skidrow bum. He wants to take it in the bum too. Orlando “Penis Breath” Bloom wants someone to take a dump in his mouth and he sucks donkey dong in Mexican donkey shows.

  34. Junk In the Trunk

    Yeah I thought that guy driving that car at the start of the vid was high , I noticed it right off the bat. I bet it was too a drug deal between them! Oh well thats what I would do if I was rich and famous like Orlando Bloomin Onion LOL.BTW #37, Pantera rulez! To #14 ??????????????????????????? If you hate celebs why are you looking at this site. Go away and change your maxi pad or something ,sheesh

  35. John

    Orlando looked like he was trying to pick up that Dude’s girlfriend and the guy was pissed and ready to smack him.

    But can you blame him, who the hell was she, she was Adriana Lima hot!

    As for the other two girls, it looked like they where just friends of his from England and one of them was driving. Originally I thought they where probably two skanks he picked up in the club.

    Very misleading articles, if Superficial keeps this up then what I’m I to believe. Maybe Lohan really has the purity of Sister Bernadette – or is that just the coke she gets.

  36. maya

    WHAt i SEE , is a a cute , polite guy talkig to another guy :::

    SO what ever you speculate and goooo wafter the guy like he was your pray …
    DEMMMM ..LIVE HIM SOME privacy …IM surprised you dont folow hi to the tolilet …..

    THIS whole shit reminds me of LADY DI ..situation…and Paparazzi
    just gooo toooo far .:BABLING like OLD LADDies with NOO lives

    Accident that happened after was clearly a result of ::::::PAPS ..persuit
    TO caouse an accident and film it …WHO ASKED IF ORLANDO AND THE GIRLS WERE OK………….WHO was the one who filmed it ..
    DID he asked for police and help .was he there ..

    SHAM;E OF YOU …he is allways polite to EVERYBODY ..say in g you need
    to have your breed earned ..SOOOO ..shame on you

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