Olivia Wilde Wants to Get Laid

February 9th, 2011 // 54 Comments

Good news for anyone who can compete with an Italian prince, Olivia Wilde wants to “sow her wild oats” which I’ll assume is some sort of euphemism for having sex with Wilford Brimley. Women are weird. Us Magazine reports:

“It was Olivia’s decision…for the typical Hollywood reasons,” another source close to Wilde tells Us. “Her career has exploded and she saw being married is not as much fun…. She is a hot property now … it was weighing her down being married.”

Somewhere Michael Bay just threw a bucket of mud on his Ferrari and shat out a script for Armageddon 2 in five minutes. “This one has two meteors, both fluent in jive. Care to see my pool filled with Steven Spielberg’s tears?”

Photos: Fame, Flynet

superficial

  1. Typical Superficial Reader

    Wow I’m totally gonna score!!

    • The REAL Typical Superficial Reader

      The only problem with that is that the typical Superficial reader is a hetersexual female or homosexual male. I am one of those, I don’t want her.

      • Jamie

        I am a Daily geekologie reader, I am straight, 25 year old male, and I listen to metal, Preferably Slipknot, Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson etc.

        OH I AM GOING TO SCORE WITH OLIVIA YES!!!!

      • Richard McBeef

        judging from the comments about terrible sexual acts in regards to most of the women posted on this site, I would have to disagree. Gay men wouldn’t pee in Wilde’s butt and hetero females wouldn’t even think of such a thing.

      • Me: Sleepover?
        Olivia: Not a chance
        Me: I read the Superficial
        Olivia: So you’re gay?
        Me: Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh…sure?
        Olivia: Well then, I don’t see the harm
        Me: (mental fist pump)

        Thank you Superficial Writer. Thank you.

      • IttyBittyTittyCommittee

        Luv it justme.
        I even read Olivias part with a womans voice.
        Thanx for getting me in touch with her, its been 2 long

  2. Mortimer Duke

    She’ll go crawling back to him when her “whatever the fuck” shes doing falls through.

    • Cock Dr

      She may try, but the guy’s an Italian prince & not bad looking. I’m sure he’s auditioning a number of possible replacements….if not then he’s a bigger fool than she is.
      Like she’s going to find a better long term gig in Hollywood. Marriage to European royalty vs washing Miachael Bey’s car….hmmmmmm.

    • Basketca

      Italian prince…. well, Italy hasn’t got a monarchy, so there’s no difference between being a “prince” and a guy who works at the McDonalds.

      Sometimes I wonder if people think europeans live in the middle age, living in castles, travelling by horse, etc.

      • basketcalol

        lol …yes there is a big difference.

        Italy does have a monarch…what the hell are you talking about?
        and Italian royality still owns land..etc……

        some even buy up and create their own countries in Europe…
        they do live in castles…..lol….even musicians like Sting has a castle..why would a Prince not have one?

        sometimes i wonder if people like you assume history is just neat stages that occur one after another….

        i

  3. lady jesus

    Hey, good for her. Girl wants to score.

  4. I guess, follow me, the bedroom is this way. Just drop your coat anywhere on the floor and don’t mind the cat turds.

  5. Happy Spillmore

    ~yawn~…This girl looks boring.

  6. ThisisnotTigerWoods

    Step right up and get in line. Please girls, no pushing or cutting in line. Well, Olivia, you may go to the front!

  7. RandaI

    I love the last names of all these party girls. Olivia Wilde, Megan Fox, Blake Lively… As if they aren’t fabricated. How trite.

    Sincerely,

    Randal Semen

    • That Bastard Tony

      You do know her real last name is Cockburn. I’m not even making that up. Might be a telling sign of why her marriage fell apart and why you may want to stay away.

    • DogBoy

      Hey douche– Megan Fox and Blake Lively are their real names.
      COMMENT: FAIL!

    • Did somebody call for GravyLeg?
      *dons his cape and cock ring… Oh… Um. Hold on… Just the the cape… just the cape…

      PS. I would have chimed in earlier but I just don’t find this particular post topic engaging. This is the classic Hillary Swank maneuver sans the Oscar win and tig bitties. Meh…

  8. Sporange

    Beats the hell out of those MC Hammer pants she was wearing the other day! Plus now I might get the image of Lindsay’s grandma boobs out of my head – yuck.

  9. This chick has no body what so ever. On the bright side, she has money to make up for it. So what the hell *shrug*

  10. lookin a LOT better than yesterday. i’d throw her a hard one

  11. Olivia Wilde Single
    Commented on this photo:

    nice ace

  12. Bringbackbabalu

    Damn, another Olivia post maybe I won’t have to watch Tron 2 again today, a double dose of Olivia is a good thing. Fuck that emergency flotation device 1 post above, and the crack whore nobodies. Olivia Wilde really is a highly advanced perfect computer program from the computer, I think. Thank you Jeff Bridges. Really though, I don’t think many of these superficial whores and fame whores would be half as cool as Olivia. Or maybe I am wrong, but she is still supremely hot.

  13. Scrabbypants

    Yet another vacuous Follywood whore.

  14. Rico

    I want to eat her ass.

  15. Rough--I will not have sex on valentine's day because its corny

    *Adding Olivia to the list of chicks who dump their man, when they found success*

    Regardless, here’s my phone # (212)300-5465

    Just a private line for Olivia loser…

  16. Olivia Wilde Single
    gonow
    Commented on this photo:

    amazing

  17. Apostate

    I may be a pauper,sexy Olivia,but I can assure that I’m an EXCITING pauper. Call me.

  18. A-list hot chick today McDonalds cashier the next.

  19. ‘This one has two meteors, both fluent in jive.’

    Bwaaaaaaaahahahah!

  20. Olivia Wilde Single
    Billy
    Commented on this photo:

    Stay tuned for more of ‘Olivia’s gone Wilde’

  21. Toby

    Her forehead is higher than mine is. Is she going bald?

  22. stupidficial

    Who is she and Y is her jaw so big?!

  23. Moggster

    I fucking lol’d, nice one superfish.

  24. hardasarock

    lol your all nit wits…haha

  25. hardasarock

    now olivia Newton now thats still one healthy looking lady…

  26. Manadaa

    Who cares…..

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