Orlando Bloom Somehow Kept His Pants on for Once

As soon as my stuffy old dad and my stupid kid take off for snowcones I can probably get a solid 8 minutes of sun for my Bloomstick…

It seems weird not seeing Orlando Bloom as Legolas or naked on a paddle board with Katy Perry, but we got it here today. To hit my imaginary mancandy quota for the week it was a choice between this and Louie Anderson dunking a hoagie in ranch dressing, so… you’re welcome.

So here we are checking out the most recent addition to the ‘pussy posse’ wearing stupid pants because his stupid kid and his stupid dad don’t want to realize that they all probably have the same-looking penis. This is good though, it would be an entirely different story if O-town Bloom was overly chill about hanging out in an intergenerational nude party.

In a recent interview with KIIS FM’s Kyle and Jackie O, Katy Perry actually addressed Orlando Bloom’s gonzo-nose looking shlong pictures and why she kept her own pups locked up. From Us Weekly:

“He asked me if I wanted to be [naked] and I was just like, it’s one of those things where I was like, Oh nah,'” Perry, 32, recalled. “Just not in the mood.”

[…]

“You know when you’re dating someone sometimes, it’s exciting to be like, ‘Oh should we try and make out over here in this place?’ or what have you,” she added. “And I was just not in the mood. I saved it for the boat!”