Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst get it on

November 21st, 2006 // 68 Comments

Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst have reportedly been seeing each other for over a month now after becoming close on the set of Elizabethtown. Last week they were spotted “kissing and cuddling in the corner of the lobby bar” in Los Angeles at the Chateau Marmont. A friend of Orlando says:

“Kirsten reminds him of what Kate used to look like before her dramatic weight loss. It was so much fun for him to be with her because she seemed carefree and not obsessed about fattening foods. Kirsten can also let her hair down a bit and isn’t worried about being the most fashionable girl in the room. Orlando likes that she can look a bit dishevelled, he thinks it’s sexy. Kate would never go out unless she looked perfectly coiffed and that got a bit tiring.”

So basically Orlando Bloom is going out with Kirsten Dunst because she’s fat and ugly and doesn’t mind going out in public looking like this. I mean, Jesus, low standards is one thing but this is just sick. He sounds like the kind of guy who swings by reitrement homes to hit on grandmas. And then when he gets them he makes them dress up like truckers.


  1. assfacecocknocker

    if i didnt havta sign in i woulda been first bitches!

  2. assfacecocknocker

    hay, i was first!! im king of the world!!!!!

    i have a small life.

  3. ZoomBoy

    No one cares assfacecocknocker.

  4. JoBOO

    He must be blind and stoopid.


  5. SonJaSpiCe

    I think it’s kinda creepy to date someone who reminds you of your ex… but I dunno– Good for them? Take that skinny, skinny Kate? Whatevs, she’s a much better actress then Kirsten anyway. Speaking strickly comicbook-wise.

  6. PrettyBaby

    Holy shit, this is so disappointing. Orlando Bloom is sorta yummy but this stick figure????

    A pattern has emerged here-
    Orlando, Kate Bosworth, Kirsten Dunst
    Orly Bloom loves blonde stick figures.

  7. frenchtoaststix

    I don’t find either of them attractive. So who cares if they’re fucking?

  8. assfacecocknocker

    since im the only one posting i suppose i had post something relevant.

    she is fat and stupid and i would rather go out with that other hot bitch wat they was talkin bout that looks hot n shit.

  9. thebor

    I would have thought Bloom would be dating someone who looked like Johnny Depp.

    OBLTC so does Tom

  10. I find her somewhat attractive for a woman, not sure why the men I know find her so repulsive?

    Beats doing it with a Fleshlight anyway.


  11. Orland Bloom could have definitely got better, she’s…cute, though.


  12. biatcho

    Speaking of trolls, it’s been a while since we’ve heard from Dr. Sunken Tits. Nice, now I can go shove a fork up my own ass, Mr. Kramer!

  13. NipsyHustle

    once you go snagglepuss, you end up with a lacerated dick that requires 30 stitches.

  14. theblemish.com

    She must have planted a pretty good booby trap.


  15. mrs.t

    God, you guys, maybe she’s just really fun to hang out with. And maybe she LOVES anal.

  16. PrettyBaby

    #9 Hey thebor all I have to say is nooooooo!

    PrettyBaby’s prayer- Please Lord, Please do not let OBLTC or JDLTC. It’s not fair!!! NOOO!

    *composes self*

  17. Kristin

    Good for them.

  18. anal, schmanal, i don’t care if she’s a friggin nympho, what right-thinking man wants sex with an 8yr old son of dracula?

  19. sortit

    she looks like she would smell badly

  20. Angry Ferret Jones

    #19 – TCLT8YOSODC

  21. ponk

    lol ferret, TC clearly isn’t a right-thinking man, but you might be on to something.

  22. LilRach

    Well maybe Kirsten isn’t the dumb airheaded bimbo that you normally see on this site and Orlando can actually have a decent conversation with her. Fucking Kate Bosworth would have been like fucking a bag of bones.

    Jesus – some of you people can never be pleased! This sight is the SUPERFICIAL – you hate superficial people yet Kirsten is not superficial but you still mock her!

  23. LilRach

    She aint bad for an average hollywood girl. I would so prefer this than Kate’s skeletor body. http://www.generalcelebrities.net/celebrities/k/Kirsten_Dunst/images/full/KirstenDunst399.JPG

  24. girl-with-no-pants

    lucky her

  25. She’s cute, but no where near Mary Jane gorgeous that was needed for the role.

    It’s like casting an Olsen Twin as Emma Frost, it’s just not right.

    As Mad Jack? Sure, Dunst would have been a fine choice. But as the beautiful Mary Jane Watson? She falls a lot short.

