Olsen Twins asked to pose for Playboy

February 29th, 2008 // 129 Comments

Hugh Hefner wants the Olsen twins to pose nude for Playboy. Looking at these pictures from God knows when, (Are those two ever together anymore?) I’m now thoroughly convinced that old Hugh is blind as hell. Star has the details:

After striking out when the twins turned 18, Hugh tried again, hoping they would pose for Playboy’s June issue to mark their 22nd birthday.
“Hef thinks the twins are every young man’s fantasy,” an insider tells Star.

Yes, the Olsen twins really are every young man’s fantasy. You’ve truly got your finger on the pulse of today’s youth, Hugh Hefner. There’s nothing my generation wants to do more than open up an issue of Playboy and immediately want to masturbate with a cheese grater. I mean, seriously? Who spilled the beans?

Thanks to Paul for the tip who, thankfully, doesn’t have a wombat twin.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Gerald_Tarrant

    I didn’t know Playboy published an Ethiopian version.

    Maybe the story is wrong and the twins were asked to pose for National Geographic. Fucking bush women are looking at them going “click click pop snick click pop pop.” Translated means “eat something you fugly bitches”.

  2. Victoria

    eww yucky!

  3. Mike

    Hef also was quoted as saying “And we’ll also have a special on the Red Sox Curse – will they EVER win a world series?”

  4. N.Y. Ted

    Which is which and who is who…???

    Don’t really matter I suppose…they’re both FUNNY looking little elfs!

    Maybe that’s the turn on for that old pervert Hef…??

  5. aeuwave

    the one on the left looks like she will eat your soul… yipes…

    these girls are not hot. they were not cute babies either… and are not very attractive adults.

  6. Slick

    Sick, plain sick. Who the hell wants to look at two not even attractive, scrawny twins?

    Not this guy.

  7. toolboy

    Goddammit who mentioned Hanson??? Now I have that insipid mmmmBop song in my head. I must now cleanse my soul with alcohol and karaoke, and I fucking hate karaoke. Fortunately, I likes me some alcohol.
    And I’d pay to see them naked. It’s kind of like watching the last season of a good television show gone bad. You’ve invested so much time, you kind of have to see it through.

  8. Hello,
    I am a collector of troll dolls. Please somebody tell me where I can purchase these two exceptionally life like trolls, I imagine they are very rare and hard to find. They would be perfect as the centre piece for my troll village (which I am currently working on), please help. I am wiling to pay a very large amount of money.

    Many Thanks,

    Troll lover.

    P.S. I do not wish to see them naked. That is hghly undesirable.

    http://dollmamasden.com/traceytroll.jpg

  9. RENEE

    Everytime I see their fricken mugs I think…ORANGUTANS! And no, not in a cute little monkey kind of way. In an ugly ass humanoid planet of the apes kind of way. Hefner is really getting sinile…but then, there’s always photoshop.

  10. Guest

    The long haired one (mary-kate?) looks retarded. She looks like she has a humpback. And what’s with those faces? They’re trying to look good, but it’s not working. I would HATE to be the ugly twin….aka mary-kate.

  11. ds654

    Every man’s fantasy? Shouldn’t that read – every man who is forced to live outside of a 25 mile radius of a school? These two crackheads need to eat something.

  12. D. Richards (Meaningless.)

    Together? Both Olsen creaps naked, together? Well, I guess that’s kind of hot, in an asylum sort-of a way.

    Fuck it: I’ll wait for the photos to leak out on to the net. Who wants to pay eight or nine dollars for a magazine that is 95% wannabe wit, and the other 5%, ‘classy’? Fuck that, not me! Playboy’s always a let down. I’ll be a conscientious consumer. I’ll go out and purchase Buttman! It’s always 100% filth with John Stagliano. Perfect — just what the doctor ordered.

  13. Cynthia

    Look at their eyes in the smaller photos…blow ‘em up so you can really see them. Photo after photo… completely vacant, empty. Expressionless. Definitely NOT sexy, actually kinda scary…

  14. Joe C

    I also thought they have looked like troll dolls since they were ugly ass little kids. They have always had freak eyes and have always been hideous.

