Olympia Valance Bikini Photos Are The Crap I Missed

I have no clue who Olympia Valance is but I’m fairly certain she isn’t so high she constantly goes to bat for Woody Allen, attempts to defeat bullies by loading their guns full of ammunition, or shoves her tongue and tiny golden hands all over women who want nothing to do with her. In other words, she has done nothing that’s made me want to drag a Magic Eraser across my brain, so I love her and we are getting married. Or I’ll just look at her in these photos with the rest of your creeps. Either way, I’m good.

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Photo: Xposure / AKM-GSI