Oprah not invited to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding

November 14th, 2006 // 91 Comments

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes arrived in Rome yesterday to prepare for their upcoming wedding over the weekend, but sources have confirmed that Oprah wasn’t invited to the ceremony. Despite being the launching pad for their wacky interstellar relationship, Oprah just didn’t make the cut. She says:

“It’s not that I’m not going. It’s that they had a limited number of people that they could invite. I was not one the invitees. That’s fine. I don’t get invited to everyone’s wedding. I don’t invite them to everything I do. But I wish them the best. I have a great deal of regard for their relationship and so I’m trying to think of what to get them. I don’t know! I was thinking … I’m easier (to shop for) – you can get me a bubble bath I’m okay – but I don’t know what to give them.”

Additionally, Katie Holmes’ alleged new best friend and Tom Cruise’s mortal enemy, Brooke Shields, is set to attend. Which makes absolutely no sense. Unlike their belief in intergalactic space lords. That stuff’s rock solid.


  1. sexybitch

    No explanation as to why they invited Matt Lauer…

  2. onecritic

    Since getting with Tom, Katie has begun to dress and comport herself like my 70-year old stepmother.

  3. Italian Stallion

    Has anyone ever clicked the blackbeatpress link on #49?
    If you have then you know this motherfucker (Triumph) looks just like Carlton Banks on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I could be a little wrong though, they all look alike.

    “I’ve tried to picture what you look like”….Stop having dreams about me you faggot…..I’m sure you’re dancing around singing Tom Jones as we speak, thinking of me…….
    *going to throw the fuck up*

  4. outrageous.opinion

    this wedding has got to be the biggest publicity joke ever. And the Joke is on the everyone who believes this wedding will infact produce a legal marriage.

    As of 3 days ago, it was reported that the marriage wont be legal. the paper work was not submitted for state marriage, and Tom cant qualify for a catholic marriage.

    Its a big grand stand act and it makes me sick.

  5. I guess, I could give her my invitation, I was not planning on going anyway.


  6. sexybitch

    Oprah will go off and do something productive, like try to break into Hermes 15 minutes after closing.

  7. PrettyBaby

    WTF?! I just was looking at the Tara Reid thread. I don’t know if I should say it………. but I llllooovvve danielle’s prom pic. My Lord. hahahhahahah I know it could have been trolled , but I prefer to believe it to be real!!

  8. NipsyHustle

    supposedly katie has spent 3 grand on wedding night lingerie. i think she really spent the money on a dick transplant.

  9. RichPort

    #59 – Strap-ons cost 3Gs? I bet she could get it done for whatever it costs to buy one of those ill-formed squashes and duct tape. What’s that, like $7, tops?

  10. kate

    Bleech. This whole wedding thing skeeves me out. I heard a Catholic ceremony on Saturday and a Scientology wedding on Sunday? And WHAT is UP with those crazy vows? Give her a frying pan? Why, to keep the rest of the crazies in Tom’s life away from her?

  11. kate

    And why is she constantly sticking her tongue out? Annoying McDrivesmenuts.

  12. PrettyBaby

    All I hope is that after the Space Nuptuals, the Superfish posts plenty of pics. I am hoping for a horrible man hug between Travolta and the Cock Lover. Well, hoping is not quite the word; dreading is more like it.

    And Katie always has her tongue out cuz she is a brain washed cunt who appears to NEVER be with her baby. I also hate her pants.

    P.S. I am soooo disappointed in Brooke Shields. For fucks sake…

  13. sexybitch

    That tongue out thing is a common side effect of a lobotomy. Drooling, too.

  14. xo_breathless

    are scientologists forbidden to use tailors?

  15. Tracy

    I got them a “Dr. Bob’s Pickle Tickler” strap-on/vibrator combo. It was the cheapest thing on their registry at Down-Low Don’s Dildo-Rama. They have fancy taste.

  16. EliasAlucard

    Then bucks they didn’t invite Oprah because she’s black. Those damn racists.


  17. thunderkat69

    Katie’s gonna walk into the reception and it will be like that mansion scene in eyes wide shut only full of turd burglers and reynold’s wrap hat wearers

  18. Libraesque

    OH DAMN, Oprah did the read between the lines smackdown

  19. jesseeca

    I’m pretty sure it’s not possible to have a catholic ceremony given the fact that Tom is divorced, not catholic & gay.

  20. prettierthanyou

    Why would Oprah buy a gift for a wedding that she is not invited to?

  21. Tits_McGhee

    Oprah should get them a new closet for Tom to come out of.

  22. 86

    Wow first Hermes and now Tom.

  23. 86

    I wonder if sex with Tom is like fucking an angry smurf?

  24. Sheva

    Well with the surrendercrats win, we all know that the terrorists are feeling good enough to lauch more attacks.

    When it comes to an attack in Italy on Tomkat’s wedding, I’m with the terrorists.

    Allahu TCLTC

  25. ph7

    she’s in good shape for some one who squeezed out a kid six months ago or whatever. Not all sloppy like britney – tight as a drum.

  26. mrs.t

    I will be sending Kate a plastic surgery gift card. Down Syndrome looking bitch.

  27. auzzie2006

    What’s with those teenie, eenie, little bang thingy’s???

  28. Aristotrash

    Man, what did Tom do to that girl? I used to think that Katie Holmes was one of those people who could never look bad EVER. Now she barely looks good at all. She has that weird face fat that comes from popping too many Vicodins and her skin looks like it never sees the light of day. I still can’t make sense of any of this.

    And then again, if someone told me that he would finance my $10 million dream wardrobe if I just went through with a sham wedding, I might partake. I just might.

  29. pumpkinpye

    Bumping meatballs, bumping bagels…it’s all gay to me.

  30. pumpkinpye

    Poor Orca Swim-free, she probably just wanted to go to TomKat’s wedding for the food anyways.

  31. aurealis

    Other than shopping for too big pants that accentuate her non-butt, what does this woman do exactly? Yeah, yeah, she was in batman begins… but again, she didn’t really do anything. Or maybe she’s accentuating Tom’s acting with her non-carreer.

  32. beifiori

    what in the hell is with all the pants she wears? why, why, whyyyyyyyy does she feel the need to put on stillettos AND THEN try them on, and yet they STILL drag the ground? i don’t get it, is the tailor blind or something?

  33. charles

    that’s because if she goes to the wedding and jumps on couches, she will probably break them. and knowing tom-kat, they have $900,000 couches there.

  34. kacsing

    LAST!!!! WAHOOO!

  35. nicholelibra

    nicole, go fuck yourself it was an accident =) like your face.
    It doesn’t matter if you posted it once or three times. You’re still an asshole for posting “First” anyhow. What’s the point of posting “First” if you have nothing meaningful to say? Oh yeah, that’s right! Only attention whores do stupid shit like that.

  36. cardio

    Not sure if he’s wearing a tux or just a suit, but regardless, you can bet he’ll have a Cincinnati bowtie.


  37. HughJorganthethird

    I invited Oprah to my wedding, bitch never showed. Now I’m divorced. thanks alot Oprah.

  38. 1985_binion's_poker_champion

    Boo – freakin – hoo

  39. J.P.

    I’ve heard that Katie’s going to play Diana in a revival of “V”,that’s why she keeps looking like she’s dislocating her jaw like a snake.

  40. ha ha….good way to stick it to her

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