  15. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong

    I got the pictures from a friend who was on the set, who forwarded them to me after he was done throwing up and crapping his pants simultaneously.

    Spoiler alert.
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    Last chance…kind of graphic……

    Twins standing sexily in the corner:

    I I

    Laying down on the bed next too each other:

    __ __

    Doggy style:
    _ I
    I I

    Sixty-nine:
    II
    II

    Twins doing it with Pamela Anderson watching

    I
    P II
    I II

  16. Sauron

    I’m wondering who’s interested to see these two toothpicks naked.But i’ll guess there’re always some freaks who are.

  17. Jaz

    BLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAARRRRR

  18. Jaz

    Oh god I can’t sto

    BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFF

    urgh

  19. Your Grandaddy

    I’ve never had two twelve year old boys at once, and these two guys seem to fit the bill. What the hell, I’ll give it a yank.

  20. Dorito Man

    Cool, I hope they do it. I wonder if they both shave down below. I hope not.

  21. Your Grandaddy

    ps , 65.

    This is a family site, keep your filthy porno to yourself, and seek help.

    H

    (thats Ashley taking it from behind..Im skinny too)

    Wait, thats a personal photo, how did that get in here? My apologies.

  22. won’t even front…the one without all of the make is not lookin’ too bad…and pretty do-able…hawt…

  23. matt

    This isn’t going to happen. People only pose for playboy when theyre desperate for cash and unable to make it anyway else, like Charisma 50-year-old-nipples Carpenter.

    The Olsen Twins have so much money they could buy Heffner’s mechanical penis.

    Hasn’t that old useless fucker died yet? If there was any God the HIV virus would have spared us from him for a good forty years ago.

  24. As Always Hot Blondes (every man's fantasy-not darkies)

    They are very petite but gorgeous nonetheless. They have beautiful faces. As for their behaviour, try to imagine waking up 18 and a multimillionaire for nothing. Go anywhere in the world at any time you want. Fuck all kinds of people all kinds of places. I guess they make themselves up like they do in a search for meaning in their lives. Whatever they touch, like our girl Paris, turns to gold.
    These people do not have imagination and so to justify their preeminence, they dress in a manner that they feel is justified to their loftiness.

    I would bang the Hell out of them and I bet they love sex!!!!

  25. As Always Hot Blondes (every man's fantasy-not darkies)

    They are very petite but gorgeous nonetheless. They have beautiful faces. As for their behaviour, try to imagine waking up 18 and a multimillionaire for nothing. Go anywhere in the world at any time you want. Fuck all kinds of people all kinds of places. I guess they make themselves up like they do in a search for meaning in their lives. Whatever they touch, like our girl Paris, turns to gold.
    These people do not have imagination and so to justify their preeminence, they dress in a manner that they feel is justified to their loftiness.

    I would band the Hell out of them and I bet they love sex!!!!

  26. Obvious1

    How can they be in Playboy when they have no tits?

  27. Harry Nutzack

    Somebody said they saw Bob Saggets profile at
    “millionaircelebritysImaginebangintheirbabycostars.com”
    IS IT TRUE ?
    SAY IT AIN’T SO BOBBY !!
    But on the OTHER hand —– Rattlin Dem Bones together may not be anything less than hawt

  28. gabs

    #11 – best post of the day!

  29. Snarky McComments

    Fantasy? Maybe I could fantasize that those two smurfy cadavers are the monsters that were hiding under my bed and waiting to get me when I was a kid. But that’s about it.

  30. spinal

    I heard from a very reliable source on millionaire-dating.com that the one on the right smells like mothballs and the one on the left smells like stale queefs. Also if you put your ear against her twat, you can hear the tortured soul of Heath Ledger going “heeeeelp…heeeelp meeeeee…”

  31. Justy

    Grow up people

  32. Ted from LA

    I hope these two never stay over at my house. I could easily see getting up in the middle of the night to take a piss and see their dead eyes in the darkness and accidentally stomping the living shit out of both of them.

  33. killer

    For some reason Ashley is better looking than Mary Kate.

  34. justtheobvious

    why the hell would anyone want to see a scarecrow naked? Let alone 2! Fuck, the one on the left looks stupid as shit with that dumb hair and fake “pooch out my mouth” smile. I hope the other one decides to eat her and gain some weight and that alone would help world hunger & world peace.