    And — she’sa gotta dong.

    woot woot amen


  26. Jolene

    Call me crazy but I think she’s cute…and he’s so not, without his blond wig and elve’s ears^^

  27. EvilPotato

    I love how the quote makes it sound like Kirsten Dunst is the epitome of womanly curves. She’s stick-thin, too. I’m seeing a pattern here… Orlando Bloom likes skinny, skinny women.

    They’re probably just the next-best thing to the guys he wishes he was fucking.

  28. RichPort

    This ugly fucking vampiress Count Snaggletoothcula looking beeotch makes a serious argument for punching woman in the face, then kicking them in stomach when they’re rolling around on the floor. One! One black eye! HA HA HA… I’m just saying…

    Yes, misogyny is my life… just ask the wife. It’s like fucking Saw in my home… Where’s Mommy, Daddy?… Mommy’s on vacation sweetie… She’ll hobble back up when she learns to behave…

    Dirtbag Dunst inspires that kind of ire in me…

  29. Looking at her makes me hate women


  30. BarbadoSlim

    Such a cute lesbo couple, I really hope it works out for these two gals!!

  31. Courtney

    Oh whatever. I like her. She’s a cute skanky little vampire.

  32. Lauren

    Fat? What is that, the new catch-all insult now? Let’s call her gay and retarded while we’re at it.

  33. LilRach, you’re usually pretty reasonable.
    1.) as you know, nothing and nobody is sacred on this site. Jesus Christ himself would get slammed so please try not to get too offended when somebody you like gets hammered.
    2.) Kirstin has never done much for me, but that’s just my opinion. It’s OK if you like some of these celebs. I like some different ones that also get slammed. (shrug)

  34. outoftown

    i think she’s cute. at least she’s not retardedly stupid.

  35. amelie3007

    Yes!! I’m so happy…Kirsten Dunst is way more natural than Kate “Robot”worth who looks like she’s made of wax. Kirsten Dunst is gorgeous and cute and HUMAN. Good for you Orly!

  36. kenzier


    This SITE is called The Superficial because we embrace the superficial things–not because we hate them.

    And I just hate her becasue she can’t act for shit.

  37. aurealis

    Oh god! That’s so perverse. Next he’ll say that her smile is cute and not disastrously deformed.

  38. Why in the name of God’s green earth didn’t she ever
    get her snaggleteeth fixed! You know she had the
    money-why would anyone ever go through life
    with those horrible teeth? Does it look like there
    is something on her teeth in this picture-maybe
    a retainer?

  39. EvilPotato

    @23: She was good in Interview with the Vampire. Other than that, yeah, you’re pretty much right.

  40. EvilPotato

    I meant 37. EvilPotato = retarded

  41. meanimaus

    I think she could be prettier if, I don’t know, she washed her hair to begin with…and comb it…and wore more flattering stuff…and had some dentistry magic done..and if you used a soft focus camera and really good lighting…and maybe a body double… seriously though, she’s not all THAT fugly.She just looks average next to all these hollywood actresses.. but next to real life people, she’d be a cutie!…probably. Good for them if they are happy!

  42. English is not my first language so please be kind…. it took me months of lurking before posting!

  43. BoognishRising

    News flash: Danielle likes to suck her daddy’s sad HIV-ridden flatulent asshole. Suck a dick, cunt! Oops, I’m insulting you on a different thread now aren’t I? Like I said: suck a dick, cunt!

  44. HollyJ

    Going from Kate Bosworth to Kirsten is like going from Tiffany’s to the Walmart jewelry center.

  45. BoognishRising

    DanYELL! I so enjoy seeing you get worked up. Hee hee! Suck a dick, cunt!




  46. Sayonara

    wasn’t elizabethtown out like years ago…

    talk about delayed.

  47. seastay


    Actually it is more like going from the Walmart Jewelry counter to Big Lots. Or hell, even the Dollar Store.

  48. jrzmommy

    If you have too much to eat this Thanksgiving and feel the need to purge……think about this……imagine what Kirsten looks like when she wakes up with a massive hangover! Imagine that mouth breathing that breath through them snaggley teeth on your face. You open your eyes thinking someone has put a dead raccoon on the pillow next to you when…**SURPRISE*** it’s nasty old Kirsten lookin’ back at you with them fish eyes…….and you realize………you fucked her.

  49. RichPort

    Thanks Jrz… you owe me $6 for lunch, $45 for a new shirt, and $20 for a new keyboard. I vomitted after the visualization.

  50. frangly

    Okay, here’s what I don’t get: Why is Orlando Bloom dating any woman at all? Cuz you can’t fool this old fag hag: Bloom is The Gay. No doubt here. Gay gay gay.

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