The Orbit Gum Chick Seems Shy

July 27th, 2011 // 93 Comments

You ever find yourself watching those Orbit gum commercials and thinking, “Gee, I wonder what that blonde British chick telling me I have a dirty mouth (Real name: Vanessa Branch, by the way.) would look like in a bunch of saucy outfits?”

I can enter your thoughts.

NOTE: I’ve been informed there are two Orbit gum girls. This is the old one who says “Fabulous!” and the new one is Farris Patton. I can’t possibly know why anyone would know that or divulge that they do know that, but I guess that’s the point of having an Internet.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    miz
    Commented on this photo:

    haha first and if your not first your last!!!!

  2. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Commented on this photo:

    do chewing gum and roast beef go together? now they do…

    • TomFrank

      An English confectioner once invented a chewing gum with the flavors of tomato soup, roast beef, and blueberry pie. But something always went wrong when it came to the dessert…

  3. Donald Trump

    Ewww the face!

  4. miz

    haha first again

  5. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Commented on this photo:

    You don’t often find professional photographers catching themselves in the mirror…did she respond to a CraigsList “model wanted” ad?

  6. This seems less like a “photo shoot” and more like “guy with a camera cons a dumb chick”.

  7. Scott

    She’s now the spokes-model for the underwear visibility campaign.

  8. Tom

    So not only do the British oppress other people, but they also have no asses. Huh.

  9. Mmmmmm “fabulous”!

  10. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Commented on this photo:

    mmm that BUM is fabulous~

  11. Wrong

    That’s the old orbit girl. and she look it too.

  12. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Commented on this photo:

    silly girl, see thru tops are for when you go BRALESS

  13. Cardinal Fang

    I would love to doublemint her.

  14. Pippy Longcocking

    She can use her dirty mouth to clean my trouser sausage.

  15. If she is not going to show her twat I don’t really care. I might be willing to drop a load in her mouth and then toss her a pack of Orbit all the while screaming “clean that bitch!”

    Probably sex as well if she asked. Most likely. And by sex I mean anal.

    • KoldShadow

      Haha, yeah she’s hot but not that smoking to elicit a lengthy Google search unless she has pics that exceed the NC-17 rating, amirite? I co-sign everything else you said, too, werd up!

  16. RoboZombie

    Dirty Whore…i mean dirty mouth! yes, mouth.

    She’s sk=mokin’ hot.

  17. Leonardo will be tappin’ that by the end of the day. Then he’ll cast her aside and I’ll be right there to comfort her, soothe her and then bang her brains out with my penis tool.

  18. Bongo

    I bet her asshole tastes like peppermint

  19. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    HackSaw
    Commented on this photo:

    No matter what…

  20. smiley

    Holy shit, she is 38!!!! Damn, looks good for her age!

  21. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Em
    Commented on this photo:

    YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE YOU’RE a fucking retard.

  22. Carrie

    I think she’s cute.

  23. My Left Nut

    Nice chicklets.

  24. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Commented on this photo:

    yes, please.

  25. Drundel

    Pretty good for an old chick. Where are picts 15-20 years ago?

  26. Bafoon Qwalitee

    Her flavor lasts after a thorough wash

  27. Jackie

    You can see where the plastic surgeon sucked the fat out of her thighs, discussing and gross. She’s still much cuter than in those silly commercials though.

  28. crabby old guy

    That’s the NEW Orbit babe – a really poor man’s version of the original Orbit babe who was quite yummy. The new one, well, I guess I’d stick her on the bedpost when I was done with her for the night…but the original one would be chewing that gum like a beaver after what I put in her mouth.

  29. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    HiveMonster
    Commented on this photo:

    Who are you calling a cootie queen? You Lint LICKER!!!

  30. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    HiveMonster
    Commented on this photo:

    Pickle You, Cumquat!

  31. Deacon Jones

    She’s THAT girl you pick up at a bar or shore house party, take home, bada bing…..

    then you wake up in the morning, remember the night (in pieces), go to yourself “Oh shit, I think she’s laying next to me, yes!, she was so hot”, roll over in bed, and then go “Fuck me”.

  32. Richard McBeef

    i’d give her a dirty mouth to match her dirty ass.

  33. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Facebook Me
    Commented on this photo:

    I am hoping she will be dressed like this for the next Orbit gum commercial. Holy NICE ass!

  34. "Big" Palmer

    I would like to polish her coal chute ! This doesn’t seem as ominous as the kardassian ass .

  35. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    The only pic that is halfway appealing, probably because it shows the least of her.

  36. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    NYC I Banker
    Commented on this photo:

    what is that growth on her upper right thigh?

  37. The Best Policy

    colon… strollin’

  38. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Coyote
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think I have ever seen uglier shoes

  39. anonym

    she can sit on my face all day.

  40. KOOL GUY

    BEAUTY AT HER FINNEST!! “”TO WHOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM,do i owe this thankyou to for the joy! eyes have seen!”=====thankyou she is awesomely!;;;!:;;;;on behalf of me my self and i ! thankyou she is a beauty!

  41. The Critical Crassness

    Another scrawny, horse-face, British chick, with no fashion sense….big fucking news….how quickly we forget Posh Spice…

  42. cc

    Reasonably hot, but let’s face it there isn’t a hot women in this world who wouldn’t look better in one of my shirts.

    Besides, the giant tapeworm in that store is unpleasant.

  43. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Amir
    Commented on this photo:

    meh.

  44. Die Mohammed Die

    That is why women must wear the burqa.

  45. "Big" Palmer

    My spooge would clean up her dirty mouth

  46. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this is the best picture because in all the rest of them her face looks wrinkled and oily; the outfits and shoes are just horrendous.

  47. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    tunaman
    Commented on this photo:

    She reminds me of Gabrielle Anwar in that both were cute back when they had some “baby fat” in their faces. Now they’re both getting that “Skeletor look”. Still, she’s pretty hot for a 38 year-old. I love how some posters are all like “Ewwwww!!” when you know full well they wouldn’t kick them outta bed.

  48. Orbit Gum Girl Panties Flash Vanessa Branch
    tunaman
    Commented on this photo:

    Also, I wonder if this is how Kristen Bell will look in 14(ish) years.

  49. Beefarino

    I wouldn’t mind having her taste in my mouth.

  50. Venom

    She seems fun.

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