  35. AliCat

    Nice fucking leather jacket.

  36. Bob Frapples

    actually, i think they are super sexy –

  37. KSo

    I thought you had to look good to pose in Playboy…..geez Hef, you just exposed the secret: Playboy uses Photoshop..and a helluvalot of it….

  38. Nate

    I’m a 21 year old man. Hugh Hefner is wrong.

  39. momo

    you are all full of shit.
    id bang em both…..

    and then kill them.

  40. momo

    just saying…..

  41. While I do think the Olsen twins are cute, they are far from sexy. I would look at them naked, like I would look at any other oddity…Definately not masturbation material…

  42. Spazz

    One of them in kinda hot.

  43. Juaqin Ingles

    Creepy as hell and beckoning like the keeper at the gate. I mean the one on the right, somehow (if the money, booze, etc. were right… okay, just some good cognac would do) I could see hitting that and then wanting to saw my dick off the next morning with the nearest available semi-sharp object while frantically flipping the dial on the radio to the nearest Mexican station and blaring tuba music at full bore to rid my mind of the unending thoughts of pedophilia, the Jungle Book, and Full House.

  44. Peetree

    they both look like damn crack whores/skeletons, so i dont wanna have to pay to see them naked. ESPECIALLY in such a great magazine as playboy.

  45. Grunion

    Definitely a couple of sociopaths. Nice thousand yard stares.

  46. FCS

    I can’t remember which one has the penis..

  47. BlahBlahBlah

    Ohmygosh!! EEEEEWW!!!! The Olsen twins are SO GROSS now!!! Especially the one on the left, I’m guessing Mary-Kate? Bleuh!! Can you say scary vampire/ zombie/ monster??? *shudders*

  48. honest guy's opinion

    #74. Yes genius that’s why Angelina Jolie is considered the hottest woman in the world. I’m a guy 6’2″ and athlete in great shape and I do have my pick and let me tell you I can’t stand blonds they look like complete morons. Do you know why there are so many blonde jokes, because infants and young children are often blond but they grow out of it and very few adults are naturally blond, so blond hair is viewed as infantile and associated with childlike intelligence and undeveloped mental, physical and comprehension skills. That is the truth that is the actual origin of dumb blonde jokes. But you wouldn’t know that would you sweetie. I could draw you a picture but, you’re not worth it.
    The list of gorgeous brunettes is far too long but, here is a sample.
    Catherine Zeta Jones
    Jessica Alba (naturally brunette)
    Adriana Lima
    Angelina Jolie
    Natalie Portman
    Aishwarya Ray (who was voted the most beautiful woman in the world btw)
    Salma Hayek
    Halle Berry

    Brunette and dark hair is mysterious and stunning; you’ll never see a blonde being called exotically beautiful. Your post showed your mental capacity do yes you are a typical blonde and I feel sorry for you. I have often chosen to not date blonds even though I’ve been asked out by them because frankly I just don’t find blonds attractive. To each their own so shut the fuck up. And if you don’t like what I wrote than wake up and realize that it’s pretty fucking disgusting to judge people by their hair color, skin color etc… I bet you’re a pathetic fucking racist too, get a life you ugly little bitch and then maybe you’ll have a little more going for you than your boring hair color. If you look like these chicks that’s just sad, since you are clearly unable to read you’ve obviouslty missed out on the FACT that people thing they are BUT FUCKING UGLY, they are constantly called trolls, vampire, goblins, monsters, zombie’s since they look just like ALL those freakish creaturesrolled into one nasty combination of fucking HIDEOUS!

  49. honest guy's opinion

    In conclusion please ask the person who is reading this to you to explain that I was giving you a taste of your own medicine (childrens advil for brainless sluts).

    Now please don’t respond mmmkay, trying to think of your typical brainless rebutal will likely cause you to faint and you’ll have to get your case worker to help you turn on the computer (or giant thinky machine as you call it) and trust me I wouldn’t read your response anyway so it’s not worth the colossal effort on your part.

  50. Now That We're On the Subject

    I’d much rather nail Jamie Lynn Spears than these two whatever-they-are.

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